Her

“One glance at her was all I needed to know she was the one.” I wrote in my diary. “.…. well not literally of course! I’ve known her since elementary school. I know her favorite color- Purple-, her favorite song album- Folklore by Taylor Swift-, and I know the more detailed events like what her dream job is (artist).  I could go on and on. I would but I don’t want to portray myself as a stalker, for I am just a lover. AND tomorrow’s the big day, this is what I’ve been working so hard for! This is the day I capture my diamond, my true soulmate, the light in my darkness...I mean it!”  

I finished writing the last of my entry before tucking the diary under my pillow. This morning would be busy -yes, I write my diary entries in the morning- but it would be well worth it. So far, I had weightlifting, cardio, homework, and I’d be picking up the flowers for my Juliet all before twelve pm. Her name’s not Juliet but I feel like I’m her Romeo. Everything I do is for her. Valentine’s day is tomorrow, and I’ll make her mine!  

“Gregory, if you want a ride to the gym come down now,” my mom yelled to me, “I’m getting groceries, so it’ll be in the same direction.”  

“Five minutes,” Mom I quickly replied as I changed into my gym gear and packed my bag.   

“So, what’s got you so happy, today?” My mom said to me as I climbed into the front seat.  

“Nothing, I’m just glad I could finally sleep in,” I replied.  

“Lie!” My mom said winking. “It’s a girl, isn’t it? I knew my Gregory would fall head over heels for a girl one day just re-”  

“Mom!” I exclaimed. “Nothing's official yet, don’t jinx it.”  

“Fine.” My mom slyly said back before igniting the car’s engine and starting our trip.   

I arrived at Planet Fitness with my workout on display via my phone.  

 I was feeling more pumped than usual- literally and metaphorically. Honestly, I did enjoy lifting weights and all that, but I couldn't say I’d do this if it wasn’t for her. She told me she likes 'strong guys' last year, and since then I’ve been building up myself to be just that. These workouts are brutal but they’re well worth it.   

“What’s up Gregory,” My gym friend, Brad, said to me. “You look like the happiest man alive, or should I say, teenager?”  

“Really funny Brad,” I replied while smiling, “I’m just excited to be here, and don’t forget I’m only seventeen for a couple more months.”   

“Hey, no need to get aggressive.” Brad laughed as he replied. “But let’s go out there and kill this workout.”  

“You know it.” I grinned back.   

We quickly warmed up and began the task.  

Currently, the lift was nearing its end and getting no easier.  

“C’mon Greg, one more rep!” Brad shouted to me. “You got this.”  

“Arghh.” I sounded while finishing the rep. My thoughts flooded towards her...knowing I had done well today meant I was a step closer to winning her over. 

“Good work today, bro,” Brad said to me, patting me on my back. “How about we head out for lunch in a couple hours? A new spot just opened up and I’ve heard some good things about them.”   

“Sorry bro, I can’t make it,” I responded, “I gotta knock some things off today.” 

“As long as you're not talking about any girls,” Brad winked, “You’re too young, kid.” 

“Good one,” I laughed. “Anyways, I’ll see you later, have a good one.” 

“See ya,” Brad replied. 

I left, knowing Brad would probably knock off another workout to kill time...terrible for his gains, but he preferred the pain over anything.  

My mom offered to pick me up after her food shopping trip, but I figured it’d be easier if I walked to the Walmart across the street to buy the flowers and chocolate. I could ride the bus home today.  

Upon entering the store, I realized I could buy my future wife (maybe I’m getting carried away) some chocolate as well. “Now, what did she say her favorite brand of chocolate was,” I thought to myself. “Ahh, Hershey’s Kisses.” 

I picked up the chocolate and glanced around until I found where the flowers were located, all the while feeling nervous about the big day.

 “Well, she did say roses were her favorite,” I thought as the bouquet of roses glistened in my hand.  

The line was short, and I was quickly able to check in and check out. The cashier had smiled at my purchases, but surely, he didn’t know who or what these were for! 

After getting home, I still had an hour of free time before cardio- look there’s nothing wrong with cardio but I remember five months ago she said, “I like guys with 6 packs” (I even wrote it down as proof), so even though I’m not its biggest fan, it only makes sense that I do it.  

Taking out my notebook, I began to doodle pictures of my family...my family with her of course! She was the queen, and I was the king. I even drew a castle in the background for better emphasis. There would be three children because that’s what she told me her preference was. “Her smile just gets me nervous -even in this not-so-good drawing.” I thought. “Nothing else in this world makes me feel like this. I hope she feels the same way. I want her forev-” 

“Ding ding,” My alarm sounded, indicating it was time for my cardio workout.  

I got up, quickly changed, and began my favorite 30-minute ab challenge video on YouTube. I was doing it in my room today because I wanted to finish my sketch in between the breaks. “Maybe I can show these to her when she’s mine,” I grinned to myself. 

I got through the next thirty minutes without much difficulty, and when it hurt the most, I thought of her. No pain could ever surmount the energy she provides me. I also finished the drawing which didn’t turn out too bad, but my work is far from being considered “artsy”. 

“Time for the best part,” I groaned to myself. It was never fun to do homework, but I would be able to send her pictures of the work I did. She's the only person I let copy off me, and she’s worth every risk.  

My thoughts slowly began to drift towards her as I started my homework:

"I just wish she’d text me more, but she’s always busy. She only ever holds convos when she wants something from me, but that’s okay, she’s probably just nervous to text me. I remember looking up dating advice on YouTube and it said that girls act shy around guys they like. On Friday, she seemed nervous at school, so she must be preparing to ask me something. On a side note, we talk way more at school than anywhere else... I don’t know why. I would text her right now, but she told me she was going somewhere and needed privacy. Whatever that means." 

Later 

The reason I started my day so early was so I could make tomorrow perfect. I’m going to execute everything flawlessly from what I say to her in the morning to when I ask her to be my valentine at lunch. Though I won’t say how long I’ve been talking to myself and staring in the mirror in anticipation of the event (out of embarrassment), I will say the sun has set. 

 I smiled at myself in the mirror confident this new me would win her over. I weighed 15 pounds more (all muscle) since last year, changed my hairstyle, new clothes, even ditched my old friends that didn’t fit her criteria just for this to work. There’s no way this doesn’t go in my favor.  

“Hey Google,” I said as I returned to my room, “Play Folklore by Taylor Swift on Spotify.” The best way to start a conversation with her tomorrow, like usual, would be to mention one of the songs to her.  

Next day 

I woke up with my clothes and gifts laid out, ready for the big day ahead of me. My nerves were at a high, but I was also confident I’d pull through. A part of me felt like this was my Superbowl, and one I couldn’t lose. I put too much into this.  

“I won’t be writing much today but for good reason!” I wrote in my diary. “Today’s the day I make my move and take home my princess.” 

“Who are the gifts for.” My mom asked as I opened the door to leave for school. 

“A special someone,” I remarked. 

“Good luck honey, tell me how it goes,” My mom replied. 

Sadly, the bus ride to school felt off. I was prepared for everything, but nothing quite clicked. The cloudy weather just made the scene gloomier.  

Lunchtime 

So far, I haven’t seen her all day which is odd because she usually takes the same route to her locker every day. I know this because that’s when I say hi to her. I’m feeling a bit down, to say the least. 

Glancing into the cafeteria, I see the table she usually sits at with me is empty (well, it's with her group of friends and my new group of friends but same thing). It’s like a spotlight is emitting it in the already bright area.  

“Where could she be,” I thought to myself as I desperately looked for her location. If I didn’t make my move now, I wouldn’t have another opportunity.  

“Ahh, there she is,” I mumbled, seeing her tucked into the back of the cafeteria. Her skin and face seemingly glowed. Was she an angel?  

Her back was turned to me as I walked up to where she. My fingers fumbled with the zipper on my backpack as I went to grab the flowers.  

“Aww Brett of course,” I heard her say to my friend next to her. What were they talking about?  

Building my confidence, I opened my mouth to speak but stopped open seeing her stand up. Was that a box of chocolate by her side? 

She reached forwards and wrapped her arms around Brett, kissing him and leaving me shocked. How didn’t I know about this? 

Every part of me shattered and my heart no longer swelled with affection. I needed to get out of here. 

I quickly turned around, feeling lost and distraught as to who I was or what I was aiming for. 

“Hey Greg,” I heard her say, “Where are you going? Don’t you want to sit with us?” 

"Yeah man c'mon," Brett said.

I never looked back and, instead, made my way into the restroom. The emptiness I felt was equivalent to nothing I had ever experienced before. It was as though a hundred right hooks annihilated my chest. I had done all of this for a girl that didn’t see me as anything more than a friend. 

“Why..” I cried out. “Why did this have to happen?” 

I sat there for some time, realizing that no matter how much one tries to change themselves to win over another person, it will never work if that person doesn’t want them back.  

I snuck out of school early to stand in the rain. It was a feeling unlike one I had perceived in the past. A mix of relief and sadness poured out of my system as I stood there crying.  My body felt like it was on the brink of collapsing, my vision was clouded with tears, and my nose was clogged with snot. However, I was still alive.  

“Maybe she wasn’t the one after all," I forced a smile as the tears came out, “But I wanted her to be the one for me.” 

The rain eventually stopped as I began my walk home. I didn’t know who I was anymore or what my goals were in life. However, a sense of hope-filled my body, and I understood it just wasn’t meant to be.