It's never easy to say goodbye

Approximately 2 years ago a good friend had been diagnosed with Cancer. It was a terminal Cancer and he was only given a prognosis of 10 months or less to live. Not knowing for certain when his last day here on earth would be, he and I decided we needed to be able to spend, share, make, and enjoy the time together. Because we all know it's not easy to say goodbye. I went to his home daily, brought dinner either homemade or fast food his choice, talked to each other and got to know him more. We laughed, cried, shared many words of advice about everything, watched TV programs Sports mainly, Food Network, and Twilight Zone. Some of his friends and relatives along with his colleagues from work made sporadic visits and calls to see the status of him daily. He had lot of friends but some didn't know how to respond to what was happening to him. The times we spent together were meaningful and now treasured. I wish I had more time with him. Several times during my stay overs, his request so he wasn't alone were scary. There were many nights that I thought it was his last, but he seemed to be able to endure his treatments and illness to a point. I know he was uncomfortable and in pain, but I couldn't do much for him except reassure him that he was going to be alright. At nights, I had a make shift bed on the floor next to his bed, so that if he needed me or anything I would be able to help him. I would wake up several times a night if he would stir or call me, needed water or anything. Many sleepless nights, but well worth it. He and I felt like I was his private nurse, and he called me his angel. After a few Chemo treatments we were told The Cancer was progressively getting worse, and spreading to his organs, so we knew his time was being cut short, and I knew sooner than later it would be that time, to say goodbye. Months went by fast, and as we approached the seventh month of his illness, he got worse and contracted a infection. I took him to the hospital and the doctor said it was that time, to say goodbye, he only had one week to live. His family came everyday to visit him. As the week went on he grew weaker and sicker and it was very evident that his illness had consumed him. We all stayed at his bedside and tried to make him comfortable and laugh. He had a wonderful personality and always had a smile on his face. As the nurses would trickle in and out of his hospital room he would greet them and say hello and ask how they were doing, he was such a genuine person everyone loved him, and his personality. He always made a person feel special and like they were his friends. We talked about when he might not be here, which was never easy but we knew it was inevitable we discussed a myriad of subjects and scenarios that wouldn't normally be a part of our conversations, but now were. He always had something profound to say and I kind of would giggle and give my two cents. He always said he loved hearing my voice even though I talked a lot. We used to time how long I could go without talking, I think four minutes was tops. We would just laugh. He was an excellent listener and would only say a few words. He was never judgmental towards me or anyone, that's what made him so unique and easygoing. One would never tire of talking or visiting him. He worked for the local Post office for over 30 years, and his customers felt the same way about him. They said he was like family, he enjoyed them and they enjoyed him more. He always had a kind word or way with people. It was very difficult for the customers to say goodbye also. They made comments about him like, we won't ever have a mailman like him, the mail won't be delivered correct, and we will never forget him. Those compliments mean a great deal and I know they had a difficult time saying goodbye too at his funeral. When the time came I reflect that he was my best friend for my life, and we had to say goodbye, it wasn't easy but had to be done. This was the most difficult things I would ever do in my life. If I could just call him or text him one more time it would be wonderful, but I know he wouldn't be able to reply, but it would make me feel like he's still here. But reality is that he is not here, but we all know that he is in a better place and is healthy again, but that doesn't make it any easier it just is the truthful and realistic. The family trickled in to his hospital room one after another to say goodbye, and they just would say, we will see you soon, hope you get well soon, we will see you when you get home. So, I knew that they all were having not such an easy time either saying goodbye either. A older brother who had not talked to him for many years came to see him, he broke down and was so shocked, he couldn't believe what he was seeing. That was difficult to watch as he faded from the room in hopes he would see his dying brother again, but wasn't going to happen. Then it was my turn to face reality which I didn't want to do but it had to be done. I held his hands and told him I loved him and knew he was not himself, and wanted him not to be miserable any longer, and I knew it was a very short time, and reassured him that I would see him again tomorrow. Well, tomorrow never came and neither did goodbye.

So , when the week was over we only said a few words daily and by the end of week was over, sooner than it should been. I had to prepare myself to say goodbye, and I never really felt like it was easy to say goodbye to my best friend for life.