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Funny Suspense Fiction

We all hide in our holes under the sand.

I’ve never liked living below ground. It’s damp and moist, keeps us alive but I can barely see a thing down here. I like it when it’s nighttime on the beach, where we can roam freely without those surface giants bothering us. 

Major Eileen Dominicus Crab orders us to stay put whenever the earthquakes sound from above. And that today is every few minutes. 

The surface giants stomp around, making our bodies rock against each other.

Something touches my leg, and I move to escape whatever it is. Must be a piece of shell or a tiny bug. But the touching comes from up and not down, and when it dawns on me, I’m stuck in place. 

"Take cover, dig down!" Major Eileen shouts.

It’s too late when I realize that the surface giants are doing what we fear the most…playing in the sand. Before I can move any further, my body gets lifted out of the sand holes, and I squirm as the surface giant manhandles me. 

“Hey, look, Matty, it’s a crab!” A surface giant squeaks and looks me in the eyes.

Their abnormally huge face and big ugly eyes stare at me in wonder. They are so big and scary that I feel I might have just peed myself. I don’t understand how I can hear what the giant says. They speak a different language from us. Maybe I’m turning into a surface giant, maybe I can finally live somewhere else away from the sand holes. But then the surface giant shakes me and I feel a headache. What do they think I am? A pearl oyster? They’d have better luck with that in the ocean. 

“I say we take it home and cook it!” Matty says. He sounds like a nasty surface giant.  

A third voice chimes in, “No! We can’t eat it. I don’t eat meat, and I don’t want to hurt the little guy.” 

This voice sounds considerably nicer than the other two. 

“And stop shaking it!” The third voice says.

“Ow, it bit me!” The first surface giant who picked me up cries. 

The giant lets go of me, and I fall awkwardly to the sand. I scuttle away as quickly as I can into the nearby water, even as Major Eileen’s commands ring in my ears.

No exploration! Only sand holes, and nightly supervised water runs. 

I’m breaking the rules, for safety. And I also want to explore like never before. I want to see what’s inside the ocean, it shouldn’t hurt anyone. Major Eileen keeps an iron grip on us and doesn’t let any of us out of her sight. In her platoon, we must follow her rules. If we don’t, she sends us to the ends of the deep dark sand, further down and away from everything else. 

So I begin my journey, pushing myself into the ocean. At first, there’s not much to see. Just more surface giants playing with big oddly shaped things and splashing water at each other. I narrowly avoid the feet of one of the surface giants near the shallow side of the sand in the ocean. That would have been an unfortunate squashy ending for my life. 

Then as I scuttle further into the ocean, suddenly there is a burst of color and motion. A group of fish swims above me and I begin to feel a sense of unease. They are smaller-sized, but I can only imagine how a bigger fish might want me as their next meal. 

I begin to backtrack, but the current of the water pulls me in closer to the ocean’s deep end, and after a few seconds, a halibut sees me. Oh no.

The halibut starts to chase after me. I scuttle as fast as I can back out of the water but there’s a long way to go. The halibut is going to catch up to me! The halibut wiggles closer and closer, increasing in speed. 

Finally, when the halibut catches up to me, I look at the halibut and the halibut looks at me. But instead of opening up his jaws and taking a bite out of me, the halibut speaks to me like I’m another halibut. 

“Howdy,” the halibut says.

Well, this is weird. 

“Uh, howdy to you!” I say. 

“I am your spirit guide, Hali But. You are in grave danger,” Hali But says.

“I can see that,” I reply, inching back further. 

I don’t believe Hali But but then Hali But starts glowing like a bright star. Everything around Hali But fades, and it’s like Hali But is the star of the seas. 

“Not only that, but your entire family is in danger too. You must go away from this beach and ocean. You must go with the one called Apple.” Hali But declares. 

“But how do I get to the Apple?” I ask. 

“All you must do is go back to the shore. Apple will be revealed to you,” Hali But says, his solemnity never goes away. 

“Now go, little crab. You were once like me, but you were cursed to be a crab for this life,” Hali But reveals.

“What do you mean?” I ask, confusion seeping into my legs.

“I am Hali But, you were my brother Eli But,” Hali But offers no other explanation. Hali But starts swimming away, leaving me as confused as ever. 

“All I need to do is go to the shore, and find Apple?” I wonder. 

I try to heed Hali But’s advice. I go back to the shore, and somehow day has turned to night. There are no more surface giants, there shouldn’t be. But one surface giant sits near the water like they’re waiting for someone. 

“Oh, Eli!” The surface giant starts to cry when they see me coming out of the water. 

I look around to check if the surface giant is talking about anyone else, the dead jellyfish a few meters away perhaps? Or does the surface giant have a friend somewhere nearby?

But the surface giant kneels and looks right at me. 

“My Eli! You’re alive!” 

Suddenly, I feel my legs changing. I feel my body extending upwards, and my legs turn into surface…wait no, human legs. My hair, like Apple’s hair, is reddish brown. My eyes are a darker blue than hers. 

“Apple!” I speak, and she hears me. 

I reach for her and fold her into a hug. 

She sobs in my arms, and I comfort her with whispers of love.

I remember who I am. 

I am Apple’s husband. 

April 26, 2024 11:27

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1 comment

M.L. J.
12:18 May 02, 2024

LOVED !! This was such a fun and unique interpretation of the prompt. The ending was really delightful as well!! Great job!!


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