On to the Next Stop of Life

Estelle Trivett was your average teenager. Long black hair with jet black headphones to pair with whatever is in the laundry basket today. Today was one of the worst days of her remaining life. Her mother had decided that they are moving from California to Texas. She of course knew this would happen someday, just not this soon. 

Estelle watched as her mom and her uncle put various furniture into the moving truck. There’s a law in California that a C class license could drive a certain size of moving truck, so it’s not going to be done in a day. 

All this time Estelle thought of the things she hasn’t accomplished in this state. 

There’s a lot.

Moving states is different moving to a different house for the 5th time. Don’t get her wrong, it still sucks when your friends are going to different schools, and the friendship eventually falls apart. But this is a lot different. 

A new state means new people, new restaurants, new library, new drama, and new subjects to learn. Don’t get her started on learning all of California’s history. That in itself was already tiring enough.

It’s not the new things that scare her (well they do scare her), it’s all of the things she’s leaving behind. Memories, her favorite In-N-Out place, Walmart, and her friends, who she has not told not a thing about moving. 

Yeah, even though she has been told like a year before moving, she still hasn’t told anyone else about it. 

To be fair, what was she supposed to say? Maybe, “Hey I’ll be moving tomorrow away from everything that I knew for 7 years and your guys.” too sarcastic. Or “I’m very sorry to say that I’ll be going and never seeing you guys again, hope you have a great life without me.” too formal. 

Her eyebrows scrunching up, this is hard. Estelle is not a social person, at all. This is her first couple of friends who stayed long enough for her to believe they’re not going to not talk to her after like 3 months. So technically she could say that she has not been socially with any of her peers for a decade or so. 

Also counting that she’s an immigrant doesn’t do much favor for her. In the first year she could barely speak a word. It was after 3 years of learning over and over again, then she could speak somewhat fluently. 

Then it became the quest of finding someone who wants to be her friend. And finally after a decade of waiting, Vanessa Romeo and Samantha  Elliott, one came crashing into her life, and one was met at a group project.

Estelle sighed softly at the contact names. Just one push she could send the message.

One push…

She smashed her head against her pillows. She can’t do it, who knows how they’ll react! Will they be mad that she took so long to tell them? Will they be sad she’ll be leaving? Or… will they not care, at all. Just move on with other people and forget about her. 

Before she could bemoan about her situation, her stomach reminds her that her body doesn’t care if she’s having a crisis, they want food.  

Begrudgingly she got up from her mopy mess and with bad grace maneuvered her legs over to the fridge.  

“Hungry?” her mom who just poked her head out of nowhere. Jeez always walk so quietly like a cat. 

“Somewhat.” Estelle said, checking the fridge. She then turned her head to her mom. “Soooo,” she started, “have you ever had to say goodbye to any of your good friends?”

Her mom sat down on the couch. “Well, I had to say goodbye to my close friends when I decided to move to America.” 

Estelle leaned closer to listen, “What was their reaction?”. Her mom shrugged, “I don’t remember, I was too busy getting everything prepared. But I do know that they were concerned, some of them at least.”

Estelle put her chin on her hand, “Did you ever move to a new city or something?”. Her mom shook her head.

When Estelle was still trying to find something to calm her anxiety while regenerating food points, her friend Samantha  texted her. 

Samantha : Hey r u free rn?

Estelle: Yeah, y?

Samantha : I want to study for a test, could u meet me at the library?

Estelle starts her train of thought. This could be a moment she has been looking for. 

“Hey mom, do you mind if I go to the library?” Estelle asked. “Sure, your friend asked you to join them?” Estelle nodded. 

“Alright,” her mom stood up and grabbed her keys.

---

The two of them drove in silence. Estelle starts fidgeting with her sling bag’s zipper. Not wanting to get car sick, she began to stare at the view. She has been watching this view over the past 7 or 8 years. Now it feels melancholic. 

A church, she remembers how she could barely speak English and not understand a word they were saying about God.

A restaurant, she remembers how the pink liquid at In-N-Out was so enticing, but she later realized that it’s pink lemonade. It was sour as hell, but it was funny for the adults as they chuckled at her scrunched up face.

A house, she remembers that no matter how hard she tried, she could not for the life of her remember friday. The tutor had told her mother such, and on the way home the mother had tried to teach various ways to remember. Such as Friday as fries or the fifth day.

One tree, She remembers how she stared at her high school in wonder when she was in junior high. Her mother had mentioned that it would be her future school. She was scared of new and big places. Oh how the times have changed.

A mall, she remembers her mother calling a place ‘Ten Doors’. She couldn’t understand what it meant. Until way later in the year when she could finally read that it’s actually called “Ontario Mill”. And it was called “Ten Doors” since it had ten doors you could enter and exit.

It was pretty stupid and silly of her to reminisce all of those embarrassing times, but it were precious memories. 

It was precious because it all happened in California.

Now she’s going away. 

When she has finally got some people she could call “friends”, she’s going away.

Estelle didn’t realize the tears were streaming down her face until her mom, in a gentle voice asked, “Why are you crying?”

Estelle wipped her face with her hands until her mom offered some tissues. 

“I’m just scared.” Estelle’s glaze turned to the side window. “Of what?” her mom inquired. “Scared of the future and what is going to happen here.” 

“Could you explain? What do you mean about ‘what is going to happen here’.”

Estelle took a shaky deep breath, “I mean, when I leave, would everything still be here?

Would my favorite In-N-Out store still be here? Would Ontario Mill still be here? Would the tutor who taught me basic English still be here? Would the high school I went to be here? Would my friends still be here? 

Will everything be the same once I leave?”

Tears are flowing freely down Estelle’s face. Even the more tissue she stuffed her face into couldn’t handle the amount of heartache poured out. 

It was a bit before she calmed down. The soft sound of the engine is still roaring in the background. The sound of wheels against the road is still there. 

“Estelle, are you calm now?” 

She gave a nod. 

“To answer your questions. I don’t know. I’m sorry this has to happen to you. I cannot guarantee that everything will be the same once we leave. Of course before I would say you could visit once you’re eighteen, but change is constant in everyone’s lives. 

I know how you dislike change, however this has to be done. This place has always been a comfort to you. You knew all the shops, the restaurants, even where all the restrooms are. Though, none of this could prevent what he had done to our family. So it’s either he chips away at our mental health or we leave to start a new life, one where he couldn’t follow us. 

You understand of course. So I know you're sad and angry, even so I hope you understand the benefit of this. I know, I know one day you could overcome this. For now let your emotions out.”

Eventually Estelle stopped struggling against the forces of fate and slowly started to accept the harsh reality. 

They still have to leave, she has finally made friends, that bastard is still alive, he still hasn’t got a heart attack yet.

-----

“How do I look?” Estelle views the mirror on the front passenger seat.

“Fabulous.” her mom replied without looking. Estelle didn’t look amused, “I’m serious mom, I couldn’t let Samantha  see I just cried a waterfall.” 

Her mom placed a hand at her shoulder, “You will be fine. You’ve gone through worse things, and what happens?” she didn’t wait for a response, “You always came up at top.”

Estelle nods. “Alright I’m going now.”

“Have fun! Call me when you're ready to leave.”

Estelle waves back at the car leaving the library parking lot.

Alright she can do this, she pumped herself up. 

Walking on the concrete floor, it’s a weekend, not many people are here today. Her feet feel heavy, breaths are getting shorter and shorter, nevertheless she didn’t let that deter her. 

Walking up to the automatic door, which in its name opened automatically for her. 

Inside she was hit with the familiar sight of books and people whispering among themselves. 

Looking to the right at the adult section, there they were. Samantha  and surprisingly Vanessa. 

Samantha  notices first and starts waving Estelle over. 

Estelle starts to walk over. 

“Hey Samantha , Vanessa. I have to tell you guys something important.”