The Bitter Aftertaste of a Sweet Revenge

Eva was mad. Like an addict who couldn't get her fix, kind of mad. Aiden had tossed out all her junk food. Again! Seemed like she could never hide them from him. He looked into every cupboard, shelf, and desk drawer, to find anything with too much sugar, salt, or artificial colors. The usual suspects were gummy bears, M&M’s, small bags of chips, and little Hostess cakes. Sometimes he would find new things, like cookies covered in frosting and sprinkles that looked almost too cute to throw away.

"Why?" Eva inquired. "They're poison, Eva. You need to stop this. You've got a problem, and you know it," Aiden responded.

But after five years of marriage, Eva wanted Aiden to simply accept her addiction to junk food. After all, he knew more about the trials and tribulations she had gone through to kick her habit than anyone else in her life.

"You know well that I've tried EVERYTHING but nothing has worked," Eva said with a lump in her throat. It was true. Talk therapy, group classes, medical interventions, and even alternative medicine with its pricey herbs and supplements. Eva had tried them all.

"I'm just possessed. Possessed by food."

"You always say this, and I'm not sure if you're being funny or just want to annoy me," Aiden said.

"I'm not being funny. I NEED this stuff. You don't know how it feels and I don't know how to describe it," Eva said as she sat on the couch.

Aiden turned towards her. She looked like she was genuinely in pain. It hurt him that he was not able to help her. He sat next to her. "Look, you know I do this because I want you to be healthy. Because I love you," he said in a soft tone.

"But sometimes love is not enough. I need a solution," Eva said while avoiding his gaze.

"Like what, Eva? You name this 'solution' and I'll be there to support you."

Eva knew he meant it. He had always supported and encouraged her with therapy. Perhaps now was the time to tell him about the Facebook post she had seen. It was from a group she belonged to, named 'Food Addicts Forum', and it was about curing addictions through past life regression.

 "Aiden," said Eva, as she felt a sudden pounding of her heart. "I saw a post the other day about something that may cure addictions, and I would like to try it."

 "Nice. What is it?"

 "Past life regression."

 "You must be joking," Aiden said with a big grin. "You can't possibly be that desperate."

 "I am that desperate, Aiden. Plus, why not be open-minded? Who knows, maybe it'll work. I have nothing to lose at this point."

 "Well, besides time and money, that is. These sorts of things are usually scams."

"It's not that expensive and the guy who does it is a licensed psychologist. I've already checked his background online. He has a lot of patients who claim to have been cured of different addictions through past life regressions. And he's got some really good reviews."

There was a long pause. Then, Aiden said, "If this is what you want to do, then do it. But I'll come with you to make sure this guy is not a perverted creep who wants to take advantage of my beautiful wife."

Eva's face lit up.

"Deal......and thank you, my love!" she said looking straight into his eyes.

When Eva and Aiden arrived at the psychologist's office the following week, they were puzzled, and somehow relieved, that they were the only ones in the waiting room. "We try to book patients hours apart for privacy reasons," the receptionist told them.

"Excellent notion," responded Aiden.

While Eva and Aiden sat waiting to be called in, they did not talk. Nor did they look at each other. Somehow, they both knew that they just wanted to get this meeting over with.

When the waiting room door opened, an elderly man with a head full of silver hair stepped out. "You must be Eva! "

“Yes! Hi, Dr. Godner! I’ve read a lot of good things about you.”

“Oh boy!” said Godner with a wink.

Godner took them to a room with a sofa and a couple of comfy-looking chairs. The room was devoid of windows and decorations. The lights were dim. Suddenly, Eva felt a shiver all over her body.

“Do you need a blanket?” asked Godner. It must’ve been so obvious, Eva thought.

“No, I should be fine. It’s just nerves,” Eva said as she laid down on the couch. 

“Nervous is normal. That’s what I say to all my patients. But do try to relax because it’s essential for what we’re about to do. And please know that there’s nothing to be afraid of. You will not be leaving your body. You will be here with us. You will always be in control. We’re merely searching for memories.”

Eva nodded.

“Now, I went through your chart and saw that you’ve had a love affair with junk food for most of your life,” Godner said.

“That's a nice way of putting it,” Eva said with a smile.

“Well, if it’s something that’s bothering you, we need to find out the underlying reasons. Oftentimes, addictions are repercussions of past events. Things that happened to us in our past lives that we’re completely unaware of in this life. That’s what we’re trying to find out today,” Godner said. He then briefly explained the process of hypnosis.

Godner’s soft-spoken voice and gentle manner of explanation, helped Eva relax in the chair. “Now, close your eyes and take a few minutes to breathe in and out slowly,” he said.

After a few minutes of the breathing exercise, Godner said, “I’m going to count backward from 10 to 1. As I count, let my voice guide you and take you back to your childhood. To your earliest memories. Tell me the first thing that you see.”

Godner counted, and almost immediately, Eva said, “I’m hiding under a bed. I’m terrified.”

“Why are you terrified?” Godner asked.

“Because I stole a small chocolate cake that Mom had bought for Dad’s birthday. We were supposed to surprise him after dinner. She had told me not to touch it.”

“About how old are you?”

“Six.”

“And how is your relationship with your parents?”

“I love them, and they love me. No doubt about that. But I’m always hiding bad food from them.”

“How do you feel?”

“Ashamed,” Eva said.

“Why ashamed?”

“Because I’m not supposed to do it. Because I’m a bad girl.”

“Let’s go further back now, back into past lives. I’m going to count backward from 10 to 1. Let my voice guide you to a past life. Tell me the first thing that you see.”

Godner counted backward and asked, “What are you seeing?”

Eva did not respond. A few minutes passed and Godner repeated the question. Still nothing. Aiden shifted nervously but resisted the temptation to ask Godner if she was all right, or if they should stop.

“It’s so lush,” Eva finally said.

“What’s so lush? Where are you?” Godner asked.

“In a beautiful garden. Wow…..it’s so beautiful,” Eva said.

“How do you feel?”

“I feel….I feel love. I love everything around me.”

“What’s around you?”

“Trees. Lovely fruit trees.”

“What else do you see?”

“A red fruit…..a red apple. I’m holding it. Eating it. It’s delicious.”

“Is there anyone with you?”

“No…but….but,” Eva said as she started to frown and look upset.

“But what?”

“A black serpent is coming my way,” Eva said as she started shaking her head.

“How do you feel as the serpent comes your way?”

“Scared. Very scared.”

“Why?”

“The serpent knows.”

“Knows what?”

“I was not supposed to bite the apple. It was forbidden.”

“Who said it was forbidden?”

“I don’t know……I don’t know,” Eva said as she started crying.

“It’s okay to be confused and sad,” Godner said.

“Maybe a higher power. I don’t know. I just know I’ve done something very bad,” Eva said as tears rolled down her eyes.

“That’s okay. It’s something that happened in the past. You can leave it behind.”

“But…they didn’t let me enjoy the apple. It’s not fair. They shamed me. They lied to me. I’ll get my revenge,” Eva said with a profound frown.

“That’s right, they didn’t let you enjoy that delicious red apple. They shamed you for it. Not a bit, but a lot. That’s why you came back into this life to eat everything that reminded you of that apple. That delicious red apple,” Godner said.

Eva nodded, as tears kept flowing down her cheeks.

“But you’ve already got your revenge. You’ve consumed all that was considered bad or forbidden in this life. It’s time to let go of anything that reminds you of this revenge. It’s all good now. There’s no forbidden food. No good or bad. All food is beautiful and delicious. And you will eat anything you desire. Anything that nourishes you.”

Eva nodded.

“Now, I’m going to count from 1 to 10. Let my voice guide you to bring you back to the present moment. Make sure you leave the revenge, shame, fear, and serpent behind,” Godner said as he counted. He then gently tapped Eva’s forehead and asked her to open her eyes.

“What did just happen?” Eva asked.

“You experienced a past life and described it beautifully. I hope you now know the reason behind your junk food addiction,” Godner said.

“But….I can’t believe I was Eve in a past life. It’s just not possible. I’m not religious. I don’t even know if she ever existed,” Eva said.

“Even if there was no Eve, there have been Eve-like figures throughout history. Maybe she was just a metaphor. Who knows. I personally never say never!” Godner said with a smile.

Godner then explained that souls were neither created nor destroyed. They merely moved from one physical body to another. Oftentimes, a soul’s memories were not passed. But sometimes, some bodies or brains picked on specific memories. Especially if they were meaningful or traumatic for the soul.

“Your brain is highly sensitive and held on to the Eve incident. Sometimes people’s brains are wired differently, and therefore, they don’t recall past events readily. But we all have lived many lives. Many of us have been historical and famous figures. Some of us have those memories on a subliminal level. Some don’t. I know it’s too much information to digest. But that’s not the point of this regression. The point is for you to forgo your food obsessions. If you could only remember one thing from this session, it should be that there’s no good or bad when it comes to food. Eat what pleases and nourishes you, and most importantly, listen to your body.” 

“That's the most palatable diet advice I’ve ever received, Dr. Godner. I will do my best,” Eva said.

Godner’s kind eyes confirmed what she said. 

He then turned to Aiden and said, “I also need your help, young man! Please let her eat what she wants. Don’t judge or interfere with her daily food intake. Even if she eats junk one day, she may notice that her body craves fresh food the next. Let her body and conscious tell her what to eat. Not guilt or shame. That only backfires,” Godner said.

“It makes sense, Doctor. Sort of like reverse psychology, right?”

“Exactly,” Godner said.

They said goodbye and Godner wished them luck. 

One year later at Godner’s office.

 The receptionist is going through e-mails and finds one that she prints out for Godner.

“Dr. Godner, we got this email this morning. It’s from a patient of yours. I thought you may be interested in reading it,” the receptionist said as she handed him the printout.

It read:

Dear Dr. Godner:

I can’t thank you enough for helping me beat my junk food addiction! When I came to you a year ago, I was desperate and, honestly, you were the last resort. I must admit that I was hesitant to participate in a past life regression. I’m neither religious nor spiritual.

But after the ‘Eve incident,’ I took your advice for not judging food as good or bad. I simply let my body tell me what it craved. At first, it was mostly junk food. After allowing myself to have all the junk food I wanted (WITHOUT guilt or shame), my body started craving other food. Like fresh produce, believe it or not. As you suggested, I started seeing all food as a source of pleasure and nourishment. The progress has been wonderful!

These days, I rarely buy junk food because I don’t crave it anymore. (Correction: my body doesn’t crave it anymore!)

I wish and hope that those with food obsessions or eating disorders can be as lucky as I have been in finding out the underlying reasons for their disorders. Perhaps they also suffer from an ‘Eve complex’! And if that’s the case, I hope that they realize that the shame and guilt they have felt toward food has always been a lie. There’s no good or bad when it comes to food. There’s only pleasure and nourishment, and the only truth-teller is the body itself!

Sincerely yours,

Eva

P.S. Aiden says hi and thanks you for saving him from being my full-time junk food investigator!