A New Dance

It was suddenly 7PM. Marnie steeled her nerves as she left her mattress and began sifting through her coat hangers in search of a different sweatshirt.

“Everything alright?” Her roommate asked, sitting up in her bed which was placed on the opposing side of the room. Marnie’s first week at boarding school had, at least so far, been enjoyable despite her initial dread upon arriving. Her new dread lay in confronting her parents after not returning their calls throughout the week. Unfortunately she too started to believe that boarding school could be a good opportunity for her, although she still doubted it would magically fix everything her parents thought was wrong with her.

“Yeah, just lost track of time.” Marnie replied as she threw on a forest green sweatshirt in front of the mirror. The putting-on process left her orangish hair a jumbled mess but she didn't bother to tidy it up before walking out the door.

“Have fun!” Her roommate said cheerfully before the door closed and clicked into place. As lucky as Marnie was to have been granted a kind and hygienic roommate, Sadie could be a bit much sometimes. The unwavering and raw energy she could tap into at any hour of the day defied logic and was something Marnie was still getting used to.

After descending to the first floor, Marnie entered the lounge and started towards the communal kitchen. She quickly spotted her friend Ellie standing outside the kitchen with a grocery bag in hand beside two other students Marnie did not recognize. As she approached and said hello she realized they were conversing with one of the faculty members, Helen, who also happened to be Marnie's supervisor. For a group of students to use the kitchen, they would need to make a reservation and have a faculty member present. Fortunately, Ellie sorted out both for their group and was explaining their plan to make brownies to Helen. Helen was probably the funniest and most lively among the faculty members and was not scared of becoming too involved with the students, especially those she supervised.

Marnie floated about as others spoke, feeling a bit awkward among the group. She had met Ellie through her fiber arts class and had briefly gotten to know her by working together on creating an entire dress out of fabric. Marnie was not too fond of group projects but felt more comfortable with how Ellie brought the group together, fostering both a productive and fun environment. Marnie was pleasantly surprised at how she actually looked forward to attending that class. She also had absolutely no clue as to why Ellie took a liking to her specifically but figured it wouldn't hurt to get out of her room once in a while.

“Alright gang, are we ready to bake some brownies?” Helen asked, wearing a smile. With a resounding wave of yes’s, they found themselves in the kitchen. The small cubicle could hardly contain five people and none of them seemed to have considered how simple the process of making brownies was. Helen checked the oven before setting it to preheat for the temperature listed on the back of the box, Ellie began coating a pan with cooking spray, and Marnie and Ellie’s friends, Daysha and Mabel, began mixing two eggs, vegetable oil, and two tablespoons of water along with the chalky brownie mix. She was not sure what to make of Daysha and Mabel, they seemed fine on the surface, but she could not see herself hanging out with them.

“You're Marnie right? It’s nice to meet you,” Mabel began, holding out a hand towards her while Daysha further mixed the brown substance with a large wooden spoon.

“Yeah, and you're Mabel?” Marnie said “I remember hearing both Daysha and Mabel earlier but am not sure which is which.”

“Yeah I'm Mabel, and the one mixing the bowl is Daysha.” Mabel replied with a slight chuckle, Daysha waved with her free hand as she continued mixing the already mixed substance. Are we just going to let her keep going or is someone going to relieve her of her duty? Marnie thought about doing it herself but Daysha seemed to be really into what she was doing with an almost impenetrable focus. “So I heard you're really good at sewing, is it your passion or something?” Huh? What was Ellie telling these people? Is that what it seemed like to her? Marnie had only sewed occasionally when her mother asked her to take over but she had picked up on a few things from watching her work tirelessly on hand crafted gifts for their relatives every year.

“Kinda, I don’t have much experience with sewing though,” Marnie replied, lying as she hoped the conversation would stray away from this topic. The last thing she wanted was to be known as the grandma who enjoyed knitting, sewing, and whatever else old people do for fun.

“Oh please, no need to be humble. I've seen you work. You're basically a professional!” Ellie chimed in from the sink as she hand-washed five plates and five spoons for later. Good lord, please help me, and who in their right mind eats brownies with a spoon over a fork? Marnie was about to reply and try to put this conversation to rest but Daysha spoke first, finally releasing her clutch on the wooden spoon.

“Really! There was this cool hat I found on Pinterest; do you think you could make it?” Daysha pulled out her phone and began swiping and scrolling through at a rapid pace. Marnie was just as shocked at the request as she was at the fact that they thought sewing was interesting. As she searched through her phone Marnie contemplated on whether she would tell the truth or continue to lie. She did not foresee it going this far and already felt hot with embarrassment. Ellie poked her head around Daysha’s shoulder before really examining the screen once she stopped scrolling.

“Oh she could absolutely make that!” Ellie exclaimed as Daysha flipped the phone around to Marnie, revealing a bucket hat covered with an abstract-esque rectangular pattern colored yellow, light blue, pink, and dark blue. Mabel positioned herself behind Marnie to get a good view of the hat as well. As cool as the hat looked, Marnie had absolutely no idea how she was going to make the hat if she decided to keep up the lie. Even if she did, it would likely come out awful. There was just no way. As she met Daysha’s eyes, brimming with excitement and hope, she struggled to find the words that voiced how she really felt. Sensing Marnie’s hesitation, Daysha quickly interjected.

“If it’s about the money, I can pay for the materials and all that. I don’t have much but I should be able to cover it.” Marnie had been silent for too long. Feeling everyone's eyes watching her, she made her decision.

“Okay okay, I will make the hat. I have never made a hat before so no promises on how it will turn out though,” Marnie replied, hoping that nobody could see through her and her supposed knack for the fiber arts. Nobody seemed to have been able to, except for Helen who Marnie had forgotten was even in the room. She had been uncharacteristically quiet and stood with her arms crossed by the sink while the four conversed, meeting Marnie's watchful eyes with a pondering nod.

“Thank you so much, this really means a lot to me,” Daysha said as she clasped Marnie's hands together with her own. Marnie felt like she had been on autopilot for the rest of the night as she tried to fully take in what just happened, wishing she had just stayed in her room until she drifted off.

*

The following morning Marnie awoke with a daunting reminder on her phone. As she received a text from Daysha, completely forgetting that they exchanged phone numbers. Why had she even agreed to try to make the hat? Especially considering it was for someone she literally just met? Regret and stress bubbled within her as she sunk further into the comfort of her bed. She thought for a bit about a way out of the situation but none of the paths seemed viable and apparently sewing a bucket hat was among the more beginner friendly items one could sew. Putting all that aside, she still needed access to a sewing machine and the materials needed to recreate the design. She didn’t plan on putting a lot of effort into it. Besides, if the hat did turn out poorly, they were unlikely to ask her to create “the next thing” as if she were a machine or something.

Marnie reluctantly left the warmth of her bed as she began getting ready for her morning study hall at 8:00 in the freaking morning. Turns out you can’t just become a morning person off of sheer desire alone. How she wished she had been wise enough to sign up for an evening study hall later in the evening instead. She was sure her roommate would appreciate it just as much as she would as Marnie heard her turn around in her bed. She was not kidding about being a light sleeper, even when she woke up before her alarm went off Sadie’s head would always shoot up like a weasel poking out its head from the ground at the slightest sound. The best Marnie could do was to at least not dilly dally when getting ready in the morning.

*

After a series of Youtube videos and a couple of Google searches Marnie found herself working with a relaxing rhythm. Oh how it felt to finally have something she could hold. It was as if these last two hours had set off an explosive chain reaction that defined the connection between what she knew and what she had just learned. She had been able to form the two core pieces of the hat, the top and the sides, and looked back at a helpful video in recalling how she would connect the two. It was strange being in the art room outside of her class period. She had only ever been in the earthy smelling room when it was noisy and packed with the students from her fiber arts class. While the room was still quite packed, the room took up a new life as students of various grade levels and backgrounds worked diligently on things she couldn't have conceptualized on her own. A few theatre students worked on some funky looking clothing in a corner of the room with the art teacher close by, one student was building some absurd thing out of what looked like metal wires, a student worked with cardboard on a large 3d figure, and some others intensely focused on making the hundred thousandth bowl out of clay. Marnie felt small and insignificant as she stitched and sewed away at her little bucket hat in the corner of the room. How foolish it was to have let Ellie’s boasting of her being a “professional” get to her head. As small as she felt, she couldn't help but let invigoration course through her. The world seemed backwards with how painstakingly cool these students seemed. She felt a deeper gratitude for Helen, who had reached out to inform her of the art room being open today. She would need to thank her later.

“That looks pretty good Marnie.” The art teacher said, looking over her shoulder. When had she wandered over here?

“Thanks,” Marnie said. Surely she was just saying that. Anyone with a stable internet connection and the right resources could create what she was making.

“Is this for a different art class?” The teacher asked, taking a seat on the chair next to her as she gently picked up and inspected the top part of the hat. Has she always had such worn out hands? How had Marnie not noticed that before? Wait, could my hands look like that?

“No, it’s for a friend. Does it need to be?” Marnie asked, wondering if she should have checked with the teacher before getting right to work.

“No of course not! I didn’t know you were interested in sewing. Do you sew frequently?”

“Not really. I somehow found myself needing to create this hat for someone,” Marnie replied, not wanting to get caught up in another lie. Especially with an art teacher who could easily detect bullshit.

“I see,” The art teacher said, a faint trace of disappointment in her voice. “Well, the art room is open Monday through Friday from 2:30 to 5:30 after classes. Feel free to stop by whenever, even if you just want to sit and scroll through your phone or something.” As she walked away Marnie felt unsatisfied with how the conversation had gone. Did she really want to say she was interested in sewing? She wasn't, was she? But could she?