Intersection

I.

“Landor, I forgot my check-in card again,” Thommy Myrt says as he approaches me and puts his massive tan hands—adorned with silver rings—on the countertop. I glance at his hands, not trying to gape but failing miserably as he starts tapping with each finger in rhythmic beats.

Ughhh, I mentally roll my eyes but put on the professional smile.

“No problem, Myrt. Did you also forget how to ask politely?”

“I did not. Ask. For. Anything…” One dark curl falls on his forehead as he leans to me.

“Yet,” I utter.

“Yet.” He narrows his black eyes at me. Long fingers still hitting the surface in front of me.

I log his time on the computer and snarkily state that it is all done. He does not bother to stay for a second longer, and I just stare at his broad back as he leaves toward his office.

“Ummm, not even a thank you?” I blurt out at him.

The only sound I hear him make is a deep breath combined with his knuckles popping.

II.

In the evening I tidy up my reception, turn off the lights, and grab the keys to lock the company doors. All of a sudden I hear him behind me.

“Staying up late, Landor?” He whispers to me.

I freeze.

“Oh please, now you want to make conversation happen?” I say it roughly behind my back.

“Just trying to keep things normal between us.”

“Normal??” I glance at him. “Can it be normal between you and me? As I remember, it was never just normal, and it can definitely not be normal now after all.”

I started to move to get away from him. Way too aware of his fresh and woody smell that started to curl around me. He suddenly grabs my wrist and turns me around.

“Ouch. You should know better, Myrt,” I say, my eyes raging, looking at his vast, darkened ones.

He exhales slowly, “Do not do this to me.” He tightens his jaw.

“Do what exactly?” I try unsuccessfully to pull my wrist out of his strong hold.

“You know how hard it is for me to see you every day. Damn well knowing that I cannot touch you, care for you, or have never-ending conversations again with you…” His eyes flicker to my ring.

“Well, you are touching me now, right?” I pierce my glare at him. His grip loosens around me. I pull my wrist to my chest, feeling the warmness where his touch left me.

In the darkness I follow the outline of his curved mouth and shut eyes. The air suddenly changes, and I remind myself that I should leave, but my feet do not listen.

“You cannot avoid us forever, Rie.” My nickname rolls off his tongue so naturally, like he never stopped saying it. It feels like he has never left. As if it was yesterday that he held me in his strong embrace, whispering to me about our future, shielding me from the strong wind, and softly kissing me on the beach as the wild ocean waves touched the shore. But the glint of my ring brings me back to my senses.

“Excuse me, but you have no right calling me that. You lost that privilege after everything.”

“Oh, because he is your world now? Tell me, does he understand you like I do? Does he try to make your day better as soon as he sees how you nervously wrap your finger around your hair? Does he even kiss you so hard that your lips get swollen and you get that look in your eyes? I bet he does not even notice how you bite your lower lip when you are worried. Tell me that I am wrong, and I will not bother to talk to you ever again, Marie…” A trace of pain crosses his face, and for a moment I could see a dark storm in his eyes.

Too afraid that my voice will betray me, I lower my gaze and stay silent. His hand caresses mine, and instant heat flushes over me in a stark cold contrast with his rings that decorate each of his fingers.

“I looked for you everywhere. You were there in every book and every song. I carried you daily in my mind but still could not reach you. I tortured myself thinking it would get better. That it is more noble this way. But I just could not bring myself to show up… It should not have ended like that, but I am here now… I am so sorry…”

“You are sorry??” My voice trembles. “So ignorant of you to say that, Thommy.” I poke him in the chest. Not caring about holding my emotions in check anymore. “If you were really sorry, you would be the one that never left. You return to this job after three years and try to pretend like nothing ever happened between us. Expecting me to act normal and continue like I do not think of you every time I pass our carved names on that wooden bench in our park, read Nietzsche, or hear our song on the—“

“By looking at your ring finger, people would say you never even had a second thought about me.” The iciness in his voice cut me deep.

My raised voice echoes in the empty office: “I waited for you long enough! You did not call me or write me a freaking message. Damn, Thommy, even a single email would be enough of a closure. I gave you my trust, my whole heart, and you betrayed me.”

His eyes dart away.

“I did not know how to...“ he mutters. “I would have ruined you…. I just needed to…. So I simply…”

“Ran. That's what you did.” I inhale his crisp scent. “I just wish you had more trust in us or that you left me something to hope for, you know? I cried so much, not knowing where you were, thinking I was the problem. That I was not deserving of your love…”

“Marie, do not even assume that—“

I flinch as he tries to reach me, and he drops his hand.

I draw a frustrated hand over my face and continue, my voice shaking: “You left me no choice… You ran away and did not even try to fight for us. I crave all the missed giggles, nose nudges, stolen kisses, and our cosy times in the cinema, Thommy. I wanted to admire your features on our tiny human, count all your smile wrinkles around your eyes, hold your strong hand through every step of the way, grow old with you, show you how good we are together in this thing called life… I simply wanted all of you…” Thommy stood still, his full lips pressed in a hard line.

Exhausted, I skim over his pained face while fumbling with my keys. “And to answer your question, yes, you are wrong. James at least stayed.”

But he is not you; my heart plummets at the last thought, and this time, I leave him. Acutely aware of his gaze following me.

III.

Arriving in the office the next morning, I could not get rid of this wrenching feeling in my gut. I find a small parchment on my table written in his neat handwriting. I trace the words with my finger, touching every curve of the letters he left on the paper.

Marie,

It was my honour knowing you. My whole being, my mind, and my soul will search for you in each lifetime.

Forever yours,

Myrt

I whip my head toward his office. All that is left is a vacant office table. His note falls from my shaking hands. My vision blurs. I hide away the tears that stream down my cheek. Unspoken words, unfulfilled promises, missed laughs, and memories trickle through my mind as sharp pain hollows my chest.