Ellencole

Light - 9:00 am, now

The heat of the summer sun seared through Cole’s body. He moved uneasily in his sleep trying to shield himself from the heat. Cole was vaguely aware of the sweat that was trickling down his forehead. He wiped it off and wondered if he ought to wake up. His body felt terribly exhausted, as though he had run a marathon the previous night. He decided to wake up anyway and opened his eyes slowly. Instead of his usual low hanging blue fan, all Cole was able to see was a wide, unending spectrum of light. 

“Whoa, who put the sun in the room today?” Cole wondered aloud, chuckling to himself and turning away from the sun. To his surprise, he was still not able to see anything other than the light. He was pretty sure the sun was behind him, its warmth was falling right onto his back. Confused, he rubbed and blinked his eyes. 

“What’s wrong with my eye?” He asked. He wondered if he ought to call out to his mom for help when he realised he wasn’t in his room. It was a room, sure, but definitely not his. There was something disorienting about the room. It took him a moment to realise that it was the smell. He could smell a weird antiseptic in the air and he realised where he was - the hospital. With his eyes still not adjusting to the light, he tried to think back on why he was in the hospital in the first place. Almost immediately, the accident came to his mind in flashes. 

Dark - 9:00 pm, previous night

Cole loved driving on the highway. It was not often that his dad would allow him to drive the car without his supervision. To be fair, it had only been 8 months since he had turned eighteen. But Cole had always been longing to drive on the highway. He had finally gotten the chance this night, on a date with Ellen, his girlfriend. Their relationship was exactly an year old and they had gone out on a date to celebrate. Cole was ecstatic about it. He felt their last one year together had been great. And their date today had been cute. They had driven to the nearby city and caught up on a new movie, ate some great dinner in a romantic setting and now they were on their way back home. He turned sideways to look at her. The dress she had chosen to wear this night was exceptionally beautiful. He grinned at her happily. 

“How did you like today?” He asked her. 

Ellen just blushed. She turned his head towards the road and tenderly kissed his cheek. Cole suddenly noticed that as they were approaching their town, it was way darker than it ought to be. Ellen noticed it too and took out her phone to check. 

“Oops, looks like there’s been a city wide power cut,” she said.

Cole groaned. He hated power cuts. As they were driving through, Cole realised the traffic signals weren’t working as well. Cole drove silently, ensuring that he was paying sufficient attention to the dark roads. He was just about to turn into the lane where Ellen stayed when the unthinkable happened. A truck had been driving with its headlights off and had been coming in the opposite direction. Cole hadn’t seen the truck and the driver of the truck hadn’t seen Cole either. The lack of a traffic light added to the mess and before he knew it, the truck hit right onto their car. 

Light - 10:00 am, now

Cole had spent the past hour trying to piece together everything that had happened the previous night. The fact that the accident might have affected his eyesight freaked him out but he reasoned with himself that it must have been some painkillers that the doctor had injected into him that was causing this issue. He had tried calling out a few times but no one had answered. It didn’t help that he couldn’t find his phone in his pocket either. He assumed that whoever brought him to the hospital might have kept it with them for safety. He was also worried sick about Ellen. Where was she? 

Cole heard the door creak open. He could hear someone walking in but wasn’t sure who it was. 

“Hello?” He asked uncertainly. 

“Are you awake?” replied a lady. 

“Are you the doctor?” Cole asked hopefully. 

“I am,” she replied with a smile. Cole thought that she replied with a smile because he could almost feel a smile in her voice. 

“How are you feeling now?” The doctor asked him. 

“Um…Doctor, I can’t see anything,” he said slowly, hoping that the doctor would give him a perfectly reasonable explanation about it. But the doctor’s response alarmed him.

“What do you mean?” she asked. 

At that moment, he knew that the doctor had nothing to do with it. His accident had screwed it up. Cole buried his face into his hands.

“What happened?” The doctor asked again.

“I can’t see. I can’t see anything. All I see is a bright light,” Cole said with panic in his voice. 

The doctor told him that she would check his eyes. 

She flashed a torchlight onto his eyes to examine it. Cole assumed she did that because she told him that she was going to do so. But he actually couldn’t find any difference. His eyes were filled with light anyway. 

The doctor examined his eyes a few more times and then stopped.

“I am not able to determine with certainty right now. I will need to run a few scans,” she said. 

“Sure,” he muttered. He felt empty all of a sudden. There was so much light all around him and yet he remained in the dark. He started worrying about his future. How could he lead his life without his eyes? Cole fidgeted his fingers uneasily. He would have preferred to walk up and down the room but he couldn’t afford to do so with his condition. A thousand thoughts ran through his mind. He felt his whole life was thrown in disarray. He could feel his mind overflowing with agitation.

“Arrrgghhhh,” he shouted out, trying to vent his frustration. 

“I am so sorry,” said the doctor. Cole stopped dead in his thoughts with embarrassment. He had assumed the doctor had left. He didn’t know what to tell her.

“It is completely possible that it is just temporary because of the accident. The shock must have affected the brain in someway,” she said optimistically. Cole didn’t know if he ought to feel hopeful. He didn’t want to build up hope and get disappointed later. His thoughts suddenly went back to Ellen.

“Who brought me to the hospital?” He asked the doctor. 

“There was this young girl. I think she is your girlfriend,” said the doctor. 

“Oh thank god, is she okay?” Cole asked. 

“She actually had some bleeding on her head. We didn’t see it initially when she brought you in yesterday. You know, the power cut - it was all dark anyway. But when I noticed it, I immediately asked her to get it checked. She’s in the next room. She just needs some rest,” said the doctor. 

Cole smiled. At least she hadn’t gone blind. If Ellen had brought him in on her own, she was definitely okay. Cole wanted to see her badly. But boy, he couldn’t. He groaned at his thought. Would he never be able to see her again? He felt terribly disturbed at this thought and tried to push it away. Cole’s nineteen year old mind was worried about a ton of things - how would he deal with college life as a blind person? How could he play in the college sports teams? How could he date Ellen? Ellen. He wondered how she would feel dating a blind boyfriend. He wondered how he would feel about it. He couldn’t imagine Ellen walking him around to every class, with him clinging onto her helplessly. He felt embarrassed. It hurt him to think that he was gonna be dependent on others for the rest of his life. Ellen was sweet but he felt all his dependence would turn her sweetness into frustration. Ellen was like a shining star of light. He didn’t want to cling on to her all the time, draining out all her energy. It would be like sucking out all her light and replacing it with the walking pile of darkness that he was. But he also needed her badly right now. He buried his face into his arms and started crying. He could feel the tears streaming down his cheeks. He needed to talk to Ellen at least once. But not as a blind person. He didn’t want her pity. He just needed her love. There’s a difference between the light you turn on when the room is dark versus the sun that shines without you ever asking. He decided he would meet Ellen and pretend like nothing was wrong. He wasn’t sure if he could do it but he sure had to try sooner than later. 

Light - 3:00 pm, now

Cole carefully walked into Ellen’s room. He had taken help from a nurse at the hospital to reach till her room. But he had insisted that the nurse needn’t enter along with him. He walked into her room slowly, feeling his way around, hoping Ellen hadn’t awoken from her treatment yet. He felt the metal edges of the bed and stopped near it. 

“Ellen?” He whispered softly, almost hoping that she wouldn’t answer. 

“Cole?” She replied back in surprise, “I am sorry, I didn’t see you enter.” 

“Haha, I was trying to be discreet,” Cole answered lamely. Cole sighed gladly. She hadn’t noticed yet. 

“How are you?” She asked him, “I was so worried. You were unconscious the whole time.” 

“Well, I am okay now,” he lied. Cole assumed he was looking straight at her. He kept his eyes straight, hoping she wouldn’t figure it out. 

“Why are you standing far way Cole? Come near me,” she said. Cole hesitated. He didn’t know if he could make it to the bed without stumbling upon something. 

“Give me your hand,” he said extending his arm over the bed hoping Ellen would see it as a romantic gesture rather than the frantic measure of help it really was. A moment later, he felt Ellen’s hands pulling into his. They were cold. Cole stepped his legs over the bed and found himself sitting on the edge of the bed. He could feel Ellen’s legs near his. 

“How does that scar feel now?” Ellen asked. 

“Huh?” Cole asked. 

“That scar on your forehead. It was bleeding pretty badly yesterday. I was worried,” she said. 

“Oh yeah? It is fine now, haha, I can’t even feel it,” Cole said, randomly rubbing his forehead over. He was pretty sure he was going to get caught this time around. He had no idea which part of his forehead the scar was on. He couldn’t feel it either. Ellen however didn’t seem to find it odd. 

“That’s good,” she said and Cole could almost feel her smile. He leaned closer until he could feel her breath on his. And he angled his eyes into what he assumed were her eyes. 

“You look great,” Cole lied. He assumed Ellen blushed and he leaned even closer to kiss her.

Ten minutes later, Cole returned to his room on the pretext that the doctor still had to do some checks on him. It was partly true, he was due for some scans for the next hour but he had come back because he was feeling livid. He had gotten the love he had wanted but he had lied for it. He felt horrible about lying to her. He was glad she hadn’t found out but she eventually would. He knew it’d be better for him to tell her the truth than she finding it out on her own. The doctor came in to his room and told him they were taking him for a scan. He decided then that the moment he came back from the scan, he would go to her room and tell her the truth. 

Dark - 6:00 pm, now

This time, Cole didn’t hesitate when the nurse offered to drop him inside the room. He requested her to seat him in a chair near Ellen. He knew Ellen would wonder why he was being helped by a nurse into the room. But before she could ask him, he decided he would blurt out the truth. 

The nurse helped him get seated on a chair and left the room. Cole waited until he heard the door close and then turned towards Ellen or at least where he thought she was.

“Ellen, I want to say something,” he said. He waited. He started having second thoughts. Maybe he ought to do it later? He wanted to run away. But he knew it was too late. Ellen had seen him being helped by the nurse.

 “I want to ask you something, Cole,” she said.  

Here it comes, Cole thought to himself, she wants to know why I was helped by the nurse. 

“Hear me out first,” Cole said with a slight tremble in his voice. He didn’t hear any response from Ellen so he assumed that she must have nodded. 

“So…” 

Cole suddenly heard the door open. 

“Good news, I found out that it is just temporary Hemeralopia that is affecting your vision,” said the doctor walking in confidently. 

“What is Hemeralopia?” Cole asked. He felt hot in his face. The doctor had just bluntly put the news out. Did she assume he had already told Ellen? He wondered what Ellen was thinking.

“Hemeralopia is what you would call in simple words, day blindness. It prevents you from seeing during day time. Now that the sun is setting, you should be able to start seeing clearly any moment now. And here’s the thing, the day blindness is pretty temporary as well. Give it 2-3 weeks and you are gonna be completely alright,” said the doctor with what Cole assumed was a huge smile on her face. 

Cole heaved with relief. He was glad he would get his eyesight back. It was just a matter of weeks! His life was back in shape now. But he was still embarrassed that the doctor had put it out in front of Ellen without asking him first. He could hear the doctor walk out, closing the door behind her. He looked at Ellen’s direction again. 

“I am so sorry,” they said together.

“Wait what?” Cole asked, “why are you sorry?” 

“Why are you sorry?” Ellen asked back.

“I shouldn’t have hid the blindness from you,” he said putting his head down in shame.

“You are blind?!” Ellen asked, sounding almost thrilled.

“Uh huh,” said Cole.

“Oh my god! I am too!” 

Cole jolted upright. 

“What do you mean?” He asked. 

“I thought the doctor was talking about me. But I think she was talking about both of us,” said Ellen, laughing nervously with joy.

Cole sat dumbly for a moment and then started laughing. 

“But how did you admit me into the hospital yesterday?” Cole asked.

“It was dark. Oh god, I should have realised it this morning. That’s why I was able to see yesterday night. I could only see a plain light in the morning,” said Ellen.

Cole jumped up in joy. His eyes were starting to see shadows. He realised the sun was setting. 

“Are you able to see a bit now?” Ellen asked. Cole nodded. He walked towards what seemed to be like her shadow and placed a hand over hers. 

“So is this what you came to tell me?” Ellen asked. 

“Yes. What did you want to ask me?” Cole asked.

“I wanted to ask if you would fancy dating a blind girl,” Ellen said with a smile. The room was getting darker every minute and with that, their eyes were seeing more. Ellen stepped out of her bed. Cole wrapped his arm around her and they walked together towards the window. The night sky was starless but they could see a shadow of the crescent moon in the distance. The street lights in the lane beside the hospital weren’t working properly. They looked at each other fondly with a smile. 

There was darkness all around, but for them it didn’t matter - for there was light in their eyes now.