Dear Journal, I might Go Crazy

Day One

Dear diary, 

Writing out the words “dear diary” makes me feel like a little kid. I haven’t journaled like this since I was young though, so it doesn’t feel completely strange to start up where I left off. Except now, I am an adult, tracking a personal challenge for myself in this notebook that I’ve had sitting on my bookshelf for the last couple of years. It’s time to put it to good use. Anyway, I’m going to try to stay off of my phone for an entire month. It sounds nearly impossible, but I know I can do it if I work really hard at it. My goal is to stay away from staring at my phone screen this month, so that in the future I will feel a lot less indulged in wasting time scrolling through it. 

I know I could be getting a lot more done, and lying in bed for hours at a time staring at my phone screen is really doing some damage to my mental state. I’m just going to be completely honest in these entries since no one will ever read them. I might even burn this journal or throw it into the river after the month is over. Without my phone, I might lose my mind a little bit. 

Let’s see how this challenge goes. I’ve shut my phone down and put it in a small box in the back of my closet, and texted my family and friends to let them all know not to worry about me when I don’t answer and told them to stop by when they feel like seeing me or want to make sure I’m still alive. This all feels so old fashioned; I think it will be a fun experiment. 

Day Two

Hey Journal, 

I’ve gone one whole day without going on my phone! This is so exciting. I realize one day doesn’t seem like a super long time, but this is my phone we are talking about. How many people do I know who would choose to go a whole day without going on their phone once? None. I know zero people who would be as crazy as me to do this. It helps that I’ve been busy. I haven’t had to kill time all day, but I am afraid for when I do have time to kill. Will it be harder then? 

Day five

I’m starting to dread this, 

What I meant to say was, HEY JOURNAL, LIFE IS GREAT!!!

Well, that is kind of a lie, and I said I would be truthful and honest in these entries, so here it goes. Living without my phone is hard, harder than I’d thought. As much as I hate to admit it, it feels like a piece of me is missing. I can get over this though, overcome it even. This challenge has not broken me yet! 

Day thirteen 

Hey, 

I’ll admit it, things are going much better than I thought they would since my last entry. Sorry about that by the way, I would use my endless scrolling as an excuse, but I can’t do that anymore. So, the truth is, I went fishing. Yes, fishing. I don’t even like fishing usually, but without the option of getting on my phone when I was bored, I had to go down the list of activities I could do, and I thought I might as well put dads’ old hand-me-down fishing gear to use. So far, I’ve finished reading a book that I started sometime last year, completed an entire 1,000-piece puzzle, gone fishing, and went for a run in a park an hour from my house. I even met these two guys at the fishing spot and got along with them pretty good. We are all going fishing together on Saturday. Living without my phone is liberating. I feel kind of free, but there is still a piece missing. I have nothing to hold in my hand all day and haven’t talked to my friends in two weeks now. I see them out and about sometimes but haven’t talked to them like usual. 

Day 18

Hi There Diary, 

I went to my lovely friend, Arias’, with a bunch of snacks and took her for a picnic in the park nearby. It was a fun surprise for her, and without the distraction of my phone I was able to just spend time with her. She opted out of bringing her phone along with us to make me feel better about this situation, how kind of her. I had to memorize the grocery shopping list today. Now that I think about it, I could have written it all down, but I’ve proven that I like to challenge myself. Tomorrow I’m going fishing with those two guys I met last week. Wish me luck. 

Day 19

I Think I’m in Love, 

Oh, you thought I meant with one of those guys? No way! We are just fishing buddies. I’m in love with my new life, without my phone. I might just leave it locked up in that box forever. Who needs one? Not me. 

I spent the whole day outside today. Sure, I got attacked by a squirrel and had to get a rabies shot and stepped on a piece of chewing gum in my new shoes, but that’s just life without a phone, weird things happen. 

I’m really enjoying fishing lately. I wouldn’t like it much if it was just me out on the water with my rod and some bait, but hanging out with Phil and Dan while fishing is a lot of fun. They are really funny and have been teaching me how to fish properly. 

Day 25

Dear Journal, 

Hey, so, it’s been a rough few days. I get bored really easily, if you haven’t noticed, and doing something all of the time is getting tiring. I guess I could try to relax some for the rest of the month. I only have five days left of this challenge. I wonder who I will be at the end of it. Will I even want to be on my phone anymore after all of this, after what I know now? I know one thing for sure is I am definitely going fishing with Phil and Dan again, they were fun. I should get their numbers once my phone is back in my life, then we can keep in touch. 

Day 29

Hello There Dearest Journal, 

Wow, just one more day left. It’s hard to believe I did it. I’d like to thank my parents, who never once showed up to my house or wrote me a letter to check in on me during my challenge. They had absolutely no contact with me this whole month, and I guess they were fine with it. I’d like to also thank Phil and Dan, for helping me get through this hard time with the art of fishing. They taught me everything I needed to know to catch two whole fish this month. I wonder if we will continue our fishing adventure past this month, only time will tell. Lastly, I can thank my cat, Jellybean, for keeping me such great company. 

I think the need for having a phone has disappeared. I think I could do without one. I might check in tomorrow, and if I don’t, that means I threw this embarrassingly childish journal off a bridge, or a cliff, or I burned it. So, farewell, maybe. 

Day 30

Goodbye Journal, 

I am going to throw you off a cliff now. I drove an hour away to give you a proper goodbye. You served me well this month, but I don’t need you anymore. Thank you, and goodbye forever.