She is standing on the sidewalk with a suitcase, a tote bag, and an envelope. She continued to stand looking at this house. Her face didn’t show any expression. It was as if she knew how to keep her composure in a place of indecisiveness. The more she stood there looking at the house. The bigger the house appealed to be bigger and uglier. It was all in her mind. She knows what she has to do. This was just unfair after all she had been through.
What she didn’t know was that a woman was looking at her standing on the sidewalk with her suitcase, tote bag, and the envelope in her hand. The woman was just observing her. The woman couldn’t understand why she would just stare at this house for over thirty minutes. The other people in the house started to become curious about why the woman was looking out the window for so long. The other guest in the house figured out what she was looking at: that woman. They noticed a person across the street was watching her too. They were not watching for the wrong reasons. The woman saw he was approaching the woman from behind to steal her suitcase. All the people in the house rushed to the door, They yelled, “Blue J, we see you. You know we are not afraid. Go ahead and try us.” One of the women pointed at something in the corner. A camera was in the corner of the house. If BlueJ stole her suitcase, there would have been proof. The girl who was standing on the sidewalk. She was completely lost and overwhelmed. Until she noticed what the woman was pointing at, the camera was on the side of the house. All the women grabbed the woman's things off the sidewalk, they escorted her into the house. The woman could tell she was in a fog. They just let her sit in silence until she was ready to speak. The house mother, Ms. Ella Rose, was about seventy years of age. The way Ms. Ella Rose looked like the world could tell she was not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but you could not get anything past her. She could find a rat hiding spot. Ms. Ella Rose walked to the front of the house after she heard the commotion. She recognized the woman. Ms. Ella Rose did not say a word. She sat in the chair across from the woman. The girl immediately came out of her fog. She said,” Moma”.
“Meela”, Ms. Ella Rose replies calmly. The woman's facial expression went from no expression to angry in less than thirty seconds. “This isn’t what I signed up for”, replies Meela.
Ms. Ella Rose didn’t say a word. She just smiled and kept it moving throughout the house. She had to finish cleaning and cooking before eight o’clock. She had to rise early in the morning to assist the ladies to cook breakfast and do her business.
Ms. Ella Rose had developed a transitional house for women. It was for pregnant teen mothers, getting out of jail, and the homeless. Meela was a toddler when Ms. Ella Rose opened this house. Ms. Ella Rose was a single mother of three children. She had already broken the odds when she opened this house. Meela’s brother and sister were not angry with Ms. Ella Rose is like Meela. Meela wanted her mother’s attention. She wanted to share her mother with no one. Meela's anger made her act out. She got a criminal record. Meela was released early after serving three of her five-year sentence.
One of the ladies in the house did not like how Meela spoke to Ms. Ella Rose. She walked softly over to Meela. She stood in front of her. “Your mother didn’t sign up for you to be a rude, disrespectful, and angry jailbird”, said Linda. One of the girls sneaked. Meela threw a pillow from the chair at her. Ms. Ella Rose did not see what happened, but she yelled from the other room. “Meela, apologize and don’t throw anything else. Linda, I do not need your assistance. God is bigger and stronger than you. He will handle Meela.” Meela rolled her eyes and fell back in the chair. “Don’t you fall back in my chair like that”, yelled Ms. Ella Rose. All the ladies had a look like Let's get out of dodge. They ran upstairs to their rooms. Meela was sitting in the living room with her suitcase, the tote bag, and the envelope. As silence continued to speak without saying a word. She heard her mother in the back of the house, humming and thanking God. It was better than hearing the noise, depression, oppression, and chaos of the prison walls. She would not admit this truth to her mother. She grabbed her suitcase, tote bag, and the envelope and walked downstairs to the basement. She looked at the pictures of her childhood. She laughed and cried. She heard a big thud and a scream. She ran upstairs from the basement. She saw her mother lying on the floor unconscious. One of the ladies in the house dialed 911. Meela's brother was coming through the door for his regular visit with his mother. He screamed and wept so hard he just fell on top of his mother. One of the ladies in the house pulled him off her. Meela finally came to herself. She began to give her mother CPR. Her brother looked at Meela and smiled with tears falling from his eyes. This is my sister, the nurse. EMT came through the door. They were given praise for doing such good work. Ms. Ella Rose had a pulse. If Meela had not come to herself in just the nick of time. She might be burying her mother. She didn’t need that experience after being in prison all this time. Meela told herself. I did not sign up for this, but I am in the right place. From that day forward, Meela learned from those ladies each day. Ms. Ella Rose had a stroke. She could not run the house anymore. Ms. Ella Rose's children ran the house. Ms. Ella’s vision of leaving her children this house to help women was being fulfilled. Meela’s dream to be a nurse had begun.
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Hi Mellanie.
The core of this story is rich with emotion and inspiration. It’s beautifully conceptualized.
To make this story sing, play with different grammatical styles to let the reader understand the nuances within a scene. Reconfirm some of your word choices to ensure that is the word you want to use.
This is a really wonderful story and it can definitely be further expanded into a longer work, if you so desire.
Best,
Zelene
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