Being ‘M’

I wasn’t given a choice before I was born on my religion identity. It was just inherited naturally from my parents. Was born in a super minority Ismaili Shia community called Dawood Bohra’s, who are unique in a way of ideologies, thought process, progression, being opportunists and followers of the learnings of the Prophet & Qu’ran like any other muslim sect.

Was born and raised in a family of two cultures and nationalities from sub-continent meeting together, father migrated from Burma ( now called Myanmar) & mother being an Indian soul. For me it was a very multi cultured, linguistic, modernized and highly progressive childhood. We ate contrasting meals and gotaccustomed & molded into two cultures, needless to say both my parents adapted to their individual way of living, dressing, eating and many adjusting qualities. 

Was grown up reading about to Nehru, Gandhi’s, Margaret Thatcher, Kennedy’s biographies, subjects on tolerance, about British colonial raaj, how Japan invaded Burma, nationalization, forced dictatorship by General Ne Win, sacrifice of Aung Sang – national freedom hero for all Burmese, aspects and learnings from different religion, food, practice and much more. You cannot expect more diversity then this. 

Racial Teasing

Back in school days, to me racial teasing was a common amongst handful of targets and me being mostly on submissive front, often it is seen as harmless to others. But, it led to increases in anxiety symptoms.

Circumcision carried out as a recommended practice of Islamic culture by Muslims Male circumcision is widespread in the Muslim world and accepted as an established practice by all Islamic schools of jurisprudence. As a Shia muslim, this is more of an obligatory practice. Likewise, this is done in Jews as well. This was another symbol of identity of target among the rest in my school and my peer group bully constantly by calling out words like ‘half’ or ‘how do you pee’ or ‘ are muslims trans gender’ etc. 

I wasn’t taught back home to talk about anyone’ s personal feature, faith, color or religion or any form of identity discrimination and such constant torture, calling names brought deep dent on my liberty and tolerance. This was a kind of beginning at a tender age of being marginalised and discriminated against the rest, which technically lasted for good ten years of my school education. 

1992

It was back in late 1992 Mumbai communal riots due to escalations of hostilities after large scale protests by Muslims in reaction to the 1992 Babri Masjid Demolition by Hindu Karsevaks in Ayodhya.

It shattered most of us and the families in and around, where our homes were burnt into ashes. Barely 10years old child witnessing this horror, wasn’t easy to erase. Saw my parents holding each other and weeping of being homeless and living a dependent life on my maternal grandmother. Everything collapsed in a matter of days and with no business running, having no much money to move to any other place or buy a safe place within the community for future or get life back on track was like climbing Mt. Everest and back. 

All this probably developed more fear and stammering in me and this continued even today. Have recovered over the years of learning and practice, but the black patch takes it due course to annul. 

That was a year of seeding intolerance between two groups and after 27years passing through, I continue to face the non-acceptance even today. As a learned dual graduate in CriminalLaw & Finance, with a degree in Human Resource Management & a dual master degree in general management and finance holding a leading position in one of the top financial services company in the industry, I am treated like any other group who has no humanity to spread violence and intolerance in the society. 

When I go out, many times I don’t call out my name, instead I use a false name if meeting someone unknown. If I am travelling by train and meet with co-passenger, it is wise to keep the identity hidden as there is always an element of negativity if it is called out. “I cringe as I say this, but it is true” I live in a kind of fear in my own country as we reside in the other religion community majority area. 

Nothing new that I have witnessed such a climate of mutual suspicion between being Muslim and mainstream other indiansocieties. There is an increasing fear and opposition who are perceived as a threat to national identity, peace, domestic security and the social fabric. 

Are you Muslim?

Back in summer of 2018, I changed my job and moved to Pune -a bustling up metropolis in the state of Maharashtra and approx. 170kms away from the commercial capital city of Mumbai (Bombay)

Was given a company provided service apartment for a month and had to search for my alternate let-out accommodation within the stipulated period of time.

Although, this move was incredibly good with a new role, higher position and a new city to explore, however, this brought an unimaginable challenge for me. 

My mother and I would go around every morning before start of my work looking for a let-out accommodation, dealing with the estate agents & brokers to help find one. Was looking for an accommodation in a decent locality having a close proximity to all our daily needs and more over safe for my mother to live alone while I am off to work. There were plenty of vacant flats/houses that were available to choose from, but they weren’t meant for us.

Moment they realize or get to know that I am a muslim, thedoors were shut on our face. We spend hours driving in and around from one apartment to another, but things wouldn’t change. There wasn’t any landlord who was willing to give us a house on rent even after paying a premium. What we kept on hearing a tag line “ Muslims not allowed” or most of the societies were generous and they would say “ we don’t allow anyone who meat”- I mean are you for real? Shame.

I had a double disadvantage. First, I am a muslim guy and second to top it up, I am unmarried. Being unwedded brings further more issues in most of the residential places in India where you will not be allowed to rent a house.

It was a month long exhausting exercise, had to request for an extension of my stay at the service apartment or move back to Mumbai ( Bombay) and work from home. I eventually landed up moving to Mumbai for a while till I find a rented place in the new city. It took me months to find one and was cheated to pay 2months of rent as broker commission whereas, the market commission practice is 1month rent. This was exploitation, but had to bear the cost of acceptance without much to say.

What kind of world and society are we living in? Why am I not enjoying the same privilege and freedom like other people from mainstream society do? Why am I paying taxes to the government, when my basic need of shelter is so much of a communal concern and exploitation? Am I walking and rubbing shoulders with the people in the society who are from the mainstream, educated, civilized, yet having so much hatred and radicalism? I cant wear my headgear and walk freely, as others eyes would roll at you. My mother fears to wear Rida ( A kind of burqha & hijab for Dawood Bohra muslims) to avoid any unwanted attention. This clearly shows my freedom of choice. It is violating my constitutional rights, but who cares? 

This brings me to seek asylum or migrate to a nation with other odds and ideologies , at least my basic rights are not violated.

Over the years back in Mumbai, I got my first paid job back in 2003 and over the years became capable to buy my own house, yet it was such a challenge to get a one in a secured and decent township being a muslim. Was ready to pay premium and was thug once by the seller who took part payment and refuse to sell his flat to me. I was shattered losing all my savings in a fractionand cops wouldn’t come to my rescue due to my extreme label of “Muslim”. 

It took me nearly 15years to buy my own house, after so much deliberation and hunt, for which I paid a premium as it was supposed to be taken in an area where only Muslims reside. Doesn’t this sound outrageous?. Imagine how it feels to me…..!!!. 

The situation is not simple. How could an average unwedded upper middle class Muslim guy integrate into secular state? This is extremism and a step towards economic marginalization. It makes me feel whether am I a product of a narrative that divides the world into two campuses; us and them? In some ways, the relevant question today is a tolerant attitude to the opposite, a different outlook principles, then clearly the activity of mutual social, political and cultural, religious intransigence various associations. The basis of such intransigence often proclaimed not only the ethnic problems, but also confessional differences.

As the Holy Qur’an says: “If someone is out of the Gentiles will come and ask for the protection and patronage of the killers, you be his patron as long as he hears the message of Allah, and if you’re not confident escorted to a safe place for him”

My belief carries higher, spiritual, moral values of peace, good neighborliness. My thoughts dwell on the idea of instilling the principle of goodness, justice, and morality. I can only experience the fullness of life, happiness, satisfaction only if the belief it was received without violence and social acceptance, which I see completely lacking. 

 In a secular democracy I was brought up on , with a treatment of a second class citizen of this country with no discount on taxes or any obligations, Being M (Muslim) is my identity and it continues…….....!!!