one lie, led to more...

First he said he was divorced, then he said he had a Phd., then he said he'd buy me a plane ticket when I went to see my brother on his 40th birthday....and so it goes, until I didn't know who he was and what to believe.

That was the beginning and then 29 years later, I am here and who knows what is true and what isn't. However, enough is true to know I live well, get plenty of exercise, fresh food is in the cupboard, and my hair gets done every month, color, cut, and blow dry.

I have to tell you, there are so many worse things than lying, but so many better things, as well. I am not sure I would do it again, but then it doesn't matter, 'cause right now, I am here and there you go.

I am singing and my record is playing, an old record from back in the day. When I was young, there were little white lies in my family. My mother told me many, my father told me a few. See said chocolate milk came from brown cows and I believed it. I was a kid! When my brother unbuttoned my pajamas to have a look, I could not tell anybody because the truth wouldn't come out of my mouth. I was unable to say the words, true or false, it didn't matter. Communication in my home was difficult. Maybe lies were better. No one wanted to know the truth and I could not speak the words.

When the rocking chair was broken after I returned from my vacation and I asked the children who broke the cane seat, they lied. They blamed the babysitter , Mrs. Norby. To his day, I have no idea who broke my antique rocking chair's seat. They still claim it was Mrs. Norby. Poor woman.

I am a person who likes the truth, but lives with lies. That is the extent of it. I am a living example of this situation. It is good, it is not good. When Mr. Cuomo resigned, he stood by his lies and we know this. It is not a pretty sight. Is this the American way? Probably, because Mr. Trump lied all of the time. He got elected on lies. Give me a break.

I like to tell my kids to live with integrity. They do this but it causes trouble in my family because some of the people who have entered the family do not like that. That is one problem. Not everyone is living by the same rules. It hurts. When someone says the truth, the person on the other end of the phone hangs up and doesn't call back for the rest of the day. The truth hurts. That is the bloody truth. The truth is difficult sometimes. It is embarrassing, it is uncomfortable, We, as humans, have a hard time with the truth, sometimes.

I haven't had a drink in 18 years because I drank too much once. That is the truth. There are a lot of other things I can say that is honest, but at this moment, I would rather not. Let's keep a few secrets and go on.

I will leave you with one last thought. I love children because they are honest. They just say whatever is so. Once, I was babysitting my two grandkids, 9 and 6 years old, and we went to the video store and rented some movies, back in the day. When we left the store, we had 10 videos for the weekend. It was a bit obscene. I said to my grandson, "Your mother would kill me if she saw how many movies we just rented.""

We kept walking with the stack of rented videos. Then I said, "Well, the cat's away and the mice will play." Then we went home.

That night my daughter called to see how the kids were doing. My grandson got on the phone and he said to his mother, "The cat's away, mama, and the mice are playing."

God, I remember when he said that. I laughed to myself because he got it!! And noone was the wiser or better or hurt. We had a swell weekend watching the movies and eating junk food and laughing and staying up too late and hanging out. They will remember that forever. Now, I'm not advocating lying, but what the heck, have a good time and hangout with your naughty grandma who broke the rules of good babysitting. No big deal.

There are bad lies and there are good ones. Some do not break your heart and some do. That is the big difference. I am not for the bad, break your heart types of lies, at all. I say, band those, big time! But when it comes to the little ones, no big deal. Who cares who broke the one seat on the rocking chair? Mrs. Norby, be damed. But please do not break my heart. I have only one. And it is fragile. And you know it. Integrity does count. This is my last word on the subject.

I am a woman who likes to think that the world is changing and more men will act right. I like to think that when you give your word, it holds up. I like to think when you promise something you follow through. It matters. We all know that. Otherwise, why give your word? I like to think my children and grandchildren will be decent, honest human beings. That is my dream and I will pray for this to be true. Because, in the end, honesty does matter, a whole lot!

Let the world get better anymore healthy. Let the no good politicians fall by the wayside. Let truth prevail. A few white lies, like pink cows make strawberry milk, can survive. I can live with that. "When the cats away, the mice will play." We know that, but it is no big deal! Just don't break my heart, please.