Until I see her again.....

What is love, If not grief, persevering....... for grief is the price we pay for love. The pain I feel is a direct result of how much I loved him, and I continue to love him. I hope that if you have ever loved a pet the way I loved my Jake, that you will relate to this story and that it will bring you peace. I spent 15 years with Jake, and his loss has caused me profound pain. I find solace in writing, and in wondering what he would say to me if we were to meet again. Jake, I love you I miss you forever, I hope you know how important you are you were, and you will be. 15 years is not enough, but I will cherish those years forever.

It was December of 2009, and I was jumping up and down on my cage, I was hoping that someone would take me away from here.

I was cold I was hungry. And then she walked in. She looked at and picked me up and told the man that was with her that she wanted me, that she needed me, she pressed me against her face, and she kissed me, she held me.

He said yes, and she put me in her hoodie pocket, paid for me and left the store. I peed on her and she smiled, and gave me kisses, that was the beginning of me never being able to do any wrong, because she loved me , she loved me and I knew it because she bought Ruth's Chris steak on my birthday, because she wrote songs for me, because she let me sleep in the bed and under the covers, because she looked at me and saw me.

I saw her go through life, I saw her leave him, the one who didnt love her the way she deserved, the one who made her feel less than, I saw her cry herself to sleep, I saw her wins and her losses, I witnessed her happiest days and her biggest disappointments, I was always there. When she needed me, I was there, and I felt like I owed it to her, after all she had given me the best life, full of love, attention, affection and adventure. I wanted it to last forever, but they say that Dogs live less time than humans, because it takes us less time to learn the important lessons. I knew this:

That there was someone whose world revolved around me, and who made me feel like the most special bundle of fur that ever existed. I was hers and she was mine, and through it all It was us against the world.

It was the kind of love that was all encompassing. The type of closeness that only existed in love stories. I loved her and she loved me, and for 15 years we were each other's worlds.

She talked about me to everyone she met, and every day I waited for her to come home, to see me, to hug me, to love me. I knew she loved me because she always looked for me, and she always made sure I was ok. If I was cold, she put a blanket over me, if I was hungry, she fed me, if I needed her, she was there, I knew she loved me and God did I love her.

9 years into our love story, someone new came along, someone good, someone kind, someone unlike anyone else she had ever loved. He was loving and he took me in as if I was his all along. She was happy, she was safe, she still needed me and loved me without measure, but she was ok, she was finally ok.

15 years into a love like a mother and son, a pair of best friends, two beings who loved each other without measure, I knew it was my time to go, and I did not want to go, I knew she would never put me down, I knew she would drain her savings to save me, to keep me , to love me. But I was tired, and I knew that if I left, her heart would shatter, but there would be someone there to help pick up the pieces. Her life was finally whole.

April 9, 2024, the day I left it was on my own terms, and she was not there, I wanted to spare her the pain although I longed for her, and I know it breaks her heart to know that. I had him to hold my paw and walk me to the other side; I had him to break the news to her, he was terrified, he knew she would be broken, but he had to tell her, she would never forgive him if he didn't.

I heard her screams and cries into heaven; I heard her heart break for me. I still hear her screams, and I still feel her call for me, I wish I could take her pain away , and I know it is selfish but It makes me happy when I know she has not forgotten me, when I know that she still misses me, and holds my ashes close, sleeps with them, talks to them as if I was in there still, and I am , I listen. And I spend my days waiting for her to see me again. I miss her, I love her, I am with her. I hope she knows this:

I know how much you loved me, I know how much I loved you. You are everything to me and I am everything to you.

I will be here waiting, Until I see her again.

I hope you enjoyed this story, taken from my heart and a way to deal with the emotions that come with loss. Please leave a comment if you liked it or want to share your own pet story! I miss Jake every day, but I know he is in heaven running around smelling everything and asking for treats.