Echoes of Elegance: A Night Shattered; A Story Preserved

Submitted into Contest #280 in response to: Center your story around a character who overhears others talking about them.... view prompt

8 comments

Drama Suspense

This story contains sensitive content

(Trigger Warning: This story contains depictions of gun violence, sudden chaos, and themes of fear and survival that may be distressing to some readers. Discretion is advised.)

The grand ballroom was alive with elegance and purpose. Tables draped in white satin shimmered under the chandeliers, and the sweet scent of hibiscus filled the air. Music from violins and cellos weaved through the conversations, creating an atmosphere of beauty and refinement. The event was a fundraising ball for children who communicated through art instead of words—dancers, musicians, and writers who found their voices through creativity.

Nadine sat at a small table on the edge of the room, her journal and quill pen her only companions. At 40, she still struggled to find her voice. Years of challenges; most recently her edentulism and new fake pearly whites; had left her self-conscious about speaking aloud. Writing had always been her refuge, and tonight, she hoped to capture the essence of the ball for her article.

The ambiance encouraged her, giving her a temporary escape from the weight of personal struggles. The soft glow of the chandeliers mirrored the lightness she sought to feel, even as she observed every detail with a meticulous eye for her story. Her quill hovered over the page, recording the vibrancy of the room, the elegant gowns, the sweet laughter, and the cause that had brought them all together: supporting children who found their voices through artistic expression.

A server brought her a small dish of rice pudding, its aroma comforting in its simplicity. Nadine hesitated, then took a small bite. The texture was still challenging with her fake teeth, but she forced herself to enjoy it. Don’t be rude to the hosts, she reminded herself, grateful for their kindness and hospitality.

From her seat, Nadine’s gaze fell on Laura, who stood out among the crowd as she swept across the dance floor. Her red gown sparkled under the chandeliers, its form-fitting elegance accentuating her every graceful move. Her caramel curls cascaded over her shoulders as she twirled, laughing with her partner in an effortless display of charm and poise. Laura was magnetic, the kind of woman who commanded attention without asking for it.

Nadine couldn’t help but admire her. Despite her own insecurities, she waved at Laura when their eyes briefly met. Nadine offered a bright smile, though it felt unnatural, her fake pearly whites making her mouth ache. The smile didn’t come easily, but it was genuine in its intent. Laura responded with a small, dismissive wave before turning back to her partner.

Nadine tucked a strand of her pixie-cut hair behind her ear, feeling a pang of self-consciousness. Her short hairstyle, chosen for practicality, felt plain compared to Laura’s glamorous curls. But she reminded herself why she was here: not to compare herself to others but to write, to observe, and to celebrate the creativity of the evening.

As Nadine scribbled observations into her journal, Laura’s voice carried over from a nearby table.

“I think women should,” Laura began, pausing dramatically, “spend more effort on their appearances. Be tan, be fit, be proportionally framed, have their fingernails and toenails manicured and painted to perfection. And, honestly, long hair is essential—flipping it over your shoulder can be so empowering. None of this plain Jane nonsense.”

Laughter rippled through Laura’s companions, and Nadine froze, her quill hovering above the paper. Her pixie-cut hair, unpolished nails, and modest white dress suddenly felt like glaring flaws under the chandeliers’ glow. Laura’s caramel curls and perfectly fitted red gown seemed to mock Nadine without words.

Nadine’s thoughts churned. Is that what defines a woman? Her heart sank as she considered how many women like herself had been dismissed as “plain” or “invisible.” Laura’s words echoed the judgment Nadine had faced her entire life.

Anger bubbled within her. She jotted a note: Laura is beautiful, but her heart is ugly. The harsh words stared back at her, heavy with bitterness. She crossed them out and rewrote:

Laura is beautiful, but her heart is misunderstood. Beauty is fleeting, but kindness is everlasting. A beautiful face may capture attention, but a kind heart will capture souls.

Nadine sighed, tension easing slightly. If she wanted the world to be kinder, she needed to start with herself.

Yet, Laura’s words stayed with her, gnawing at her confidence. Her fingers tightened around her quill as she glanced at the ornate ballroom. The banners promoting arts for autistic children, the silent auction items, and the stage where young performers had earlier displayed their talents spoke to something greater than appearances. What truly mattered, Nadine thought, wasn’t in the mirror but in what we create and how we inspire others.

The violins’ melodies abruptly stopped, replaced by a deafening bang. A silver bullet whizzed past Nadine’s ear, so close she could feel its heat. Screams erupted as tables overturned, chairs screeched across the floor, and glass shattered. Nadine’s senses were overwhelmed by the alarming noises. Everyone around her was yelling, their voices raw with terror, but Nadine stayed silent. Her mouth ached too much to yell, her fake pearly whites pressing painfully against her gums.

Instinctively, she dove under her table, using her legs to push the chair out from under her. She pulled it back, its metal frame now a makeshift shield. The white satin tablecloth draped around her like a fragile barrier against the chaos.

The once-elegant room had transformed into a battlefield. The violins lay abandoned, their strings trembling in silence. The aroma of hibiscus was replaced by the acrid tang of fear. Nadine clutched her journal tightly, the quill still in her trembling hand. Thoughts raced through her mind: Why here? Why now?

From her hiding spot, Nadine spotted Laura beneath a neighboring table. The confident, glamorous woman was now a pale, trembling figure, clutching chair legs as her red gown tangled around her. For a fleeting moment, Nadine felt anger resurface. Laura’s earlier words rang in her ears: “Women who don’t take care of themselves just aren’t trying.” Now here Laura was, crumpled like the fabric she’d so proudly displayed.

Nadine’s fingers curled into a fist. The thought of flipping Laura off flashed through her mind, but she stopped herself. “No, don’t,” she whispered under her breath. This isn’t who I am.

She forced her breathing to steady. Her strength wasn’t in gestures of defiance, but rather, it was in her words. Focus, Nadine. Write. That’s how you speak.

The chaos began to subside as security guards stormed in, shouting commands to evacuate. Nadine stayed frozen until a firefighter crouched beside her. Gently lifting the chair from her frame, he said, “It’s safe now.”

Nadine nodded, clutching her journal as he guided her toward the exit. Outside, the cool night air hit her like a wave, grounding her. She sank onto the curb, the journal pressed against her chest. Tears spilled down her cheeks. Those tears were not for herself, but for the children whose dreams had been shattered, for the beauty that had been silenced by violence.

Her mind wandered back to the performers who had danced and played their instruments with such joy earlier that evening. They deserve a world where their voices can be heard, she thought. Where their creativity isn’t overshadowed by fear.

The next day, Nadine submitted her article. It didn’t just capture the beauty of the ball; it called out the importance of looking beyond appearances, of valuing substance over superficiality. She highlighted the children’s art, the musicians’ performances, and the unspoken stories woven into the event.

In the final paragraph, she wrote:

We are more than what we wear, more than how we look. Last night, I saw true beauty. Beauty is not in perfect hair or painted nails, but in the courage of children who dared to share their voices through art. That’s the kind of beauty we should celebrate.

For the first time, Nadine felt her words had power. Laura’s voice may have been loud, but Nadine’s voice was true.

December 14, 2024 03:18

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8 comments

Anthony D
17:14 Dec 15, 2024

I loved this story it truly captures the “mask” of sorts everyone wears to look better while in fact being just as scared as everyone else As Laura who cowered in fear under the table although just minutes earlier she was confident I liked that you italicized parts that really made a strong point

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22:13 Dec 15, 2024

Thank you for reading! I find it interesting how each reader can have a different viewpoint. I didn’t even think about a “mask” until I read your comment! Thanks for reading and sharing!

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Trudy Jas
21:33 Dec 18, 2024

Hi, Critique Circle matched us up. This was an interesting story. The reason for the ball was clearly stated and the socialite's thoughtless, callous remarks were the clearly in response to the prompt. However, the violence seemed gratuitous. Neither the reason, nor the resolution was addressed.

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23:14 Dec 18, 2024

Hi Trudy, Thank you for your thoughtful critique and for taking the time to read my story! I truly appreciate your kind words about the ball’s purpose and how Laura’s thoughtless remarks tied into the prompt. You’re absolutely right about the violence scene feeling unresolved. I was more focused on showcasing Nadine’s internal journey: her quiet strength, insecurities, and ultimate resolve, than addressing the motive or resolution of the chaos. I can see now how the scene, without clear context, may feel abrupt and distract from the story’...

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Shirley Medhurst
17:40 Dec 18, 2024

Brilliant tale !!! When Laura spouts her drivel: “…. spend more effort on their appearances. Be tan, be fit, be proportionally framed, have their fingernails and toenails manicured and painted to perfection…” it made me want to vomit! - EXACTLY the sort of woman I DESPISE. As events unfold, we then see true beauty - in Nadine. as she “called out the importance of looking beyond appearances, of valuing substance over superficiality”. I was so pleased to see she had the last laugh via her article… Bravo, Nadine 👍👍👍

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19:12 Dec 18, 2024

Hi Shirley! Thank you for reading! We appreciate your feedback! As someone who has personally experienced the forms of disrespectfulness, rudeness, and isolation because I have not had those exact appearances Laura did, I had to share those. By sharing our stories, we can help others to see beauty is from within and should be valued more than the superficial appearances because they are fake. Being bullied by others (family, friends, partners, and peers like Laura) has helped me form stories that challenge others to look forward and b...

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Shirley Medhurst
20:21 Dec 18, 2024

Goodness!!!! Let’s form an “Anti-Laura” party 🤣🥰 I'll be with you all the way…

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21:25 Dec 18, 2024

Haha, that seems bittersweet!

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