Holiday Shopping

I open the closet door, looking to see what I’ve stashed there the last couple of months. Christmas shopping has become an activity I do all year around. The downside is, I don’t always remember whom I have bought for and what I got them. Complicating it more are the birthdays sprinkled through the months, and I foolishly store these gifts here too. I sit hard on the floor and pulled two bags out so I can examine them.

Opening the first one, I find my husband’s birthday gift and one for him for Christmas. The second bag holds two gifts for my mom and dad. When I see I have done little shopping this year, I frown. Christmas is getting closer.

I get up and stash my gifts back in the closet, get dressed, and grab my purse and car keys.

As my car makes its way to the store, I put on a Christmas playlist and sing along with the songs I have loved for years.

My first stop is the coffee shop. I can almost taste the peppermint mocha I always get during the holiday season. I smile when greeted at the order menu.

“Good morning, I’d like a large cup of peppermint mocha cappuccino, please.”

“This flavor is unavailable at this time of year, ma’am.”

Looking at the menu, I frown. I scan the list of special coffees offered today, but I don’t see the peppermint mocha. Why? This has always been available during the Christmas season. In fact, it’s usually available at Thanksgiving.

“You don’t have peppermint mocha?”

“No, ma’am.”

I order another coffee and drum my fingers on the steering wheel as I wait.

I get my coffee and take a sip. I head to the first store on my list. I toss my keys in my purse, grab my bags and coffee and sigh, dreading the crowded aisles and long check-out lines.

Moving through the automatic doors, I grab a shopping cart, deposit my coffee in the holder and dig through my purse for my Christmas shopping list.

As I roll my cart a few feet, the antenna in my head picks up the music playing, and I raise my eyebrows when I hear a current pop song. Why am I not hearing Bing, Mathis or Dean Martin? I stand frozen as my mind is trying to make sense of this.

I make my way to the women’s department, hoping to find my mother-in-law a new sweater and I see bathing suits out.

Boy! I’ve seen stores getting carried away, putting out things way ahead of up-coming seasons, but this is ridiculous.

As I continue to look around, I stop a salesclerk. “Can you tell me where the sweaters are?”

The young girl with blue streaks in her hair looks at me and squints her eyes.

“We don’t carry sweaters this time of year. Perhaps you’d like a light jacket instead.”

“No. I want a sweater. Thanks anyway. Merry Christmas.”

The girl’s eyes widen, and she takes a step back. “Um. Well, thanks.”

I pick my list back up, realizing I wouldn’t be able to scratch the sweater off it. The next item is a new string of Christmas lights. I need to replace one that is no longer working.

I push my cart to the area of the store where lights can be found and stopped short. There are no lights or Christmas decorations anywhere. I scratch my head, then lift my cup to my lips. I swallow as my mind goes a million miles an hour.

This store isn’t going to take in much during this busy shopping season. I wonder how they can stay in business.

I see a clerk busy at work, emptying boxes.

“Could you show me where you keep the outdoor strings of lights?”

“Sure. This way.”

I follow the clerk as he turns in the opposite direction than I was going and takes a left turn on an aisle I rarely walk through.

"Here they are," he said, sweeping his hand across the front of the shelves before returning to his work.

I scan both sides of the aisle, running my hand through my hair. There are lights here, but none of them are for Christmas.

I take another drink of my coffee and set it down a little too hard into the cupholder. A little of the hot liquid shoots out.

I grab a tissue from my pocket and wipe the top of my cup and lift my chin. This is really irritating. Why can’t I find what I need here?

I grab my list again, deciding to try and find one more thing. If they don’t have it, I’m leaving to go to a store that carries what I need.

I want some Christmas dishes to replace my old, chipped ones. I purchased the pattern at this store, and I knew I could get replacements.

I roll my empty cart to the kitchen area and gaze at the dishes on display.

They’re not here. They probably moved them to a different place. These stores are always moving things around.

I turn the corner as I reach the end of the aisle, my knuckles turning white as I grip the handle of the cart. Again, there are no Christmas dishes. Shaking my head, I feel the temperature rise in my cheeks.  

Wouldn’t you know! I need replacement dishes this year, but they're not available.

Looking down the aisle, I see an older man who was sweeping the floor. I march my cart toward him, ready to give him a piece of my mind.

“Excuse me. Where are all the Christmas dishes this store has every year?”

The man shook his broom and then set it against a shelf.

“Christmas dishes?”

“Yes. You know. The holiday that’s coming in a couple of weeks.”

The older man rubbed his chin. “Well, when we have them out, they will be in this area.”

“Why aren’t they now? Is this store trying to lose customers?”

The man glanced around as if looking for support.

“We don’t carry Christmas stuff in late April, but if you come back around November 1, we’ll have them out on the shelves.”

I search the old man’s face, sadness filling my heart that was holding irritation. This poor man. He’s losing his mind. I hope management is aware of this.

I shake my head, walk my cart back to the front of the store, and grab what’s left of my coffee.

Finding my car, I unlock it, throw my purse onto the passenger seat and stare ahead.

This makes little sense. Why would there be nothing in the store that reflects the season of Christmas?

I open my purse to toss my list in and see my calendar stuffed in there. As I flip through it, I find the date Thanksgiving was this year and counted days ahead toward Christmas.

There it is, right there. Yes, our calendar is difficult to follow because the dates of holidays don’t land on the same day each year.

I shake my head as I flipped through the entire calendar. I count the days in each month and by the time I get to the end, my mouth falls open.

This calendar only has 365 days. Everyone knows there are 465 days in a year, so I must have gotten a defective one.

I grab my phone and punch in the information. I stare in disbelief as I read that a year consists of only 365 days.

I drop my phone back into my purse and stare straight ahead.