Watch Your Back

Watch Your Back

I had been following Christine Manning for almost a year and had seen many, many things. She was a spy working for the Iranian government. I have yet to understand why.

She seems to like Iranian men were in great favor based on all of her trysts. Of course, they like her. She "entertains" frequently, but I have fallen in love with her. It's really an unfair twist of fate, but there you have it.

     Then, one day, when I went to my usual intercept spot there was no Christine. I spent the whole day going to her varying favorite spots, but no Christine. Maybe she was sick. She actually looked like she never got sick; healthiest person on the planet. Maybe she was transferred, fired, or killed. Well, try again tomorrow. 

     The next day, I eagerly went to the intercept spot and I was disappointed. Still no Christine. I thought I would just try the "haunt" route again. At the end of the day, I was missing a Christine.

     This went on for about a week. I was faithful in my search and I asked for help from some of my fellow counterspies. Of course, they made fun of me but there were also sympathetic comments. "Damn, hate it when that happens," kind of stuff. I would have lowered myself to cynicism as well.

     My boss called me in for a little chat. "Eric, you seem to have lost your raison d'etre." I thought, "Thank you Bob, but it's really not that funny." Plus, I was still in love with her and trying to figure what that meant. Would we ever have a chance romantically?" 

     "OK, Eric, I think I detect pain and some embarrassment on your face. Whoo. Are you involved with this bitch? No, you are too good for that, Eric. Must be your professional pride suffering. Well, I am on your side Eric and I am happy to let you know that we hear through the grapevine that she has been punished and is no longer working our beat. I guess that could be disturbing news for you, but it presages other news. You are getting a new assignment. I will conduct a review for you of your finished assignment. Don't get nervous, I think you were doing a good job."

     "Take this envelope, read the assignment, and go to the armoury You will need a more serious weapon for this work. It's always fun to get a new gun. Get out of here."

     Eric walked out feeling good about the upcoming review. He knew he had done a good job and was glad to get recognized for it. He thought about going to the cafeteria for a cup of coffee and to read his new assignment. Then he realized that was a bad idea and he sought out one of the "study" rooms. He found one straightaway and went right in without knocking.

     His knees buckled, his head started bobbing up and down, and he had serious difficulty breathing. He fell into the closest chair and felt his stomach roil like a whirlpool full of dead baby chickens. He was on the verge of vomiting.

     "Hello, Eric. How are you?" said Christine. "I would like you to meet Roger Balwin," turning to the man sitting next to her. "Roger is taking over your job of following me. This little surprise must tell you that I am a double agent. Roger will probably know everything that I am going to do before I do it. The Ministry of Intelligence has selected you as a target Eric. They consider you dangerous, but they lost track of you while you were following me. How's that for irony? I am supposed to find you and follow you."

     Eric let out a strange gurking noise and looked totally bushwacked. He sputtered for a little bit, almost drooling on his nice blue business suit. "Good God!" he exclaimed. "Roger, would you be so kind as to give us just a few minutes."

     Roger was laughing. "Eric, I am pleased to meet you. I have heard of you because you have a big rep. Not quite James Bond but lots of good stories. I really am pleased to meet you and I must say this is a bizarre circumstance. I have never met someone who I am supposed to follow and especially someone who is supposed to follow another agent. Gods bodkins."

     "Sure. I'll give you all the time you want. I will be in the hallway and you can come out for me when you are through. Although, I have to say, I would love to hear what you two talk about. Anyway, take your time. Ooops is it OK with you Christine?

     "I guess so," answered Christine. "I don't think things could be anymore bizarre, unless perhaps if Eric is going to propose. Eric?"

     Eric started, choked and tried to talk. "No, no, I am not going to propose. What, are you kidding?" Eric started coughing rapidly. Roger laughed and left the room.

     "All right, big guy, before you start talking, I have something to share---a couple of things really. First, I have been aware of you for about a year now and I never told anybody except your boss a few hours ago. Nice guy."

     "Second, I have had a thing for you since, oh, May. You are very impressive Eric, handsome and, my guess you are very intelligent.

     "Third, this is a very dangerous assignment. The Iranians are looking to make an example, a criticism of America and its intelligence services. They are quite willing to give me up, would even kill me if they thought they could shame the CIA. I will be expecting you to protect me."

     "Finally, all those men you saw coming and going in my apartment were not awarded treats even though every single one thought he was about to score. There is a lot of resentment toward me in the Ministry, a lot of disappointed assholes. So, you need to be really on your guard, on my guard."

     "My turn," said Eric. "First things first, I am under your spell and you know how bad, how wrong that is for any kind of spy. As life turns, it can't be helped. My goal will be to get out of this profession so you and I can have a relationship. Seriously."

     "Second, I am sure that you are aware of the whole Robert Malley business. I would be interested in hearing how you avoided getting caught when the U.S. busted up his espionage ring in D.C. just last year."

     "Third, we need to agree on a few code words for crises. Words that will stand for "run," "danger," and "here."

     "They are outfitting me with a special high caliber, automatic pistol with a few exotic features. We are in extreme danger."

     Suddenly, the door burst open and Roger came rushing in. "Hurry," he breathed, "we've got to go. This is the last time we will all be together and we've got to run."

     "What about my gun?" asked Eric.

     "You can get it later. There is a car outside waiting for us. Hurry."

     It didn't feel right to Eric, but he was in a solid state of confusion. He jumped to his feet and Christine did as well. They were on the first floor, so they all ran out the front door and there was a black BMW parked at the curb. As they ran to the car Eric exclaimed "This isn't right," just as an automatic weapon barrel poked out of the back seat window and fired six shots. Three went into Eric, three went into Christine and Roger ran to the passenger door and jumped. The black BMW squealed away from the curb.