The Three Little Pigs 2.0: The True Story

THE THREE LITTLE PIGS 2.0: THE TRUE STORY

“Please call your next witness, Mr. Heller.”

“The prosecution calls Leonard Bacon.”

I watched as Bacon approached the witness stand and was sworn in. On the surface, things looked a little dicey for me and my continued freedom. My run-ins with the Bacon family had been all over the internet for months now. And, in the court of popular opinion, I was a monster.

The prosecutor, Damien Heller, got to his feet, and walked towards the witness stand.

“Good morning, Mr. Bacon, and welcome.”

“Good morning,” replied Bacon, looking directly at me, a smug smirk on his face.

Heller smiled gently at Bacon, a concerned look on his face. “I realize that this is not an easy conversation, but can you explain to the jury why you are here in this courtroom today?”

Bacon looked at the jury, and smiled wanly. Gone was the smugness, replaced by sorrow. I hadn’t realized that he was such a consummate actor. “I am here today to get justice for my two brothers, Henry and Douglas.”

Heller glanced at the jury before continuing. “What do you mean by ‘justice,’ Mr. Bacon?”

His face transformed again, this time hatred radiated off of hm. He pointed directly at me. “That animal killed my two brothers in cold blood!”

A rumble went through the courtroom.

“Order!” admonished Judge Lawlor, banging her gavel down. “If there are any more outbursts, I will clear this courtroom!”

I knew that Judge Justine Lawlor was a no-nonsense jurist who ruled her courtroom with an iron fist. I had no doubt she would turf all the spectators and press assembled out of her courtroom if they dared interrupt the proceedings again. The courtroom grew quiet.

She turned to look at Heller. “Please continue.” She said.

“Let the record show that Mr. Bacon pointed to the defendant, Conan Wolfe.”

“So noted,” said the judge.

“Now, Mr. Bacon, why do you think Mr. Wolfe murdered your brothers?”

Bacon’s face scrunched up in anger. “I was there when it happened.”

A quiet murmur from the spectators. The judge glared towards the gallery. The return to silence was almost immediate.

“Can you tell the jury what exactly happened leading up to the day you last saw your brothers?”

Bacon took a deep breath. “In the beginning, my brothers and I all lived in the main house on our property next door to Wolfe’s property. It was the house that we all grew up in. When our parents passed, we all inherited equally. But, Henry and Douglas each wanted to build their own homes on the land.” He turned to look at the Judge Lawlor. “We’re contractors … or we were until he murdered my brothers.” He nodded his chin in my direction.  

My lawyer, Alexa Gallagher jumped to her feet. “Objection, your Honour!”

“Sustained.” The judge looked at Bacon. “Please confine your testimony to facts already in evidence, Mr. Bacon.” 

Heller spoke up. “We apologize, Your Honour.” He nodded his head once in the judge’s direction, then turned to address Bacon.

“And, did you know Mr. Wolfe before the attack?”

“Yes. He’s our neighbour.”

“Were you friendly with Mr. Wolfe?”

Bacon shook his head no. “No, not really. We’d nod good morning, when we saw him, but nothing more. We had nothing in common. Our people didn’t get along with his type.”

“Can you explain how your relationship changed from cordial to confrontational?”

“Well,” said Bacon. “We were building Henry’s house. We’d been at it for a couple of weeks, and it was almost finished. Then, one morning we arrived on the worksite, and the entire home was destroyed.”

“What did you do when you arrived on site and saw the damage.”

“I confronted Wolfe, of course! We knew he was behind the damage. He said that we had no right to build our house where we did.”

“Why was that?”

“He said that we were on his property.”

“Were you?”

“No way! That our land! It’s been in the family for generatons”

“Then what happened after Henry’s house was destroyed?”

“Well, we decided to build Douglas’s house—we’d already had the building materials delivered to the site.  But this time we were going to add security, you know, so that nothing would happen to the building.”

I almost snorted out loud. The bacon brothers’ idea of security was a dog — a mutt they actually chained to a tree wth a chain that wasn’t even long enough to reach the house. That wasn’t security, that was someone’s pet. I let him go. He lives with me now.

“And what happened, then?”

“Our security was compromised.”

“Can you explain?”

“The dog that we were using, disappeared.” He paused and glared at me. “I think he killed it!”

My lawyer shot to her feet. “Objection, Your Honour!”

Judge Lawlor looked at the witness. “Mr. Bacon, I will not remind you again to stick to the facts.” She turned to look at the jury. “The jury will disregard the witness’s last statement.”

Heller looked at Bacon. “After your security was tampered with, what happened next?”

“Well, we were almost finished Douglas’s build, and it happened again—the house was destroyed. Just like Henry’s house.”

“And, did you and your brothers confront Mr. Wolfe when you discovered the destruction?”

“We sure as hell did!”

There will be no swearing in my courtroom, Mr. Bacon."

"Sorry, Your Honour. Uh, we sure as heck did confront Wolfe."

“And what did he say?”

Bacon looked directly at me. “He said that he had warned us, but we didn’t listen, so his destroying the houses was our own fault.” He glared at me from the witness stand.

“Then what happened?” asked Heller.

“He attacked us!” said Bacon, as he continued to glare at me. “I ran into the house, but Henry and Douglas never made it.” He shook his head. “I never saw them again.”

“Nothing further, Your Honour.”

The judge turned to my lawyer. “Ms. Gallagher, your witness.

Alexa Gallagher is the best lawyer I’ve ever seen. She’s the embodiment of calm and professionalism. She stood and strode confidently to the witness box.

“Good morning, Mr. Bacon.”

He glared at her. “Is it?” he snarled.

Alexa took a deep breath, and looked at Leonard Bacon. “I’ll ask the questions, Mr. Bacon, if you don’t mind.” She paused. “Now, you said that you saw Mr. Wolfe murder your brothers. Is that correct?”

“Yes.”

“What exactly did you see?”

“Wolfe started yelling at us. Calling us names. He had a weapon. He started moving towards us. He’s a big guy. I didn’t want to get into it with him, so I ran back to my house. I thought Dougie and Henry were right behind me, but they weren’t.” He narrowed his eyes at Alexa. “Your client murdered my brothers.”

Alexa turned to the judge. “Your Honour?”

“Mr. Bacon,” she said.

“Sorry,” said Bacon.

Alexa continued. “Did you actually see Mr. Wolfe harm Henry and Douglas?’

“No. But they never made it into the house. What else could have happened?”

The judge spoke up. “Mr. Bacon, I will remnd you to answer the questions, not ask the questions.”

“Sorry, Your Honour, “ he said.

Alexa fixed her gaze on Bacon. “So, you never actually saw Mr. Wolfe harm your brothers?”

Pause.

“Answer the question, Mr. Wolfe,” the judge admonished.

“No. But—”

“Instead of taking a stand with your brothers, you fled into your home and locked the door? Is that right?”

“Yes. But—”

She handed him a sheet of paper.

“This a copy of the forensics report. Can you read the highlighted passage, please.”

Bacon looked down at the paper in his hand. “No blood was found at the scene.”

She raised her eyebrows. “No blood found at the scent, but you insist that my client killed your brothers?”

“I—”

“Nothing further.”

“You may step down,” saidJudge Lawlor.

Bacon glared at me as he walked past the defence table.

The prosecution rested its case.

“Call your first witness, Ms. Gallagher,” said Judge Lawlor.

“The defence calls Conan Wolfe.”

A murmur went through the courtroom. It’s highly unusual for a

defendant to testify in their own case. When I told Alexa that I wanted to testify, she had explained to me that once I was on the stand, it was open season. The prosecutor could ask me anything, and I would have to answer truthfully. But I had insisted on testifying. I had nothing to hide, and a lot to say. I rose and walked to the witness stand, and was sworn in.

Alexa walked toward me, a smile on her face.

“Well, Mr. Wolfe, this is pretty unusual—a defendant testifying. Can you tell the jury why you decided that this was in your best interest?”

I took a deep breath. “I have nothing to hide. I did not kill Henry and Douglas Bacon.”

“But Mr. Bacon has stated, under oath, that you destroyed the homes that they were building. Then you attacked them.”

I shook my head. “First off, they were not buildings.. The first one was a pile of straw. I just blew it back over to their side of the boundary with my leaf blower. And Douglas’s house was a bunch of sticks and twigs, again piled on my property. I blew them back on their property as well.”

Alexa looked to the jury, then back to me, nodding slowly. “So, Mr. Bacon’s contention that they were building houses was not true?”

“No,” I said. “They were just piles of straw and twigs.”

Alexa turned to the judge. “Your Honour, the defence would like to submit two video clips provided by Mr. Wolfe, substantiating his recollection of the incidents.”

Heller jumped to his feet. “Objection, Your Honour! We were not made aware of the existence of these videos!”

Alexa looked at the judge. “Mr. Bacon opened the door to this line of inquiry by stating that he and his brothers were building homes for Henry and Douglas, and that Mr. Wolfe destroyed those buildings.”

Judge Lawlor looked from Alexa to Heller. “I’ll allow it.”

Alexa had cued up the videos before court in anticipation of Bacon making the exact accusations that he had. She pushed play, and an image appeared on the screen.

“Mr. Wolfe, can you explain to the jury what we are seeing.”

“This is from my trail cam attached to a tree close to the property line.”

Alexa paused the video. “Why do you have a trail cam positioned there?”

“Because the Bacons are always on my property.  I need the camera to make sure that they don’t damage my property or take anything that doesn’t belong to them.”

The video continued. “This is the straw house,” I said. “You can see me looking around it. There is no structure there, just a pile of loose straw. So I leave and come back with my leaf blower and blow it back on to their property.”

The screen went black, then a similar scene appeared, only this time, there was a mound of sticks instead of straw in the frame.

“This was a couple of days later. I’m looking at the stick house—it’s just a pile of small twigs and branches. Again, not a house. So I go to get my blower again. You can see me blowing the smaller branches back onto to their land, then throwing the larger pieces back across the property boundary.”

Alexa stopped the video. “Mr. Bacon contends that he and his brothers were building on their property, not yours. How do you know where the property line is?”

“Because this is not the first time that the Bacons have tried to claim my land as their own. So I had a survey done, and had the lot line stakes replaced. I have video of Leonard Bacon removing the two that delineate our two properties.  I sent a copy of the lot boundaries to the Bacons by registered mail, letting them know that they were indeed trespassing on my property. I plan to build a fence next spring.”

Alexa nodded.  

“Now, Mr. Bacon testified that you attacked the three Bacon Brothers with a weapon, then murdered Henry and Douglas.”

“Not true,” I said. “If you continue the video, you will see what actually happened.”

“Objection!” shouted Heller.

“Overruled,” said Judge Lawlor.

Alexa pushed play.

“You can see the three Bacons running up yelling at me. I try to ignore them, but they cross over into my lot and start coming towards me. You can see that Douglas has a hatchet in his hand, and Leonard has a rake. So, to prevent them from attacking me, I turned on the leaf blower. You can see Leonard drop the rake and run back to his house. Henry and Douglas just stop and look at me, then run away as well.”

Alexa paused the video.

“But that doesn’t really show that you didn’t go after the brothers and murder them, does it?”

“No,” I start. “But because of the allegations against me, I realized that I needed to find them to exonerate myself. I got to thinking about where they could be. So, I went looking for them.”

“Your Honour!” says Heller.

“Overruled, Mr. Heller.” She turned to look at me. “Continue, Mr. Wolfe,” prompted the judge.

“Well, I knew that the Bacons hung out at the Waltzing-Ham Social Club.”

“How do you know that, Mr. Wolfe?” asked Alexa.

“Well, I sometimes do security at the club. I’ve seen Leonard and his brothers there lots of times. So I asked one of the bartenders to let me know if any of the Bacons showed up. Yesterday, I got a call that not only was Leonard there, but Henry and Douglas, as well.”

A murmur went through the gallery.

“Objection, Your Honour! Hearsay!”

Alexa turned to the judge. “Four more questions, and I will be able to prove my point, Your Honour.”

“Four questions, Ms. Gallagher.”

“Thank you, Your Honour.” She back to face me. “What di`d you do when you received the call stating that the Bacon brothers were in the Waltzing-Ham Social Club?”

“I went down to see for myself. It’s a private club, so I waited outside until they left. Leonard left first, then Henry and Douglas.”

“And, what, if anything, did you say to them?”

“Nothing.”

“To reiterate, you said nothing to the two brothers who you were accused of murderng?”

“Exactly. Before I could say anything, they started talking and apologizing for all the trouble that they caused me. They said it was all Leonard’s idea to pretend that they were dead so that they could frame me for murder. They said he’d told them that they’d be able to take over my land once I was in prison, and they’d be able to live in my house, and wouldn’t have to build their own homes."

Alexa turned and nodded at her assistant, who left the courtroom only to return in a few seconds wth the two missing Bacon brothers, very much alive. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Leonard’s mouth drop open in surprise.  

“Can you identify the two men my assistant has just entered the courtroom with?”

“Yes. Henry Bacon and Douglas Bacon.”

The courtroom erupted. The press rushed towards the door, phones in hand.

“You assholes!” screamed Leonard Bacon at his brothers. “You’ve ruined everything!”

He lunged towards them. The bailiffs rushed towards him, seizing him.

“Remove that man!” shouted the judge.

The chaos in the courtroom continued.

“Order!” yelled Judge Lawlor. “Order!” She banged her gavel over and over until the hubbub died down. She turned to the prosecutor.

“Mr Heller, do you have anything to say to the court?” 

He sat with his head in his hands. He looked up at Judge Lawlor.  “The prosecution wishes to withdraw the charges against Mr. Wolfe.”

“So granted.” Judge Lawlor banged her gavel.  Then she turned to look at me.  “All charges against you are dismissed with prejudice, Mr. Wolfe. You are free to go. Wth the court’s apologies.” She looked around the courtroom. “Court dismissed.”

I got up, and walked over to the defence table. Alexa came up and gave me a big hug.

“Thank you,” I said.

She smiled and said, “you did all the heavy lifting—your videos, your idea about the social club, following the brothers. Without all of your hard work, I’m not sure we would have prevailed. 

I smiled, shook her hand, then turned and walked out of the courtroom a free man.