Run, little sister, run

“It’s all going to come crashing down. Everything you have worked for, everything you take pride in is going to burn around you and there will be no power to stop it.”

Coming out of the dazed state that I had been in, I look around to see the rest of my family giving me apprehensive looks. 

“What? What happened?” I ask, gaining confusion by the minute.

“You zoned out Lily,” my mom says to me, her eyes show worry in them.

“What do you mean I ‘zoned out’ ?”

“Your eyes rolled up, your head fell back, and you weren’t answering to anyone calling out to you. You then started speaking. It kinda sounded like gibberish at first but then you spoke clearer.”

I look at my mom as she makes her way towards me. The look on her face and the increasing worry in her body language put my nerves on edge. What could have possibly happened that has made everyone look at me as if I had lost my mind?

My mom finally closes the distance between us and sits down beside me. “Baby girl, are you okay? What just happened?”

“I don’t know what you’re all talking about. I remember nothing. It’s like a blank piece of memory in my head.”

I grab onto her hand when she offers it to me and with her other, my mother rubs soothing circles on my back. I’m freaking out. Tightening my hold on my mom’s hand, I turn to her and ask the one question that has been bugging me since they told me about my ‘episode’.

“What was it exactly, that I said?” 

Looking around to the rest of my family gathered in this small room, everyone seems to duck their heads. I turn to each person, trying to get the truth out of them, but they all refuse to meet my eyes. 

I eventually land on my father, pleading with him to just tell me what the hell is going on. My father, knowing that he could never deny me anything, sighs with resignation and finally divulges the secret that no one seems to share with me.

“Honey,” my dad begins, “you said: It’s all going to come crashing down. Everything you have worked for, everything you take pride in is going to burn around you and there will be no power to stop it.”

Confused more than before, my face scrunches up the way my mother warns me not to, unless I wish for wrinkles.

I draw into myself to digest what they have just told me. The disorientation within my mind and the fear on these people’s faces make my heart race faster than it was before. The faster my heart races, the more painful it becomes to breathe and with that comes the dizziness and nausea of wanting to faint. Quickly releasing my mother’s hand and jumping to my feet, I race through the suddenly crowded room and out the door.

I don’t know exactly where I’m going. My mind floods with too many reels about the recent occurrence for me to distinguish which way is which. It’s not until I feel the sun on my face and smell the freshness of the air that I pull myself out a bit. I unconsciously made my way to the secret garden hidden behind our house. 

A calmness immediately enchants my body as I make my way around this hideaway. The uneasiness from before seems to fade from existence, with the memories that this corner of solitude holds replacing it. 

I remember when my sisters and I first discovered this place back when we were still just kids. We thought we must have surely dreamt up this phenomenon. How could our parents not tell us about this? Iris, my twin sister, wanted to tell mom and dad about this place that we had found. However, our younger sister Mary convinced us not to. She made an excellent point about keeping this garden a secret so we had a place to run to, to hide in and where we could just be ourselves. Where we could be free.

Since that first day of uncovering the garden, it became the world’s best-kept secret between three sisters. We used to come into this haven nearly every day. It truly became our little world.

Until the fateful accident that took Iris away from us, away from me. It has been about three years since her passing and I still have not fully recovered. Losing Iris was like losing a part of myself that I can never get back. Being twins gave us this remarkable ability to feel and absorb what the other was going through. That day, I felt pain and grief beyond any word I could use to describe it.

We don’t entirely know what happened that day, it’s been a bit of a mystery for me in terms of why and how it happened. Since her death, I haven’t stepped a foot inside this garden.

Well, until now, I suppose. Remembering the reason in which I came to be in this environment brings back all the anguish from before.

I can’t wrap my head around what had happened. I haven’t had that happen to me before now, at least I don’t think so. From the way they were describing it, it almost sounds like I was predicting the future.

I don’t believe that I am some magical being who can do that sort of stuff. Half the time I don’t even believe that those creatures exist. So what was so important that it occurred?

There wasn’t anything that had set this type of thing off. We were having a joyful celebration for Mary. She just got engaged to the sweetest boy that I have ever known. Tristan grew up with us, more so with Iris and me, as we were all the same age. He was this shy little boy that we one day decided would be our best friend. And boy, did he become our best friend. Then Mary grew up, and she joined our group of merry misfits, too. I’m happy that he and Mary could form a bond like no other. I think they found comfort in each other after Iris’ passing. Tristan and Iris were the closest out of all of us and honestly, I would put money on the fact that if Iris had still been alive, it would be their engagement we were celebrating. And not that of Mary’s.

Thinking of my dead twin in this sacred place brings a presence among me. It feels as if she is here with me. I close my eyes and lift my head to the sky, embracing the warmth I feel. Suddenly, the same feeling that entered my body earlier makes itself known again, and it’s like they have enriched me with feelings. I open my eyes, at least I think I do, when a jolt of pain and happiness runs through me. Standing before me is the reflection of myself that’s not the reflection of me. Tears overcome my eyes and emotions swirl through the air around me as I see this long ago lost figure.

“Iris.”

“Hello, baby sister.” Iris smiles at me and I have to blink twice to make sure I’m actually seeing her and not some figment of my imagination.

“Wh-? How? How are you here? Are you real?” I reach out a hand to hers, but it slips right through. Right, of course, her physical being isn’t here.

“Don’t worry, baby sister, I might not tangibly be here, but it’s all me. This is my soul coming to you. I am exactly who you think I am and who I always will be.”

“But why are you here, no, how are you here?”

“We have a rare gift, baby sister.”

“Iris, you were literally born five minutes before me. Stop calling me ‘baby sister’.”

“You will forever and always be my baby sister Lily.” 

The tears that were finally at bay waterfall down my cheeks again.

“I’ve missed you so much, Iris, unbelievable amounts.” I am full-on sobbing now, grieving for that lost sister and yearning for that lost piece of me. Iris’ eyes tear up, too. I didn’t know souls could cry, but here she is. My dead twin sister, crying in front of me.

“I miss you uncontrollably too, Lil. Though I’ve never truly left your side. I walk with you every day, go with you wherever you go. You’re my twin, the other half of my soul. I can’t be separated from you for long.”

“So that is you I feel with me! You’re always there with me!” I laugh through my sobs, knowing that my person will always be with me. I might not physically see her, but I feel her in everything I do.

“Wait, you said we have a rare gift? What gift are you talking about, Iris?”

“When twins are born, we are gifted with rare powers. You know, like how some twins always know what the other is thinking or how some can feel what the other feels?”

“Yeah, I understand where you’re going with this. We used to feel each other’s emotions.”

“Yes, that’s right,” Iris says. She takes a walk around the small garden and speaks while she looks at the stunning flowers.

“Along with that special gift, they blessed us with the rare gift of intuition, or you could say that we have a third eye. It is with this gift that I am here with you and why you have been having those blackouts.”

“But wait, if we supposedly have this gift, how come nothing came through while you were still alive?” I question Iris as she makes a full circle and comes back to me. She takes a seat on the tiny bench we placed here many moons ago and beckons me to follow suit.

“The gift only kicks in when we turn twenty-three and considering I died a month before, I didn’t get to experience it but you have.”

My head is swirling with the information that is coming to me. I can not believe what Iris is saying, although I feel that everything she says is the truth.

“Iris,” I say, turning to her and giving her my attention completely. “It’s been a couple of years since that birthday, so why am I only getting it now?”

“I’ve been trying to contact you, Lily. I had to work my way through to you, you had to open yourself up for me to reach you. That’s why you have been having those blackouts and those premonitions. They’re the results of me trying to push through. Until you came to this place Lil, this special place, that you fully accepted my presence and I could show myself to you.”

Iris looks around the surrounding area, and I do the same. I absorb all she has said and work to understand it in my brain and my heart.

“Does this mean that from now on, I can see you whenever I would like to?” Iris brings her attention back to me and searches my eyes. I’m not sure exactly what she is seeing, but I know she sees the raging curiosity and undying love in them.

“Yes, and no. You can see me when I need to make my presence known and when I need to open your eyes to something. Mainly when I need to open your eyes to the truth.”

“What truth are you talking about?” Iris’ expression changes to a sombre one. Sadness enters her eyes and misery coats her existential being.

“Iris? What truth?” She looks away from me. She takes a few moments to bring her focus back to the present.

“Iris?” I push. Something unsettling sits in my stomach, and I feel that whatever she is about to say will turn my world upside down. Finally, she seems to come back to me as I brace for this bomb to be dropped.

“The truth about my death Lily.”

My ears hear what Iris is saying, but my brain refuses to take it in. I look to Iris in shock, in confusion, in anguish. I don’t know what I’m feeling.

“What truth? Iris, you fell down the stairs…”

“Do you honestly believe that Lily?” She’s got a point there. Her fall has always seemed off to me as if there was more to the story. Lost for words, I signal Iris to continue.

“Long story short, leading up to my death I had been seeing Tristan secretly.” 

Iris divulges this truth to me, and who knows how many more surprises I can take today.

“What do you mean you were seeing him secretly? Iris! We’re best friends, sisters! Why didn’t you tell me?” She must see the heavy amount of hurt running through me as she tries to take my hand again, only to remember she can’t. Her face turns sympathetic as she explains what had been going on.

“It was a very stressful time for both him and me. We also didn’t want to ruin any of our friendships if it didn’t work out. Nevermind that, I’m running out of time”

“What do you-”

“Lily, please just let me finish before my time with you is up.”

The thought of her leaving so soon is painful, but I nod my head in silent agreement and wait for the rest of the story.

“Okay, as I said, we had been seeing each other. That day, however, I had found out that I was pregnant.” Well, that goes onto the list of shock reveals today. 

“I had told Tristan about the baby and it did not thrill him as I thought it would. He didn’t want to keep it, he just got that big promotion in Spain and couldn’t have a baby stop him from achieving his dream. I was angry. I told him I hated him and that I was keeping the baby. I turned to storm out the room when I found Mary by the door. She had heard everything. I ran past them both, turning with emotions. I was coming to find you when I felt a hard push from behind and I fell down the stairs.”

I was utterly speechless. I didn’t know how to process these words.

“Lily!” Suddenly I hear my mother’s voice from some distant part of my brain. I turn to Iris, but she’s already up and walking away.

“No, Iris! Don’t-”

“Lily, I love you so much. Now you know the truth and you know what to do. Until next time, baby sister.” And with that, Iris disappears.

“Iris!” I wake suddenly to see my mom’s face hovering over me. Disoriented, I look around and see that I was in the exact spot Iris had been.

“Mom? What happened?”

“Oh, honey! Are you alright? You were lying unconscious on the floor. Lily, I’m worried about you.”

I can hear her speaking, but I’m not listening. I’m still trying to catch my bearings from coming out of the blackout. Finally, adjusting myself to the new but familiar environment, I remember what Iris told me. Jumping up and grabbing my mom’s hand, I pull her through the garden and into the house.

“Lily, stop! I’m seriously worried about you!”

“Mom, I know you might not believe this, but I’m okay. All that has been happening was because Iris was trying to tell me something.”

“Honey, I really think you-”

“Mom, listen to me. She told me what happened the day she died. She told me who killed her.”

 And with that last statement, I push through the door to the room where my family gathered. The stares of these people are unrelenting. They heard me clearly, but I repeat it.

“I know who killed Iris.” 

There’s an audible gasp throughout the room, and then complete silence. The type where you could hear a pin drop. I start a deep stare into each pair of eyes surrounding me. My eyes go to my parents, cousins, aunts and uncles, but eventually land and stay on a pair that is eerily similar to mine.

“Mary,” I whisper her name, barely loud enough for the room to hear. I can see the emotions and questions jumping around her brain. I apologise over and over in my head for what is about to go down, but it can’t be stopped. Finally, I lay my eyes on my sister’s killer. 

The one person I swore would have been the protector, not the murderer. The person who can’t look at me because they know. They know I know, and my premonition from earlier is coming true. Everything is about to come crashing and burning down. With the image of my beautiful sister, her everlasting soul. I reveal the name that will change this family forever.

“Tristan.”