The Art of Gratitude

Sally and Bob were a typical American family, four kids and a dog, with a two-story house and a white picket fence. They were the picture perfect example of the American dream. One evening, Bob noticed that Sally had been under the weather lately and decided to treat her with a special surprise. “Maybe a day trip to the beach will show her how much I appreciate her and give her a break from the mundane household chores.” He thought.

He brought the idea to Sally, who smiled and quietly agreed. She drained the water from the sink and pushed the dishes aside until another time. Bob was proud of himself for noticing his wife’s unspoken need. Meanwhile, Sally hurried away to prepare for the unexpected change of plans.

 She began by searching for each child’s swim wear, finding them all in odd locations. Joe’s was in the kitchen. Sarah’s was in her toy box. Jack’s swimsuit was under the couch, and Sue’s was stuffed in her snow boot. She counted each one as a small victory and then moved on to assembling outfits to change into after swimming. After that, she packed lunch meat sandwiches, snacks  and cold water to be consumed at the beach. 

 In a large bag, she placed beach towels, sunscreen, water shoes, sun hats, sand toys and water blasters. After packing and preparing everything, she dressed each child, fed them breakfast, and fed the dog. Sally then summoned Bob, who packed the beach goings into the car and secured that house while Sally ushered the children to their seats. Exhausted, Sally slumped into the passenger seat and mentally prepared for the surprise adventure ahead. 

At the beach Bob relaxed in the sand and soaked up the sun while Sally built sand castles with the children. He was certain she would be happier and more like herself tomorrow. The day had been an easy going, family fun filled day, just as he had hoped. Once again, Bob applauded himself for being so insightful and attentive. He watched his family with admiration and reflected on the wonderful wife and mother Sally was.

 At the end of the day, Sally crawled into bed with one thought on her mind. “I am so tired. It would be amazing to have just one day that I don’t have to clean something, cook something or plan something. Just 24 hours to do absolutely nothing. In fact, one day where I didn’t have to make any decisions sounds wonderful.” Drained, she quickly slipped into the world of dreams. 

The following morning, Sally opened her eyes and instantly recalled a problem that needed a solution.  Bob’s birthday was in two weeks and she struggled to come up with a viable gift idea, and time was running out. She felt it should be special and memorable because this year was the big 4-0. She wanted it to be an undoubtable declaration of her love and appreciation. Her husband was not perfect in any manner of the word, but she loved him nonetheless. She also believed  everyone deserved to feel special on their birthday. 

After much thought, an idea hatched in her head. Skydiving! He had mentioned once that it would be cool to jump from a plane. Excitement and relief stirred inside of her as she used her phone to search for local businesses. Within minutes, she found a listing, some 40 miles away. Immediately, Sally called and booked an appointment for the next weekend. With a huge weight off her chest and a lingering secret in the air, she returned her attention to the million other things that demanded her attention. 

Bob was certain Sally had noticed the color drain from his face when she mentioned skydiving. However, her bouncing enthusiasm would suggest otherwise. Sure, he has mentioned once that skydiving would be fun, but that was in theory. He never dreamed he would actually do it. He had flown a few times, but jumping out of a plane was a whole nother story. He should have told Sally about his crimping fear of heights, but certain embarrassment always stopped him. What was he to do? He couldn’t tell her now and disappointed her, especially since she had already bought the ticket. “One would think being married to someone for ten years they would have a better idea of what their spouse would like.” He thought. 

With no other option before him, Bob plastered a smile on his face and thanked Sally for the thoughtful gift. Just when he thought it couldn’t get any worse, Sally handed over the ticket, along with one more present. Inside the beautifully wrapped gift box was a GoPro. Now he could record his experience and bring it home for the family to watch. 

Bob drove to the airport white knuckled and nauseated. He prayed the entire way, begging God to intervene in some way. First, he prayed for rain, surely they won’t continue in the rain. Then, he prayed his vehicle would have a mechanical failure. He prayed for the instructor to be stricken with diarrhea, and the pilot to have eaten a bad lunch. Nothing too serious, of course, just bad enough to prevent him from getting on that plane. Despite his desperate pleas, he pulled into the airfield and saw that the plane was parked and ready to go.

Bob felt his knee knocking and hands shaking as he climbed aboard the aircraft. The instructor gave a brief demonstration while he strapped Bob into the parachute. He tried to listen, but his throbbing heart sounded over the man’s words. One by one, the other participants jumped from the plane. With no other place to go, the instructor pulled Bob’s arm, directing him to the gaping hole in the side of the plane. 

Bob started to retreat back into the belly, but the man forced him out and into a free fall. Bob cursed his wife all the way to the ground for such a despicable gift. “Never again!” he shouted as he shimmied out of the harness. He smashed the GoPro on the ground and vowed to say it was damaged during all the excitement. 

Later that night, Bob recapped the day’s events for his family. Everyone listened eagerly as he retold a braver, more manly happenings of events. Sally was disappointed to hear about the GoPro but was pleased that Bob had a good time. She marked it off as another successful birthday. 

Over dinner, she spoke to Bob about a new member of the church. She was a young girl with a baby on the way. The father was present, but the couple was struggling to make ends meet while preparing for a baby. Sally offered that maybe the young man could come work for Bob around the house to earn some extra money. Bob agreed that he could use an extra set of hands.

The next day, a young man showed up at the house and Bob put him to work. The entire house had a complete makeover by the end of the week. Bob was grateful for all the help, but another cash payment would be tough. The bills piled up quickly with four kids and they didn't have a lot to spare. Regardless, He knew that if he had to do the work alone it would have taken him months, if not longer. 

 When the young man mentioned his engine blew on the way to work that day, Bob had the perfect solution. He had an old S10 that still ran well just sitting in his barn. It would be several more years before his kids were old enough to drive, it would be nothing for Bob to give him it to him. He hardly drove it anyway, just the occasional trip to the fishing hole and back.

Bob handed him the keys and explained it was compensation for the work done that day and an advancement for another week. He watched as the boy drove away, smiling ear to ear. The young man returned home and told the young lady about the broken car and receiving the truck. Worry and  relief showed on her face as he told the story. She was so happy to have a vehicle so she could get to her appointments and her husband could make it to work. It was a small truck, but enough for her small family, it appeared. 

With her due date quickly approaching, she urged her husband to get the car seat strapped in and ready to go. Unfamiliar with the proper way to strap a car seat in, he looked to the owner’s manual for guidance. The article provided in the manual made it clear not to put a rear-facing car seat in the front. However, the only seat in the back was a small pull down seat that sat sideways, which was also not suitable for a rear-facing car seat either.

 “So, where does that leave us?” The young girl asks. “That leaves us with a vehicle that is not safe to haul an infant. Our only option is to sell it and hope we can find another one.” He answered. Her excitement dwindled as she wondered how to deal with the new dilemma. “I am sure Bob meant well. He must not know a rear-facing car seat can not be installed in this type of vehicle.” The man explained. "Doesn't Bob have children?” She asked. " Yes, four. We will figure out something, dear, I am sure.” The young man offers. 

A few months later, Bob had all but forgotten about the terrible skydiving gift. He mindlessly scrolled Facebook until a listing for a Harley Davidson caught his attention. His father often said that one day he would own a Harley. It had been his lifelong dream. Bob thought back to all the sacrifices his father made being a single parent. Uncountable times his father put his needs before his own. He deserved to have at least one of his dreams come true. Bob was grateful to have such a selfless father, a trait he could relate to now that he was also a father.

 Pride swelled in his chest as he discussed when and where to meet with the owner of the motorcycle. One look and Bob knew he had to have it. It was too good of an opportunity to pass up. After exchanging assets, Bob loaded the Harley onto his truck and drove home. Excitement bubbled inside him at the thought of how his father would react.

 A short time later, Bob parked the motorcycle in his father’s driveway and called him to come out, he had a surprise. About ten minutes later, his father appeared in the doorway. Carefully, he maneuvered his walker down the ramp and across the driveway. In contrast to his body, his face and eyes lit up with vigor and youth. Tears welled in his eyes while his trembling fingers glided along the smooth, cool metal. Bob helped his father climb onto the bike and steadied it with a hand on the rear. 

Bob choked back the tears as a harsh reality set in. Regardless of his intended purpose, his father was too old to start riding a Harley. Bob apologized, but his father smiled even bigger. “Sure, it would have been great to have this 20 years ago, but thanks, son. It means the world to me.” 

That evening, Bob reflected on everything that had happened. He thought about how hard he tried to show his father his gratitude, but still managed to come up short. He had been looking at it all wrong. In fact, all he accomplished was reminding his father of his failing body and the bitter end that was soon to come. 

Then Bob remembered the horrid skydiving adventure. For the first time, it dawned on him how hard Sally had probably worked on that surprise. He was positive that, just like him, she had the best of intentions. But sometimes best intentions are not enough. Sometimes they do more harm than good. It required a certain level of maturity to master the slippery slope of gratitude, one that Bob had unquestionably lacked. 

Another reality check came to light when he recalled the beach trip. Guilt and condemnation rattled his body. He rushed to Sally and quickly explained his epiphany. Bob apologized for his lack of understanding and compassion. He urged his wife to forgive him and allow him an opportunity to show her how much she is loved and appreciated.

 Soon after, he called his father  and expressed his new understanding. “What would make you happy, pops?” 

“I just want a day with you along the river like we used to do when you were a boy. Just two men fishing and watching the water go by.” 

“I’ll pick you up tomorrow, Pops.’