It's Not Funny Anymore

It started as a joke that everyone laughed at.  Those laughing never thought such a silly thing would come to this.  As everyone gathered outside the church, dressed in black, there was no more laughter, only tears and sadness.

Two years earlier Jonathon met Anna and they instantly fell in love.  She was attracted to him for so many reasons.  One of those reasons was the fact that he had no ex-wife and no children.  To her this meant he had no baggage.  Anna had two children, a boy and a girl, in their teens.  Her first husband had died a couple years before and though she wasn’t looking for a relationship, Jonathan stole her heart.  

After three months of seeing each other, Anna decided to introduce Jonathon to her children.  She sat them down to tell them she had met someone that she really cared about.  Clair, her daughter, met her with rolled eyes (as only a fifteen-year-old girl can do) and a “whatever”.  Ryan, her seventeen-year-old son, met her with anger.  “I will never accept this!” Ryan said.  “I had a dad, and I don’t want another one!”

Anna tried to explain that Jonathon in no way wanted to take their dad’s place.  He only wanted to be their friend, get to know them, and be someone who could possibly be a support in their lives.  Jonathan would be arriving any minute and Anna instructed her kids to be respectful if nothing else.  That first meeting was awkward to say the least!  Very little words were said and Anna felt pulled between these two worlds.  

Another couple months went by without change from her children.  The holidays were coming up and she knew there would be more drama.  She had fallen in love with this man, she enjoyed spending time with his family and friends, and (except for her children whom everyone said would come around) her family enjoyed him as well.  So, one day at dinner she announced that Jonathon would be joining them for the holidays.  This is where the “joke” started.

Ryan very dramatically stood up from his chair and declared, “Mom, I am putting my foot down!  If you want to spend time with him, fine, but I will not.  He is NOT coming for Thanksgiving and Christmas!  I will not allow it!”  Anna had to bite her lip and hold in the laughter - he was putting his seventeen-year-old foot down, huh?  It was comical yet she loved this boy with all her heart and soul.  She knew he was just grieving for his father.  But she loved Jonathon now too.  What was she going to do?  How could she choose between the children she’d given birth too, cared for, sang to, fed and clothed, cheered for, cried with in the hardest times and this man who’d come into her life and gave her hope again for a happy future, who’d been patient and kind, who’d made her laugh again and feel so good about herself?  How?  Being in the middle of these two sides was painful and lonely.

After a couple weeks, conversations with trusted friends and family (who all laughed and laughed at Ryan’s comment of “putting his foot down”), and much thought, Anna chose her children.  “I’m sorry, Jonathan, but I have to put them first.  You and I can celebrate separately this year and by next year at this time the kids will have come around.  They just need more time.  Plus, I think if they can see that you are making me happy and that they are still the most important people to me, it’ll help them accept you all the more!”

Jonathan wasn’t happy but said he understood.  “I support you, Anna.  I want you to be happy and I want the kids to feel important.  I can wait.”  It made her love him all the more!

Six months later Jonathon surprised Anna, Ryan, and Clair with a trip to Hawaii as a gift for Ryan’s high school graduation.  This made Clair very happy.  Ryan, although still reluctant, was coming around too.  They had a wonderful trip during which Jonathon took Ryan aside and asked him permission to propose to his mom.  Their man-to-man talk was what it took for Ryan to turn the corner.  He gave his permission and at sunset that evening on the beach Jonathon got down on one knee.  With tears in her eyes Anna looked to her son who nodded his head, yes.  “I don’t have to choose anymore”, she thought.  

What she didn’t know was that Clair's blood was boiling!  No one had asked her permission!  No one had asked her thoughts at all!  She didn’t say a word though - as usual.  She was going to have to live with this man.  “Ryan gets to go off to college and live his own life while I have to be under the same roof.  This is so unfair!”  Clair thought.

On a beautiful June day Jonathon and Anna were married outside under a flower arch made of orchids to represent their Hawaii trip and proposal.  Clair was the maid of honor and Ryan was the best man.  Everyone was happy (or at least playing the part).  Anna had no idea that her days of having to choose between two worlds was far from over.

Two months later Ryan went off to college eight hours away from home.  Clair was going to be entering her junior year of high school.  She was a beautiful, popular girl.  Once Ryan left, she put her plan into place.  She began wearing short shorts and lower cut shirts without a bra around the house.  She’d innocently bend over in front of Jonathon looking for any sort of reaction.  One day Anna was gone.  Clair decided this was the day.  

She came out of the bathroom in just a towel.  When she saw Jonathon she reacted as if she didn’t know he was home.  He was in the kitchen when she startled him.  “I’ve seen you looking at me.”  She said.  At his silence she dropped the towel and said, “You want to see all of me?”

“Clair, go get dressed.  I don’t know what you’re trying to do but I don’t want any part of it.”  Jonathan said.

“Really?  Then why are you hard?”  Clair challenged.  Jonathan tried to walk away but Clair pushed him up against the counter and leaned into him.  She put her hands on him and said, “you can touch me if you want”.  

“I do NOT want that.  I’m going to go.  I don’t ever want this to happen again!”  Jonathan said and then walked out of the house.  

The next day Clair came to Anna with tears in her eyes.  “Mama, I have to tell you something horrible.”  Anna was listening!  “Mama, yesterday when you were gone Jonathon touched me.”

Alarm surged through Anna, “What do you mean?”, she said.

“I thought he was gone too.  I came out of the shower in just a towel.  He surprised me and then cornered me so that I was up against the counter in the kitchen.  I told him to get away from me but he pulled my towel off and started touching me.  He was hard, mom!”  Clair was crying hard now.  Anna was reeling!  

“Has anything like this ever happened before with him?”, Anna asked.  

“No.  I didn’t think he could ever do something like this.  He always seemed so nice.”  Clair cried.

Anna comforted her daughter, told her it would be okay, she would fix it, and apologized that it had happened at all.  That evening Anna went to Jonathon and confronted him.  

“She said what?!”  he yelled.  Anna had never heard him raise his voice before.  “SHE is the one who made a pass at ME!  I told her to go get dressed and to NEVER do anything like this again!  I don’t know what she’s trying to pull.  Maybe she’s trying to get us to break up?  I don’t know but this is inexcusable!”

“If that’s true, if she pursued you, then why didn’t you tell me last night?”  Anna asked.

“I didn’t want to cause an issue.  I figured she was just being a stupid, teenage girl and I wasn’t going to play into her game.”  Jonathan said.

Once again Anna was faced with the issue of who do I choose?  Who did she believe?  How could this be happening?  The next day she went to Clair to discuss what Jonathon had said about what had happened.  Clair looked down at the floor and said, “so, I guess you believe him?  You’re going to choose him?”

“I’m not saying that, Clair.  I’m just trying to figure out the truth.  I am stuck in the middle of a horrible situation.”  Anna responded.

“Yes, your situation is the horrible one.  Go ahead, believe him.  It’s fine.”  Clair said and walked away.  Anna called after her, went after her but she was gone.  

Anna went to her best friend’s house to talk and try to make sense of this story.  As she drove home that night, she heard sirens and saw an ambulance pass her.  The closer she got to home she realized those sirens, those police and EMTs were at HER house!

There were officers blocking the street as she got out of her car screaming, “That’s my house!  What is going on?!”

Jonathon had come home to find the floor in the bedroom flooded.  Red tinted water was coming from the bathroom where he’d found Clair in the bathtub.  She had used a razor to cut her wrists and thigh.  She was gone.  

There was no longer a need to choose a side, yet Anna chose her kids.  She told Jonathon she never wanted to see him again.  She felt she should’ve chosen her children to begin with and this was her fault.  She had lost her husband and now her daughter.  She would devote the rest of her life to making sure her son had all he needed.

THE END