40 comments

Fiction Horror Mystery

It’s been years she hadn’t come home. The only thought her mother suppressed, was that she had a daughter. A daughter who was her life, a daughter whom she lived for, a daughter whom she wishes to see. She never had anything to focus on but the gift god gave her. It was four years after her marriage when she conceived her, an for that reason too, her importance in the family was exceptional.

She was enjoying every single day of her life. Her father used to get deputed at many different places. Being a police officer it was his duty to obey the decrees. Laura was the only child of her parents and the apple of their eye. She was pretty as a fairy and intelligent as an owl. She never felt alone as she had a kitty and toys to play with. Her mother, like every single mother, used to worry about her and never let Laura stay out for hours. Being a good husband, and father, Jonas used to take his family for outings and parties. Every single person who looked at them adored the quality life the family was spending.

On a Thursday noon, Jonas received a deputation letter which demanded him to go to a small town in Alaska. Mechanzia wasn’t a very good place to stay because people there had a strong belief in the presence of some evil spirits. Jonas never thought of it, in fact, ridiculed it, because he didn’t believe in ghosts and spirits. They packed their luggage and headed towards Mechanzia, Alaska. Laura, as always, was very happy to go to a new place, but her mother, impending doomed could sense something fishy in the pipeline. She, as a mother, was afraid of the stories people narrated about Mechanzia, she never got a good vibe since the journey started. She tried to calm herself and made her learn that its only her thoughts that horrify her and sat calmly in the car.

They entered Alaska on Sunday morning and by evening they were at the allotted house. Laura loved the place as it was thinly populated and mostly bushes around. She figured out her room and promptly set the toys stuff around. Her kitty seemed a bit frightened but she made her sleep in her lap. Jonas had to leave for the office, so he did. Laura with her mother was all alone in the house. A couple of weeks went well and her mother too was of a belief that the pretence about Mechanzia had no gravity, but it’s utterly absurd. Laura was always a happy child, she used to spend most of her time in the garden on the upfront of the house.

After a couple of weeks more had gone, her mother noticed Laura insistently calling someone. Curiosity brought her out but she never found anyone else out there, but Laura. This started to happen more often and she curiously asked Laura about the friend she plays within the garden. She didn’t reply more than a word but, Mechanzia. Her mother was shocked for a moment. She deliberately caught hold on her senses and asked Laura again. She politely asked, “Dear Laura, who else is out there when you are busy playing with the kitty?” her words were never changed, and she said, “Its Mechanzia mommy”. She thought if Laura is imagining somebody because there is absolutely no one out there to play with her, but her mind too gave her the signal of some imminent incident. She also made Jonas aware of the incident that happened in the morning. Jonas, as usual payed no such attention and said, "it might be the new nickname of her kitty, or it could just be her imaginations. you see! my daughter is a hell of a creative creature". They both giggled and went to bed. A day or so went by and she figured it out that it's not just her imagination. The way Laura showed anticipation in the activities exhibited a situation where two or more children gather to play a game. She was sure as hell that something is out there when Laura is busy playing in the garden.

Laura, on the other side, started to spend more than the usual hours in the garden. Her mother tried to figure it out but this always crossed her mind. Jonas was as calm as ever because he never had believed in spirits and ghosts. On a Tuesday evening, exactly after three months, she was playing in the lawn and her mother in the kitchen, Jonas was late as usual. She locked her mother inside the kitchen. She kept on sobbing and yelling “Laura”, begged her to open it, but her every effort to break the lock went in vain. Laura in her shrill sharp sound took her name for the last time and said, “Mommy he’s my friend and he has promised me to buy some good chocolates”. Her mother saw her for the last time walking out of the house with a teddy in one hand and holding someone else’s hand with the other. The someone who was invisible, the someone who never spoke nor seen.

Jonas arrived with a bunch of flowers for the lady and a box of biscuits for the fairy. On seeing nobody around, he rushed into the kitchen and let her come out of the kitchen. She sobbed and cried on the frightful evening, and let him know the whole incident. It’s been three years and nobody could find Laura. Her mother wishes to see her again, and Jonas, who still can’t believe this all was real. She, repressing her painful memory, leaves the place if someone talks about that egregious event, and tries to busy herself with Nathan, who is just a year old.

It’s a Monday afternoon and some gentleman Police officer Karl has shifted at Mechanzia with his family of a wife and two children. People still tell stories about Mechanzia which also include the story of a child who locked her mother down and left holding hand with someone invisible. Karl laughs on such stories and thinks irrational of them. He calls such people the pseudo-intellectuals and the superstitious.

January 08, 2021 11:52

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40 comments

Adan Fatima
14:41 Jan 24, 2021

The story is well written. i enjoyed this story. the title is very unique and charming. it has suspense, fiction and horror as well. the settings and plot is also very good, especially the ending of the story is very different and attractive. i like the character of Jonas as he is very calm person having no believes on spirits. it is of dramatic character as he come to know that he was wrong but still i like his characteristics. keep it up.....................!!!!

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Nauman Hamid
17:55 Jan 24, 2021

Thank you ma'am

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Fiza Ilyas
14:30 Jan 24, 2021

Remarkable! Will be waiting for more content👍

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Nauman Hamid
17:58 Jan 24, 2021

Thank you!!

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16:59 Jan 23, 2021

You have written such a beautiful piece of writing. Simple yet so detailed. Amazing work. Keep it up. 👍🏻🌟

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Nauman Hamid
02:02 Jan 24, 2021

Thank you Mustabshirah!

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Waqas Shah
14:10 Jan 23, 2021

Never stop writing, your skills are amazing 👏🥰

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Nauman Hamid
02:03 Jan 24, 2021

Thank you Waqas!

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Zaynah Nasir
11:43 Jan 22, 2021

Very well written bro!! Keep up the good work!!

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Nauman Hamid
16:32 Jan 22, 2021

Thankyou Zaynah Nasir!

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Ali Raza
10:04 Jan 21, 2021

You’re an incredible writer. I really appreciate everything that you do. Keep it up bro😍

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Nauman Hamid
16:39 Jan 22, 2021

Thank you brother!

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Sadia Arif
08:51 Jan 21, 2021

Good work bro keep writing more 😊

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Nauman Hamid
11:56 Jan 21, 2021

Thanks mate!

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Eman Arshad
22:23 Jan 29, 2021

Beautifully written. Would love to read more of your stuff. Keep up the good work!!

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Nauman Hamid
17:38 Feb 03, 2021

Thank you!

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Syeda Umaima .
15:08 Jan 28, 2021

What an amazing piece of work👌🏻 I am personally not into reading stories but i really found your work interesting and this motivated me to complete the story‼️♥️♥️

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Nauman Hamid
16:55 Jan 28, 2021

Thank you Umaima!

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Komal Khan
14:59 Jan 28, 2021

Very well written . keep it up👍

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Nauman Hamid
16:55 Jan 28, 2021

thank you, Komal!

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Raafik Minhas
13:30 Jan 28, 2021

Good job boi 👍👍

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Nauman Hamid
16:56 Jan 28, 2021

Thanks mate!

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Bushra Kazmi
12:03 Jan 28, 2021

it's a good story and I like the style of the writing.

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Nauman Hamid
16:56 Jan 28, 2021

Thank you!

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Aleezeh Moeen
10:36 Jan 28, 2021

Good job!

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10:03 Jan 28, 2021

Great story bro! I'm not a reader but I enjoyed reading this. Hoping for you to write more!

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Nauman Hamid
16:56 Jan 28, 2021

Thanks!!

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Menahil Sajjad
07:16 Jan 28, 2021

This is marvellous!!!

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Nauman Hamid
07:31 Jan 28, 2021

Thank you!

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Hamood Khan
07:04 Jan 28, 2021

Amazing work! Keep it up.

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Nauman Hamid
07:32 Jan 28, 2021

thank you!

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Rida Abdul Wahid
11:03 Jan 26, 2021

very well written💫...enjoyed reading it...

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Nauman Hamid
17:15 Jan 26, 2021

thank you Rida!!

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Nauman Hamid
17:15 Jan 26, 2021

thank you Rida!!

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Kalsoom Akhtar
06:21 Jan 26, 2021

Story line is quite fine. I just want you to pay a bit more attention towards proofreading. Other wise, it was all good!! Appreciated 👍🏻

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Nauman Hamid
09:33 Jan 26, 2021

It would be of quite some help if you could help out in finding out mistakes. thanks! And about misspellings, I came to know after it was curated, and as per rules by the website; a curated story can't be edited. So, bear with me!

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Robin Goodfellow
06:35 Jan 15, 2021

Enjoyed the read. Thank you for submitting it. I'm pretty confident in my ability with line edit work...currently working on my ability of storytelling, so I can only in good faith offer suggestions in that regard to the former rather than the latter. (I'm also completely aware that I may sound like a hypocrite with some of my critique as my own writing tends to be verbose in nature.) Knowing these things. I hope that is okay that I offer some humble suggestions to better improve your story and maybe even help with crafting your next ones. ...

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Nauman Hamid
06:54 Jan 15, 2021

Thank you for your precious time and keen observations, I shall surely improvise accordingly. Thanks a bunch.

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11:36 Jan 22, 2021

It is a well written story. I ever read. All the elements are described.

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Nauman Hamid
16:33 Jan 22, 2021

Thanks Shehryar!

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