The Last Snail

“I can’t sleep”. Janie whispers across to the twin bed next to hers. 

The pile of dark curls seeping out the top of the black and white checkered bedspread stirs but doesn’t wake. 

“PSSST.” Janie hisses more urgently.  

The curl pile sighs, pauses, then reluctantly turns over. Her sleep mask with giant painted eyes is still on. She leaves it on as they talk. 

“Yes, Janie. What is it now?”

“I was- well- I just can’t stop thinking about the Moorean Viviparous Tree Snail.” 

MJ pulls up her sleep mask eyes to reveal the look in her real ones. “Janie. For real? What the hell is a Morn Vivipars Tree Snail and why are you up at 3am thinking about it?” 

Janie sighs. “Didn’t you here Miss Celia our naturalist talking about it on the foraging expedition today?”

MJ stares blankly, unblinking. Has she fallen back asleep with her eyes open? Janie slowly creeps over to her bed with her finger outstretched, ready to poke her.

“No, Janie, I didn’t.” MJ snaps.

Janie slips quickly back into her bed. “Oh ok. Well it’s this snail that used to roam around Mo’orea, the French Polynesian island, enjoying its sweet little tropical snail life until stupid humans introduced the Carnivorous Rosy Wolf Snail, which, I mean, obviously was going to end disastrously. Carnivorous wolf snail?? So they, predictably, ate all the poor tree snails and now they’re gone from the wild! Forever! How sad is that?”

MJ sighs and says with very little feeling, “Yes Janie, very sad.” She yawns. “Can I go back to sleep now?”

“I mean, sure, if you can. I just don’t know how anyone can sleep with that information slithering around in their minds. But yeah, if you think you can, be my- ”

The sound of MJ snoring interrupts her. Janie looks over and MJ is fast asleep again, mouth wide open, sleep mask crookedly over one eye making her look like a zany three eyed monster.  

Janie continues to speak out loud regardless. “It all just seems so crazy to me. These biologists introduce this new carnivorous species of snail to control a disaster with another invasive species introduced by the same biologists. Why did they think that wouldn’t also be a disaster?? It’s insane! It’s actually insane.” 

Janie sighs with resolve this time. She’s definitely not gonna be able to sleep. She defiantly flips her quilt off and swings her legs to the ground. She goes to step into the purple sweats by her bed still in a perfect parallel slouch where she took them off. She rummages through her closet to find her multi pocketed adventure jacket and puts it on over her alien themed sleep shirt. She checks a pocket on the right and finds the small red flashlight she left in there. She feels for the small stones and trinkets in another pocket on the left. All are accounted for. “Perfect.”  

She creeps down the cabin stairs, careful not to wake any of the other campers- except one. The moon is bright enough tonight that she can see fairly well without her flashlight. She tip toes over to the room right under the stairs on the bottom floor, quietly turns the handle and guides the door open just enough so she can slip in. It’s pretty dark but she’s guided by the unmistakable whistle snore. It moves her towards the bed on the left. Very gently she shakes the motionless body. The whistling stops. Janie quickly whispers, “Hey, it’s me.” 

“God?” The voice says with sleepy awe. 

“No, it’s Janie. Viv it’s Janie.” 

The whistling starts again. 

Janie whispers to herself, “Oh come on. Did everyone take NyQuil or something??” She shakes her again more intensely this time. “Viv, Viv it’s Janie.”

Very sleepily, “Janie?” More lucid now, “Janie!”

“Shhh, yes, it’s me.” 

“What time is it?”

“Very late. Too late for the Moorean Viviparous Tree Snail.”

“The Who What?” 

“Look Viv I just need you to get dressed and come with me. Please.” 

Viv yawns, “Go? Where?” 

Just then the girl in the next bed sits straight up startling Janie so much she almost falls on top of Viv. The girl yells “Allllrightyyy folks, and next up to bat we have theee Jamieee Walkerrrr!!” 

“Viv, what is going on?”

Rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, “Oh she just has night terrors. Tonight’s not so bad. Just one reallyy long baseball game. She’ll lay back down any second.”

Right on cue the sports announcer slowly sinks back into a yell free slumber.

“Right, ok then. So Viv, you trust me right?”

“Sure Janie, just- ”

“Just put some warm clothes on and meet me outside. Please? I’ll explain everything.”

“Ok, ok, gimme two minutes.”

“Thank you thank you thank you!”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Janie squeezes out the door and waits for a second. She puts her ear to the crack to make sure she hears movement and that Viv didn’t just fall back to sleep. She hears a rustling and then another yell, “Strike three and you’reeee outttt.” Janie decides to just go wait outside and hope for the best. 

After a few minutes Viv comes out with her jacket buttoned all wrong and her pants inside out, but she’s there. 

“So, what’s this all about. A vivacious snail of some sort?”

“Viviparous, yes. Ok, so you know how we used to play around with seances, pretending to talk to the dead?” 

“Yeah…”

“And most of the time one of us would just pretend to be the voice of someone from the past…”

“Uh huh…”

“But then, that one time- ”

Viv shudders. “That one time…”

“We actually got through to someone. And got so scared we raced out of the house screaming-”

“And had to watch re-runs of Rugrats all night to stop thinking about it, yes I remember. What does this have to do with snails?”

“Ok, in the foraging expedition today, Miss Celia told us about that snail that went extinct in the wild because of us stupid humans.” 

“Aw, poor guys.”

“Exactly! So I thought, we could revisit whatever we tapped into in our seance that one day to get in touch with, like, the snail ghosts or something and apologize and I dunno, see how we can do better?”

“Okayyy. Are you wanting to get in touch with one snail in particular? Or…”

“Um, sure yeah, I guess, maybe the last snail? Like the last of its kind. And just, ya know, apologize for wiping out their entire species and ask if they have any insight on, being better at… just better, yeah.”

Viv takes this all in. She takes a deep breath, resigned to help her friend. “Alright, I’ll try my best.” 

“Great! You’re the best. I knew I could count on you.”

They walk over to a wooden table under a tree a few feet from the cabin. They sit on the benches across from each other. Janie lays out all her trinkets and puts her flashlight facing straight up to the sky in the center of the table. They hold hands. Janie speaks in an elevated voice.

“Ohh mighty Moorean Viviparous Tree Snails, we come in peace.” She goes back to her normal voice. “Wait that’s for aliens.” 

Viv reassures her. “I don’t think they mind. Do you sweet snails?” She says, looking up. Right then a big gust of wind knocks the flashlight over. 

“Viv! You got through to them!”

“Janie, it was just-”

“No no, that was you, you talked to them, you have to do it, please. Talk to the last snail!”

She picks up the flashlight and reluctantly continues, pointing it at the sky, half thinking it’s ridiculous and half scared that it isn’t. “Oh last tree snail, we humans are so sorry for being such careless assholes. Can you ever forgive us?” There’s only silence. She continues, “We’re trying to do better. Or some of us are anyway,” looking across at Janie. More silence. Viv finally breaks it. “Janie, I appreciate the sentiment I really do but- ” 

Suddenly a great murmuration flies overhead as the sky starts to lighten. They both look up in awe. The starlings undulate and wave through the periwinkle sky together with utter brilliance.

Once they’ve flown out of sight Janie says humbly. “They move so beautifully together. So many bodies moving flawlessly forward in perfect harmony.” 

Viv looks up in wonder. “Do you think that was…?”

“I think it’s a nice thought.”