The Search for a Good Nights Sleep

Assyria. Akkadia. Babylonia. Sumeria. Those were the four large empires that existed through ancient Mesopotamia, up to 500 BCE. And in alphabetical order as well. Or was it? Did I say Akkadia or Assyria first? That's got to be the most dull thing I can think of. 

Akkadia, Assyria, Babylonia, Sumeria. Assyria. Damn it. Akkadia. Assyria. Is that really the best mantra? I think it’s supposed to bore you. I guess it shouldn’t be so boring that I can’t concentrate on it though. What if I open my eyes. Will that ruin it? They feel like they want to open.

Fuck. The ceiling is still beige. There is a little spot on it there though. Maybe if I focus on that my eyelids will grow heavy. Heeaaavyyy. Come on, heavyyyy. Ok I'll take it from the bottom again.

My toes are filled with a soothing liquid, both cool and warm, and as heavy as mercury. From them it flows into my feet, filling them with a soft sensation, and they sink into the mattress. I can feel them pulling me down, down into sleep. They tug on my legs as the liquid fills further up my calves and through my shins. All the small muscles in my knees relax. The spot on the ceiling is the only thing I can look at. My thighs grow limp and heavy. I can feel sleep crawling up my body. My crotch is itchy. Shit. If I don't move at all it works better. I think it was fifteen minutes that article said. If you lie completely still for fifteen minutes, the body automatically falls asleep. God it's itchy. That's better. 

I swear it's been weeks of this; It'll probably start affecting my work if I don't fix it. I wonder if Lauren will be there tomorrow. Is it because of work I can't sleep? I guess it started about the same time. It's a good job though. And archiving old exhibitions isn't really stressful. Not exactly my college dream, but a good temporary. Maybe I should ask for night shifts. Do museums even have that, or is that only in the movies? I guess that's a security guard thing. And night shifts sound dull. I mean I guess I wouldn’t be able to tell in the storage room anyway, but I’d probably be the only one working. Unless I could convince Lauren to join me. She would probably be down for some crazy idea like that. ‘You’re an idiot, I love it.’

Why do my eyes want to stay open? Maybe there is too much light. I should order those dark curtains I was looking at. The street lamps shine right through these. Maybe I should wait to order them if I move when I change jobs. I could just hang some towels to block the light out. Yeah, let's do that.

Oh god it's cold outside the covers. Shit, I put my towels in the laundry room. Where are my pajamas? If I turn on the lights it'll fuck up my whole routine. Maybe if I keep one eye closed it'll be fine? Like a pirate wearing an eyepatch to go below decks. Damn that's bright. Alright there they are. I'll get a glass of water now I'm up anyway. 

Oh right, the kitchen is a goddamn mess. is there not a single clean glass? I wonder if I'll grow out of these habits. Maybe when I get a real job I'll become organised. Or I'll be one of those history professors who can name every birthday of the British royal line but not remember their doctor's appointment two days from now.

Sounds like Parker is still up - I guess I don't need to worry about noise. Does that guy never sleep? I guess that's what mornings are for. I swear he doesn't know how good he has it. Or that a proper night's sleep is a major impact on quality of life. Does his keyboard really need to be so damn loud?

It's harder than you'd think, keeping one eye closed. Shit that water is cold. Is that gonna wake my body up? Uhg, I’m really not helping the problem by leaving the glass on the counter. Then again it’s a drop in the ocean at this point. And the quicker I’m back in bed the better my sleep will be, so this is really for the better. 

Holy crap the bathroom is nice and warm. They should lead the piping through the bedroom, save a bit on heating. Towels, towels, where are you. Oh right, they’re unwashed; I guess they just need to hang. Hopefully it won't affect the air quality, I think that's a major factor for good sleep as well. How many towels do I need to cover up the window? I'll just grab all three of them. Damn the rest of the apartment feels cold now. He’s still tapping away in there. Goodnight Parker you vampire.

Damn this eye trick actually kinda works. Alright how do I fasten this shit? Maybe I can use a belt. Shit I can barely reach the curtain rod on this wobbly ass chair. Come on, get in there. Yeah, that seems to do the trick. Shit now I can’t see. I guess that’s good, as long as I don't break my neck getting down.

Uh, the covers are still warm. Alright. Akkadia. Assyria. Babylonia. Sumeria. Am I missing something from my diet? Are sleep difficulties a sign of scurvy? People get all kinds of weird illnesses just cause they aren't aware of some random thing you need, and they happen to be picky about mushrooms or whatever. How did they even discover what you need in a varied diet? I think Lauren wrote her thesis on how civilizations found out what was safe to eat or something like that. Anthropologists are a weird bunch. I can probably hit a nerve with that, get her on one of her rants. 

I guess dietary advice wouldn't change that often if we really knew though. Or maybe there can't be a formula like that cause our bodies are too different. Like how some people have extra kidneys or can't break down certain proteins. Maybe I have something like that. A hidden third nipple that keeps me from sleeping. But then I would probably have had trouble sleeping my whole life.

I used to be able to just blink and then it was the next morning. I'll ask mom about what I ate as a kid. Maybe I can get some sleeping pills. I should book a doctor's appointment. Where is my phone? Ok that's like the first rule, don't put your phone next to where you sleep. I guess I didn't realize it was there, so maybe it doesn't count?

Fuck it's two thirty. I should just book the appointment tomorrow when I'm thinking clearly. I wonder. Would it be weird to see if Lauren is online? Who cares, I'll check. 

Active three hours ago. Obviously. God that's embarrassing. Why would I even check? It's not like I was gonna write her anyway. All our messages are about work. I sound like an idiot over text. 'Looking forward to our next shift then ;P.' Christ, I sound like an idiot. 

Some of her’s are a bit. I dunno. Flirty? And she heart-reacted to this one. Am I missing her signals? How would I even find out? I could just take a shot and ask if she wants to hang out sometime. Probably not now though, would be pretty obvious if she woke up to a message like that. Or not obvious but like. I guess I want it to be obvious, but in a charming way. Can it even be that if she doesn't like me, or will it always be awkward?

She's probably just being nice. I mean our shifts are always fun together, she probably just likes that I'm a good coworker. How am I ever gonna meet someone if not at work though?

Three o'clock. Uhg. I should put the phone away. I'll put it at the other end of the room, then I'll have to get up to stop the alarm. I'll move my charger as well then. Akkadia. Assyria - Spot on the ceiling. I can think about Lauren tomorrow. I wonder if she can sleep. Would it really be too awkward if I ask her on a date and she says no? I mean it's just a question. Or I guess it's more of a confession. I guess I could just cut and run if it goes wrong. I like the job though. And I don't wanna have to start looking for a new one right now.

If I just keep my eyes closed and my body completely still. Maybe I can count to five hundred. Focus on each number. One. Two. I Can't keep multiple strands of thought in my head, right? Four. Five. If she says no it'll ruin our friendship probably. Or if we go on a date and it doesn't go well. I guess that wouldn't be as bad. Like we both thought there might have been something, but then it's like oh well I guess we tried and both agree there isn't. Then we could probably fall back in our old groove and I wouldn't be weird for suggesting it.

Maybe I should call in sick tomorrow. If I'm too tired to function that's basically the same. And maybe I just need a proper day off where I do nothing, and my body will reset. I can always pick up a weekend shift to make up time, everyone is always trying to get rid of those anyway. 

Fuck why do my eyes want to be wide open? Ok. I'll text her and just ask if she wants to do something after work tomorrow. I could just ask her at work. No I should text her in the morning before work so she doesn't make any plans. I’ll do that. I promise if I just fall asleep now I'll text her in the morning.

Assyria. Akkadia. Babylonia. Sumeria. Spot on the ceiling. Those are the four large empires that existed throughout ancient Mesopotamia, up to 500 BCE. 

'Heyy Lauren XD I was just wondering if you wanted to go out after work tomorrow :) Let me know, and see you tomorrow!'

Is that weird? I should just send it and not overthink it. That makes it more natural. It should probably feel more casual though.

‘Heyy Lauren, I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out tomorrow :)’

What does hang out even mean? I should suggest an activity.

'Hey Lauren, sorry for the late night texting XD I was just wondering if you wanted to go out for coffees after work tomorrow, maybe catch a movie :) See you tomorrow!'

Is that really a good idea? Oh god I shouldn’t press send. Ok, it's sent. Shit. Can't do more now. Deep breath. Oh god. Ok. Phone away again. Whatever happens happens. Oh fuck I feel lightheaded. Deep breath. Heavy body.

Assyria. Akkadia. Ba..

Shit is that my alarm? I barely got four hours. I'm gonna be wasted at work today. Oh shit has she replied?

No new texts. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Ok she hasn't seen it yet. I can just delete it. There’s no way she’ll respond right? Work will be so fucking weird with that hanging in the air. There, deleted. She’d probably have been fine with it. If anything it was another thing to tease me about. Do I send it again? She can see that I deleted a message. I should just own up to it. It’ll seem so fucking desperate though. But she’ll know I texted something weird anyway, right? Ok. Here we go. Just own it and say fuck whatever happens.

'Hey Lauren, sorry for the late text, was just stressing myself out and wanted to ask you if you know anything about the deliveries we're getting in today'

That’s probably for the best. I don’t need any more things messing with my sleep at the moment.