The Conference Room by Phoenix Lane

Naomi quietly moved into her usual spot in the small conference room, which was already bustling with the laughter and chatter of her coworkers. She put her notepad and pen neatly on the table and picked out a single chair in the far corner so she could see everyone as they came in. Even though she wasn’t asked to take meeting minutes, she always prepared to, just in case she was asked about it after the meeting. It provided her with something to focus on while pretending to blend in. She looked around the room and saw that she was the only black person there, the truth pressing on her with the same weight it always did.

Like floating clouds she could not quite reach, the conversations drifted around her. Plans for the weekend, funny jokes and stories that resurfaced in shared memories that she was not invited to. Waves of laughter erupted randomly around the room. Naomi nodded politely at her coworkers as they went by, but the distance persisted. She was never amused by their sense of humor. She had the sudden realization and the words were clear in her mind as if spoken out loud. “I do not belong here”. This feeling was not new to her. Ever since her first day, it had pursued her like a shadow. It landed differently this time though, as an urgent truth rather than just an observation. She wanted to get up, to leave, to never come back.

It had nothing to do with her skills. Naomi was aware that she was more than qualified to complete her job duties and she was competent. Her performance was obvious and she was well respected by her supervisor. However, competence and connection did not seem to go together here. She felt totally alone as she sat in that packed conference room.

Naomi drew circles on the notepad and colored them, and her eyes remained fixed on the notepad as she pretended to write down information from the meeting. Her coworkers’ banter and the way their laughter overlapped were all very painful to her. No one was mean, no one left her out on purpose. They just failed to acknowledge her. Feeling the cool air from the AC vent above her blow against her skin, Naomi squirmed in her chair and pulled her sweater around her tighter. She wondered whether her sense of unease was obvious to others, or if she was like the decades old carpet, unnoticeable.

Her thoughts started to wander, taking her away from the PowerPoint slides everyone else was focused on. Naomi allowed herself to dream of a different life in the comfort of her corner seat. What if she wasn’t forced to sit in these meetings and instead do something that was her own? What if she was able to create something herself? Her heart pounded at the though. An online store was an idea she had dabbled with in the past. Maybe she should take further steps to learn more.

She could actually imagine it, an online fashion boutique filled with clothes made with intention, pieces that spoke to women like her, women who often felt unseen in certain spaces but who deserved to feel confident and celebrated. Dresses that flattered without apology, T-shirts stamped with bold, empowering statements. Comfortable yet stylish pieces that told the truth of resilience and freedom. It wouldn’t just be about fashion though. It would be about affirmation that whispered, “you are worthy”, “you are powerful”, “you are seen”. Over the ongoing hum of the conference room discussions, the thought warmed Naomi from the inside out.

Naomi started writing, not taking meeting notes, but letting the pros of her idea flow out of her more quickly than she could keep up. Independence and her own schedule were her favorite. She felt present for the first time that morning, not to the meeting, but to herself. She felt as if she had found a secret door that only she could see, concealed in plain sight. She felt lighter as she wrote more, as though the weight in her chest had slightly decreased to allow her to breathe. Unaware that Naomi was in the introductory stage of her escape in the corner of the room, the meeting continued endlessly, with colleagues exchanging their project updates and achievements.

Chairs scraped back as the meeting eventually came to an end, and people sauntered out, already making plans for lunch. Naomi waited for everyone to leave the room. As if the words she had written was classified information that needed to be protected, she closed her notepad and held it to her chest. She experienced a slight change within herself as she made her way back to her desk. Nothing had changed in the conference room. Her coworkers remained the same, However, she had. Now she carried something extra with her, a little bounce in her step.

The new idea persisted in her mind for the next few days. Naomi used her phone to discreetly searched for things like “how to start an online store”, and “best platforms for beginners”, during her lunch break. She watched videos and read articles in search of an opportunity rather than a miracle. She added to her notepad at night after her kids had gone to sleep. She came up with names, phrases and designs to motivate her target market.

Naomi came to the realization that the moment in the conference room, when she felt out of place, had not been one of hopelessness. It had been guidance. It had served as her compass, guiding her new direction. She came to the conclusion that being accepted into a group wasn’t the only way to feel like you belonged. At times, it required designing your own space.

Work did not change. She was still excluded from conversations and events. However, Naomi’s burden of alienation had decreased. The spark of a prosperous and exciting future was in her. She owned this. And Naomi knew that one day she would remember that conference room as the place she chose to belong to herself, rather than as the place where she felt invisible.

THE END