Truthy:

“Have you ever told the truth to anyone in your life, besides me. You have told me the truth, haven’t you?”

“I can’t get all up in the air about what I did, didn’t do, might do, probably won’t.”

All I know is that in that movie where someone is supposed to have shot the president, and didn’t, and the senator behind the whole thing, says, “The truth is what I say it is.” Now that is a guy who knows something about truth.

I knew she wasn’t going to let it go. It’s like eating or fighting or stealing, if you is good at it you don’t pretend

you ain’t. I know it’s hard for some people to hear, but there is a difference between not saying something, and sayin something. I personally believe that sometimes it is far better to not say anything, diplomatic like, than bring something up that you know ain’t goin to sound good, even if it comes covered in Aunt Mabel’s Sorghum.

I believe what we is talking about here, is a lot like that talking your Mama gives you about burning bridges. Once you burned it, you ain’t going back unless you is prepared to just get wet, and that’s assuming you knows how to swim.

My mother taught me to always take the consequences for your actions. It took me a while, but I figured out that what they don’t know, you don’t have to apologize for, lesson learned, problem solved. Now she’s got old George pinned up against the greeting table, and he’s lookin like he can’t wait to confess, whether he did something or not. But then it might not be about him. Another good reason to pretend I can’t hear.

“Did you tell George to pretend he can’t hear?”

“No! not exactly. I told him the story about Amos, who learned after waiting in line while all the other peoples got to go right up front, that buying a used wheel chair was a good investment. Sitting in a chair, and people thinkin what they will, is not lying; not deceiving either. No matter what you do, people are going to judge you. Even if you just sit in a chair and they believe you can’t walk, that’s on them. You, of all people, should know that people make up stuff about other people so they can feel good about themselves. Nothin wrong in that unless they hurt somebody. 

They are just trying to be the Christians, they think they should be. If it’s the wrong type of Christian good, is that George’s fault. Hell no. George just sittin their reading the Bible, lookin scruffy like he does, and people comin up to him pushin him here and there, like they is doin him a favor. When in actuality, they are deceiving him. Pretending to be descent folks when all they want is to believe god is watchin and approvin of them doin His work.

You ever even sat in a chair with wheels, they is quite comfortable.”

Now she’s goin off down the aisle of tables pretending there is something wrong with me. She never was much good at lessons. I remember only too well when we was in school and she was supposed to do my homework while I was helpin her daddy with his business out behind the shed. I got B’s, and once even a C+. What kind of help is that. 

I didn’t carry on like the world was ending, cause some people believe what they want. She’ll be back. She, in the time I’ve known her can’t let anything go. She has a way of tweaking reality, so it smiles, if it don’t downright laugh. She’s the kind that takes an old sardine can, put some color and glitter on it and gives it some kid and tells them to keep it for when they get their first diamond. 

She doesn’t only believe God is always watching but listening. 

She can’t tell somebody that needs to be told about something,

cause there’s always a chance as she says, “They’ll see the light.” When she gets into light and that kind of stuff I got to leave. After bein around her for ten minutes, you have to look over your shoulder to see if someone ain't comin.

“Don’t be bothered George, she’ll be back. I’d bet your banks routing number on it.”

“Well find out soon enough. Here she’s comin back. Faster this time.”

I feel like a bull in the arena knowing I’m goin to get stuck, and there’s not much to do about it but pray. And I ain’t no good at that. To me asking for something you feel you don’t have comin, it’s like lying cause you’re pretending you believe in something you don’t.

“Your back. Come to apologize for calling me fabricator of the truth. So let’s have it.”

“I ain’t apologizing, even thinking about it, until you answer one question I have, truthfully. I been down talking to Betty, and she was telling me…”

“Who is Betty? You listening to just anyone, you going to find out a whole lot of animosity about everything under the sun.”

“Betty, your mother, Betty. The one who raised you and is feeling kind of sorry she did. She heard from Mercedes, the Reverent Antonin’s…helper. She told Betty, your mother, that she heard from Mercedes that you was foolin around with Shirley Chisholm. You remember Shirley Chisholm , I’d expect!”

“Who?”

“Shirley Chisholm! What I got marbles in my mouth?”

“You talkin about Shelly Bascom? The one who gets the church ready for big events. I haven’t seen Shelly since we left school, some ten years back. You’d better talk to Mercedes, see if she needs us to chip in for new glasses.”

“We can settle this right now. Tell me the truth and I’ll go get Mercedes. She’s just over there. She’s the ones been smiling at you all night. So tell me now, with your hand on your heart. Leave the shoe on your foot, don’t need another bein where it don’t belong.”

Well couldn’t answer right off cause I was kind of taken aback by the insinuation. And she didn’t give me time to catch my breath. Who says stuff like that without evidence. You start talkin like that, and the next thing you know there are those believin in it.

“Well, did you?”

“You too George?”

“Well, did you do it or not. Before God and me, just tell me you ain’t twisting words to get off the hook. Just say so and get forgiven. People hate getting played way more than they hate forgiving people. That’s what church people do.”

“I told you, I didn’t fool around with anyone. Don’t know where Mercedes got a hold of the security, but I assure you it ain’t me. It was dark back there. Hell, I could hardly see what might have been goin on.”

“Ah Ha!”

If I tell the truth, I’ll be lying. If I lie, I’ll be telling the truth that’s a lie. How come I’m the liar when being accused of something I didn’t do, which is really the lie, gets you a pass.  

Truth don’t seem to mean as much when you don’t agree. I could pretend something happened, and just confess, even though I’d be lying. Get it over with. Like Dad said, “If you can’t win, don’t play. You can’t gain nothin by loosin, and not much most of the time by winning, so why bother yourself about somethin don’t make a difference to anyone, specially you.

“Listen, it ain’t goin to end unless you end it. She’s like my Mae, wants something it ain’t goin away, don’t care how much jewels and perfume you dip it in. Easier to lie, and know you are right, then don’t lie, and be in the same place, as if you did. You hearing me?”

“George, I appreciate the sermon stuff, but like I told you, if I believe in anyone having the power to look down on me, its Dad. I figure he wasn’t around much when he could have been, so I feel like he’s goin to make up for it now. Remember when he robbed that grocery store and only got thirteen dollars. Went back the next night and did it over again. He said he wasn’t takin a chance on goin to jail for thirteen dollars. That’s how his mind worked, so I have faith he ain’t letting this go until I’m through with it, and don’t come out pleadin guilty just to get a lighter sentence.”

“You’d be right. I’ll confess for you. Leave um wondering about, did he, or didn’t he. You stay here an’ I’ll go n’ see what’s up. Unless you’d rather be out in the alley playin peek-a-boo and pretending you can’t find the truth, cause it’s too dark out there for the security to see. I’m off. Think about what I said. Sometimes its better to take a beating for the wrong thing, than get away with somethin cause you was just lucky.”

“Thanks George. I’ll be goin home now case anyone is wonderin where I’m at.”

“You move into the alley or was that just another one of your tactics to get me to do all the digging for the truth. May your father have mercy on your soul. See yah.”

That George, he don’t believe in anything, but his form of right. I don’t think he would believe something, even if God told him.