2 comments

Speculative Suspense Crime

He just sat there quietly. The knife still clenched in his closed fist. The man was drenched in blood, and covered in self-inflicted wounds. In front of him lay his estranged wife sprawled out on the kitchen floor. The deranged man, stricken with grief, gently rubbed his hand across the top of her head and kissed her gently. An ominous blood trail leading away from her led to another woman cowering in the corner of the dinning room. She'd been injured greatly, but nothing fatal. The man stood up rather quickly causing the woman to shriek in sheer panic. "Please, don't hurt me! Please, I'm begging you. I have a daughter...she needs me." Seemingly not phased the man quickly came upon her, but stopped abruptly. His stare was cold and empty. He began looking around as if he'd heard or seen something. After a brief five minutes he then squatted down in front of her and began pressing the knife across her left cheek. "Tell me what you did," the man grovelled. She started to whimper something unintelligible. "I said tell me what you did," the man grumbled through clinched teeth. The disheveled young woman cleared her throat and began to scream. "Nothing! I did nothing! I swear!" Unsatisfied with her lack of cooperation the man threw his arm back and prepared to strike. The helpless woman threw her arms up in a desperate attempt to shield herself. But before the man could make his move there was a sudden tap on his shoulder. Startled he drops the blade and it lands near his feet. "You're...you're..." the befuddled man stammered. The woman that had been cowering in the corner lunged for the kitchen blade. As she scrambled to her feet the confused man backed off slowly. "Surprise," She chuckled maniacally before plunging the knife into the center of his chest. He brought his hands to the handle of the blade before collapsing onto the hardwood floor. In a last ditch effort he reaches desperately for his wife. "Help me. Please," the estranged husband pleaded to his wife. However, the once thought deceased wife ignored his pleas. She mumbled the words, "I"m sorry," and walked toward the other woman. To his disbelief they passionately embrace each other before sharing an intimate kiss. The women restlessly paced back and forth while pondering on how long to wait before calling the police. Unbeknownst to them the police were already in route. A neighbor had called moments before fearing something terrible had gone awry. The newly widowed woman was shaking uncontrollably. "We have to tell someone. They're going to know anyway," she sputtered through quivering lips. This angered the woman's lover. She grabbed her face and began to speak in a harsh tone, "If you lie, I'll lie. We will protect each other. But if you betray me...I'll kill you myself." With both women seemingly in agreement they embrace each other once again. "It's going to be okay. You are going to be okay. We are going to be okay. We did it. We freed you from that monster," she retorted in a more consolling manner. Without warning a loud banging startles the both of them. *This is the police. Mrs. Strummer can you please come to the door!* They look at each other for a brief moment before both answered the door. Shocked and beyond disbelief the officer screamed for backup through his walky talky. He pulled both women outside and drew his weapon. The officer did a quick sweep of the house and to his horror he discovers Mr. Strummer's seemingly lifeless body. He issues for a paramedic as he kneels down to check for a pulse. It was really faint. The officer walked back outside onto the porch and began questioning the two women. The squeals of sirens pierced through the dense atmosphere. Paramedics immediately rushed in retreiving the injured man and placing him on the strecher. As they began wheeling him out he once again reached out for his wifes hand. Only this time she reciprocated. With tears in her eyes she managed to choke out the words, "I love you." The man was whisked away to get treatment for his severe injuries. This enfuriated the jilted lover immensely. She reached towards her back. Quickly grabbing the knife she tried to conceal in her wasteband she lunges towards the other woman. However, she misses and ends up stabbing the officer in the shoulder. Desperate to exact her revenge she tries for a second time only to be shot multiple times by the quick witted officer. Stunned he reports the inncident to dispatch. Another ambulance comes to a screaching hault in the front yard. The wife is assessed before climbing onto the stretcher, but not before some last minute questioning. The woman paused for a moment. Then simply explained the situation, " I had an affair. She wanted me leave my husband. She attacked both of us. I fought back and stabbed her as well." The officer looked into her dull listless eyes. Looking for any sign or indication that she wasn't telling the truth. Without any evidence to contradict her theory the man watched as the ambulance carried her away. She drifts away from conciousness slowly. Several hours late she awakes in a whitewashed room. It's cold and empty with only a cot. The only way out is through a thick steel door. Disoriented the woman began to bang continously on the door yelling desperately, "Someone help me! Get me out of here!" After hours of banging and yelling a nurse finally comes to the door. "Mrs. Strummer, please calm down. You are safe." The distraught woman shook her head. "No, no, no! I don't know what is going on," the woman pleaded. The nurse retreated to the nurses station requesting for assistance. A medical technician and a guard walk back towards the patients room. He fumbles with a large set of keys and then unlocks the steel door. "No! Get away from me!" the woman screamed. The guy helps restrain her as the nurse gives her a shot to help calm the overexcited woman down. There is some resistence for a few moments, but then the woman gently drifts off to sleep. The guard quietly shuts and relocks the steel door with a turn of a key. The med technician returns to the nurses station. " Didn't get kicked this time did you, Mark?" the nurse at the desk questioned the young med tech. He shook his head. "She really doesn't seem to be aware of anything. It's been ten years. You'd think she'd remember what happened," the concerned nurse pondered. The young man shrugged his shoulders. "If I killed my spouse, my best friend, and even my dog... Hell, I wouldn't want to remember anything either," the young man recanted. Mrs. Strummer, who was thought to have been asleep, had overheard every single word. Guilt ridden and ashamed the woman dug her nails deep into her skin. She prys the sheet spread from her bed. She takes a deep breathe, and with tears in her eyes she wraps the sheet around her head. Gasping for air the woman only pulls tighter onto the sheet. Her body fights with its very being up until her last breath. Hours go by before the nurse goes to check on her patient, but by then it is too late. To their complete horror they find Mrs. Strummer asphixiated with the words "Forgive Me" carved across her chest. An officer was conviently already on sight. He was supposed to be bringing good news. Unfortunately, he was too late. The officer stopped in his tracks and dropped the papers. The words 'exhaunerated' written in red could be seen on the paper that flew across the floor, landing right by Mrs. Strummers bed.

December 01, 2020 22:02

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

2 comments

Ramon Martensen
13:54 Dec 10, 2020

Hello Hel, This is a story that plays with a lot of concepts, but it's a bit all over the place in that sense. Somthing lacks in terms of structure and build-up. By starting with the events, the reader has no time or opportunity to connect to any of the characters, which makes it at least for me hard to engage. I want to know who these people are before being able to feel invested in their fate. I would advise you to find a framework for the story, a structure that can help you to build up the flow of information. An example: the protago...

Reply

Hel Knightly
14:24 Dec 10, 2020

I appreciate the feedback. It's definitely a rough draft. It's supposed to be a third-person perspective, but you are correct about the lack of character detail.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
RBE | Illustrated Short Stories | 2024-06

Bring your short stories to life

Fuse character, story, and conflict with tools in Reedsy Studio. 100% free.