Alone in this World

Introduction

My name is Suzie. And my life is pretty simple. I wake up at 5:00, do my makeup, do my hair, sometimes take a shower, get dressed, brush my teeth. You know. Normal 16 year old girl behavior. I'm also not really scared of anything. Well, except for my biggest phobia of all. It's going to sound silly, but let's just get it over with. I'm terrified of being alone. Not like being alone in my third story room, but much worse than that. Not having anyone. That's the kind of alone I'm talking about. No family, no friends, no people to help and guide me. Alone. Even just hearing the word alone gives me goosebumps all up through my body. I feel cold. When I hear that word I feel alone. It's the worst feeling to have. It feels like you're on a carnival roller coaster and you just want to get off, but you can't. You're stuck. Really other than that, I have no fears. I'm a pretty normal person. And I’d like to advise you that if you don’t like sad tales, or things that make you shiver, or even things that make you angry, I would like to warn you that you should not read this story. Because my story is pretty devastating. Well, to me at least.

Chapter one

Christmas is coming soon. I can’t wait! I love Christmas, because it’s all about not being alone. Christmas is my favorite holiday, my favorite time of year, and my favorite day. It’s the time I feel least alone, and I always need that.  I also just love the feeling of Christmas. It’s such a warm and happy feeling! It’s December 20, and so I only have a few days left! This morning, I woke up, and got ready for school. I opened my phone and saw a text message from my best friend Lyla.

L: ‘Are you coming to school today?’

S: ‘Yup’

L: ‘Well, you know, we’re gonna do secret santa over the weekend. Are you free tomorrow?’

S: ‘Yeah!’

L: ‘Nice’

I got into my car, which is a super cute white buggy, and I drove all the way to Maple Mount High School. I live in a very small town in Arkansas. It’s called ArrowVille. It’s the cutest little city! I don’t really know if it’s a city or a town, but I think it’s somewhere in between. When I walked into school today, I was instantly greeted by Lyla, and our two other friends, Mandy, and Brooke. We all talked about Secret Santa, and decided to schedule it for Saturday. We walked to my pale, faded red locker, where I pulled out my math binder for my first period.  I’ve decorated my locker with Polaroid photos of all of my friends, and added a marble whiteboard, with a gold basket with lip products, and a gold marble marker to match. Inside the hollow section, I’ve set up a variety of gold and white magnetic shelves, where I store all my binders, notebooks, and snacks. Finally, at 7:20, the first period bell rang. I knew the day would be great. I also couldn’t wait for Saturday!

Chapter two

I woke up on Saturday morning, ready for the day ahead! I had gotten Brooke for secret santa, so I got her some expensive skincare, and a lot of hot cocoa mix! I got up, and got ready, then started wrapping Brooke’s present. I then went downstairs, to find my mom and dad sitting on the couch waiting to greet me. Don’t get me wrong, I was happy to see them, but something weird was going on.

  “Suzie? We have something to tell you.” My mom finally spoke up. I knew something was going on. But what?

“What is it, Mom?” I said back shakily.

“Your dad and I just got a call.”

“We have to go on a work trip,” my dad started saying. He didn’t get very far before I interrupted him.

“It’s fine!” I exclaimed, “I’m used to you going on work trips! I’ll just stay with Aunt Judy!”

“Suzie,” Dad said, “It’s going to be during Christmas. You’ll have to stay here by yourself. Aunt Judy is out of town too. We didn’t mean to hurt you, but this trip is very important. Please forgive us. We got you many extra Christmas presents. We’re going to give them to you now!” 

Mom and Dad began saying all of these wonderful things. I was just too scared. I started to get goosebumps. I started to feel like I was on a roller coaster. I was going to be alone on Christmas. I started trying to take deep breaths but it didn’t work. Then, my mom and dad finally said something truly wonderful!

“You get to stay with Lyla!”

Of course! My best friend on Christmas! I got to be with her! 

“Never mind! It’s okay! Go on your work trip!” I said, “It’s only a few days, right? I’ll be fine! You guys should go, and then I’ll see you when you get home!”

My worried parents suddenly looked relieved. I would be okay. It wasn’t very long! Right?

Chapter three

After the amazing encounter with my parents, I was feeling happy as ever! Secret Santa would be tonight, and then I’d stay with Lyla, and have a Christmas sleepover! I was ecstatic! My parents trusted me to be alone at 16, but I just didn’t want to be alone. I was happy to not be alone. Besides, not being alone, would be the cherry on top for this Christmas break! Secret Santa, here I come!

At 3:00 sharp, my parents hugged me goodbye. I was sad, but how could I be sad when I have so many things to look forward to!? I gave them both huge hugs, so huge I swear I almost hugged the air out of them. Then, my mom gave me a small gift. It was a locket. It had a picture of me, Mom, and Dad in it. This gift was what squeezed all the air out of me. It was beautiful. I hugged my parents once more, and finally let them set off on their adventure. Then, I drove over to Lyla’s house.

When I finally got to her house, I was more than ecstatic. I was jubilant! I could not wait! I set all of my stuff up in her room, including a dark, navy blue mattress, that somehow felt fluffy. I layed out my blanket, and put my light, baby pink sheets on the mattress. After I was all set up, our friends started arriving, and we ate a delicious dinner of mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, stuffing, and delicious buttered beef. It was hearty, and delicious. I wasn’t even thinking about my parents! Then, we made rich, steamy hot chocolate that was so warm, it made me feel happy inside. We were just about to start opening presents, when Lyla’s mother came into the room, looking weary.

“Suzie, I have something to tell you. I’m awfully sorry.”

What was going on?

“Your parents have tragically passed away in a plane accident. It happened just a few hours ago, and people just discovered that the plane had a failing engine, and crashed into the north Atlantic ocean.”

Chapter Four

“Suzie? Are you okay?”

I was speechless. How was I going to live like this? How would Christmas be? I would have Lyla, but then where would I live? No where. My worst nightmares had all come to life. The worst part about it is that I’d be alone for the rest of my life. No parents. At least I still had my friends.

All of Christmas I spent a long time getting over the accident, and mourning. I went to my parents' funeral, and it was hard. I wish I could tell you that I didn’t cry very much, but that would be probably the biggest lie I’d ever tell. I also wish I could tell myself that everything would be okay. But that lie would be even bigger than saying that I didn’t cry. That lie would be so big, that I could never reverse it. I would never be the same. And you know what? I never would reverse it. Because I told myself that lie. Over and over again I told myself that lie. So much so that I was able to bottle up my feelings. And although I got mostly over it, I was never the same again.

Chapter Five

The next day, I woke up sad. I was in my house, but I knew that I would be alone there for a long time. Or, at least until my Aunt Judy could sell the house. Because on New Year’s Eve I had to be just fine. On New Year’s Eve the house will be sold, and new people would be moving into it. I’d have little to no time at all left in it, and then I’d leave. Just like that. And I’d never step foot in the house again. And the house will be occupied, just not by me. And although the house won’t be alone, I knew I’d be. 

After waking up, or I guess managing to get myself out of bed an hour and a half later, I trod through my house, down the winding path of stairs from my third story room, where I didn’t like sleeping anymore, down the straight set of stairs from the second story, and down to my parents bedroom, that was now vacant. No one sleeping there. No more of my dad reading from the pile of old newspapers right on his nightstand on his side of the bed, and him adding a new one everyday, (Even though no one reads newspapers anymore). No one touching the makeup on the vanity by my mom’s side of the bed, although there was still some setting powder that had spilled on the mirror. No more of my mom walking out of the room, my dad still sleeping, to find me sitting on the couch, and me grabbing her and hugging her with my whole heart. No more of anyone being there. And at this moment, on December 28, I knew that I wouldn’t be okay. I knew that nothing would ever be the same, and my sorrow and grief would never be cured, but I also knew that I had to bottle it up. I knew that if I let it out, that it would make everything that has happened feel so much worse. So I couldn’t let it out. And although I wasn’t okay, I knew that I had to be. And that’s just what it was. So the best thing I could do was tell myself I was okay. But I really wasn’t okay.

Chapter Six

It was December 30, and I was still bottling up my feelings. My Aunt Judy had come to the house, and stayed at night, but not in my parents old bedroom. At the time I thought that it was because she thought their ghosts were in it, or something like that. But looking back, I know that it was because she felt as though it would be disrespectful to sleep in their old bed, touch their old things, and act as though everything were okay.

On the night of December 29, I had a dream. It wasn’t like an ordinary dream. My mother and Father came to me. I figured that I was just dreaming about it, but it wasn’t just a dream. My parents were trying to talk to me. They told me that I needed to let out my emotions, and that everything would be okay. Then, they hugged all the air out of me. It seemed odd, as though I usually am the one who hugs the air out of them. They hugged me, and looked at me. I was speechless. My eyes began to water, and I had so much tender emotion. I hugged them back, knowing that however hard I hugged them it would be okay. Then, as my mother and father were walking away, my mother, in her soft, and tender voice whispered in my ear,

“You can have us in your pocket.”

And then? Well, then she walked away. Tears in her eyes. And after this encounter, usually, I usually couldn’t be sure, but I was sure. Everything would be okay.

Chapter Seven

On December 31, I had no more bottled emotion. I had let it all out. I felt okay. I went to a place to have my locket permanently attached to my body. I knew that my mom was looking down at me, and was proud. And that gave me all the happiness I needed.

My house was empty. Tan, fat, filled to the rim boxes filled all of the rooms around me and Aunt Judy. We had no moving van, but Judy had a heck of a van anyway, so we started moving the boxes to her house. Lyla, Mandy, and Brooke all came over in their cars, and helped us. We all filled up their cars, and as much as we could fit in my tiny buggy. Before we knew it, all the moving had really passed the day. It was already 10:00. We had eaten dinner together, and had been moving all day. Although I was still sad about moving, at least I wasn’t moving out of state. I was moving to a small rambler across town, so it wasn’t too far. I said goodbye to my friends, and they left. Then, it was time to say goodbye to my house.

Chapter Eight; The final chapter

I walked into my empty house. I thought I would be balling, and I was crying, but not as much as I expected to be. I knew everything would be okay. My mom would watch over me, and take care of me. I said goodbye to my house, and climbed into my white buggy. I looked out the window of the shining house that I once lived in with my family. Suddenly, the clock struck 12:00. Happy New Year.