Of Demons and Wives

"You're Evan's wife aren't you? Evan Bernard's?"

Never before had I regretted saying yes to that question. I was proud of my husband and getting married to him made me happier than I could have ever imagined. The conversation started out nice enough. We exchanged the usual 'how do you do's' and I settled back into my chair as she claimed an empty one to my left. It wasn't really a hardship making conversation with the older lady and it was a dinner supporting my husbands career so I could be cordial to just about anyone if it meant Evan's success.

"Now when do you two think you're going to have children, dear?" That really was the beginning of the end, though I couldn't have seen that then.

"I'm not actually sure that's the direction we're headed," I answered not seeing the harm in being candid with the white haired woman. Respecting my elders and what not.

"Oh well, but why not?" The lady fussed. "Children just bring a marriage to new heights, don't you want to be a family? Aren't your parents disappointed there's no grandchildren yet?"

I could've said something about Evan and I enjoying a erratic lifestyle or that our home wasn't furnished with children in mind or not living in a child friendly neighborhood or anything other than what I chose to say.

"Well I don't have the closest relationship with my parents, so I wouldn't know about their disappointment. I think were family enough just the two of us right now and Evans mother pops by enough as it is." I said, trying to give the lady just enough personal information that she'd leave me alone. 

She looked a little affronted though I couldn't say what part of my statement had caused her to be, might've been my alluding to not adoring my mother-in-law I'm not positive. The lady looked at me as though I had eaten raw meat or had grown an extra head and continued to do so in silence until I was made thoroughly uncomfortable. I was starting to wish I'd not even come at all tonight when she shifted slightly in her seat. She turned her head a bit and something else caught her attention. I wasn't even able to get my hopes of escape fully formed before she started waving someone else over.

"Evelyn! Evelyn!" She called as she waved another white haired woman over to what had once been my sanctuary.

"Ah hello Susan. How are you doing? The Bernard's certainly do put together such a lovely event, don't you think?" Evelyn spoke once she was within a few steps of our table, not even bothering to glance my direction as she talked to her friend over my head.

"Evelyn, you must help me. This is actually Evan Bernard's wife and she's been spouting all kinds of nonsense, saying she doesn't want children! Oh Evie do say something to her," The lady, Susan spoke of me as though I was some lost cause on drugs or walking the street. Oh and of course now Evelyn looks over at me now that she knows I'm a disappointment.

"Oh but dearie, don't you want to be a proper family? What does your husband say on the matter?" Evelyn hopped right in where Susan had left off sitting down on my other side.

"Yes, oh yes. I wasn't even thinking about Mr. Bernard. Doesn't your husband want a little boy to play baseball with in the backyard? How can you deny him the joy of fatherhood?" Susan attacked.

It felt as though I was outside of myself now, like my past self was standing at the other side of the table free to leave and shaking their head at me. I didn't know how lightly I needed to tread around these ladies. I was scared to say anything for fear they would jump on and twist that too. There was a claustrophobia creeping up me like vines starting at my feet and tying me still to the place I was. It took me a moment to decide what my next words would be.

"I'm not saying I'll never be open to having children, nor is this solely my decision. Evan and I have discussed this a couple of times. We're still quite newly married and it's just not for us yet." I spoke carefully, nodding my head a little to agree with myself. They couldn't possibly twist that, could they?

The ladies both just looked at me, eyes calculating. I couldn't really tell where their heads were at. As they surveyed me I surveyed them right back trying to judge whether or not I was ever getting out of this corner. Susan continued staring me down, but Evelyn's face changed slightly. The only way I could describe is that she sort of looked like a predator preparing to lunge at it's prey.

"If you're so newly married I suppose that means you're still rather enthusiastic around each other, you know, in the bedroom. What happens if you fall pregnant?" She asked, her lips tilting up while her eyes took on a almost though carefully not condescending look. "Would you put your husband through the pain of an abortion? Are you really that terrible of a wife?"

It seemed twisting words was an art form and they were masters of their craft. These new accusations took me aback and seemed to give Susan a new fire. She excitedly waved another couple ladies over and they sat down.

"Darleen, Samantha you must weigh in over here. Evan Bernard's wife doesn't want children and is seriously considering an abortion if she got pregnant right now." Evelyn informed the two.

Both of them looked at me, stricken. One formed a cross over herself and muttered about unclean and holy spirits. The other simply smacked her hand against the table and smiled when I flinched away from it.

"Seems you're more monster than wife if you would even consider taking a life," shared the woman who'd hit the table.

"Exactly right Sammy dear," Evelyn nodded her head so frantically I thought surely her earrings couldn't stay put.

They all started talking about me to one another as though I wasn't even there. The one that must've been Darleen spent most of the conversation holding her rosary towards me and piping up about my demons every couple statements. I tried to scan my surroundings for my husband as I felt the looming presence of shame cover me. These women were really starting to get to me. I couldn't understand why they would call me a monster or a terrible wife or a mistake of a wife. I also couldn't just out and tell them that they were working on assumptions and false statements made by themselves. As I started to think Evan must've left me here entirely Samantha turned towards me and smiled, her teeth looking sharper than they should.

"Hey babe," Oh thank god, it was Evan. And with his presence the ladies scattered. "How is my lovely wife doing?"

He sat in the chair vacated by Evelyn and picked up my hand resting on the table. There was another man with him, but he remained standing and he seemed unimportant while I had my attention on my husband. Evan rubbed his thumb over my knuckle for a moment seemingly understanding I needed a moment before any introductions. The man shifted on his feet drawing Evans eyes away from my own.

"Madeline, this is my soon to be colleague Dr. Hernstead," my husband said with a gentle smile gracing his face. "I thought you might like to meet him and his wife."

"It's a pleasure," I reached my hand out.

"Likewise," Dr. Hernstead's voice was deep and quiet and he met my hand over the table. "If you'd like to meet my wife she's just across the room, she found a glass of champagne and decided to plop at the corner of the bar."

"I'd love to, thank you. I should've taken a cue from her, the bar sounds a hellova lot better than this corner." Evan met my eyes, concerned.

"You know Harold, I think we'll meet you over there if that's alright," Evan looked over to catch Dr. Hernstead nodding in agreement then turned back to me as soon as the doctor started heading towards a blonde woman at the bar. 

"Are you ok, Del? Really?" Evan asked searching my face. "Did you remember to take your meds earlier?"

"I don't remember taking them, so I must've forgot. There weren't any old ladies near me when you came over were there?" I looked down at the floor as I nearly whispered to Evan.

"No baby there weren't," He answered, a little solemn. Standing me up he pulled me close and kissed my lips soft and sweet. "Why don't we go introduce you to Harold's wife and then we can head home. Sound good?"

"Yeah, sounds perfect," I pressed my forehead to his briefly before pulling back again.

He led me from behind the corner table into the open water of the ballroom. As we walked over to the bar he moved his hand to cover shame's dark one on the small of my back. The three of us waved at Dr. Hernstead and his wife when the crowd parted to let us through. And as we were introduced I tried to avoid looking into Samantha's black eyes and at her shark toothed smile where she was gleefully perched behind the bar.