In The Morning Light

The earlier days of the apocalypse was only chaos. Death and smoke gripped the air, I could feel it stale all around me. It coated my skin, my clothes, my hair. 

Fear pulsed through every vein. Terror gripped every muscle. Dread gnawed every brain. It was melted into the eyes of everyone you passed.

When would it happen to me? When will I watch it happen to someone I love? What could we have done differently? Thoughts that would plague my mind over and over, my new reality.

The dead no longer stayed dead and those bitten became deranged, unreachable. They would rip out their hair, scream into the night, pick the skin off their bones until they would be covered in dark bloody scabs that never seemed to heal. 

The worst was when they came for you. Their eyes empty pits as they chased after you with never ending endurance and unnatural speed. Nothing like seeing a crippled old woman hit by a truck going 40 MPH only to rise again un-phased. Keeping pace with a teenager as she drags her mangled foot behind her. 

The only advantage left was the inability to use their brains. They couldn’t climb ladders or trees, they couldn’t open doors, or sneak through windows. And in this world we had to use every advantage we could get. 

In those early days everyone still held onto their humanity, the memories of their old life still fresh. I remember thinking that things may eventually go back to normal eventually where my biggest problem was maybe forgetting my lunch at home or something as juvenile as what to wear to my meeting.

However everything this new world touched was tainted. Cities burned, homes abandoned, our population destroyed leaving only a handful of us left. Fortunate would not a word I would use for the survivors. 

What I was fortunate for however, was the group I had found a few months prior. They were mostly good people in present standards. We didn’t rob from the living, we didn’t murder the innocent, or strike down the weak. We took care of one another and watched each others back. Everyone pulled their weight from going on supply runs, to working the garden, to gathering firewood. 

The group consisted of fifteen of us who camped deep in a national forest near Colorado Springs. The supply runs were little more than a days trip and our traveling group consisted of three people always. I would go as often as I could preferring to stay on the move to keep my shifting thoughts at bay. 

We always played it safe and quiet, successfully making it five month without losing a member. This should have brought me an ounce of comfort, that it has been awhile since we lost someone so it must mean we were getting wiser. Although all I could think to count on was luck and any day that luck would eventually run out and disaster would strike.

We were camped out in some loft apartments bordering the forest. Paul was on watch duty while Libby slept on the couch adjacent to mine. I remember falling asleep with blankets wrapped around me that reminded me of a moldy scent that use to cling to clothes that were left in the washer longer than they should have been. It use to bother me using strangers belongings like their clothes or blankets. Especially when the entire place still smelled of old cigar smoke. However I came to be grateful for the comfort of being in a semi safe, warm spot for the night. 

I woke with a jerk, jarring myself out of my typical reoccurring nightmare. Sweat forced my dark hair to cling to my forehead. Panting, I mindlessly reached for the weapon beside me. My hands found only a butcher knife I snagged from the kitchen before falling to sleep. Remembering I had given Paul my handgun for his rotation of watch since it was less bulky than the shotgun he often slugged around.

I tried to calm my racing heart but something had just felt wrong. I looked over seeing Libby’s still sleeping form. I started to stand wondering how long I had been asleep, surely Paul was well past his shift. I reached the window, pulling back the blinds to find gray light pouring through the opening. My heart sank. Paul was suppose to wake me hours ago. I didn’t see him anywhere in the still dark living room. 

I silently walked over to Libby and gave her a gentle shake before stepping back knowing she slept with a knife under her pillow. She sat up with a gasp, her blond hair frizzing out from her worn braid. “Something is wrong, Paul should have woken me hours ago.” She stared at me blankly, my words taking a few seconds longer to comprehend as she shook sleep from her mind. 

“Where is he?” She asked blinking vigorously, her green eyes roamed the shadows of the living room. I had liked Libby from the moment I met her a few months prior she had found us on her own, days after losing her partner to a minor infection that would have only required a throughout cleaning and maybe a few antibiotic before the outbreak. I’ve never asked but she couldn’t be much younger than me, her youth apparent in her round cheeks. Paul on the other hand was well older than us bother, he looked closer to my fathers age. Grey hairs dusting his hair and reaching down into his beard. It was out of character for him to wonder off on his own. We survived by following strict rules, rules that I know that he knew because I had gone on more runs with Paul than anyone else in the group. 

“I’m not sure, help me look around?” She nodded and tossed her blanket to the side, wobbling a bit as she stood. Once we were sure that he was no where inside my cold panic really did begin to take hold.

We quickly gathered our limited supplies. I carried Paul’s shotgun and bag with mine, thankful that he had always packed light. 

Outside the light from the sun began to coat everything in a golden hue, the chilled damp air hung from everything from the night before. I moved as silently as I could, keeping my eyes peeled for any sign of Paul. It was mornings like this that seemed to deceive you and hide the horrors of the world we lived in. 

I would have loved a day like this before the outbreak. The birds chirping, the air smelling of fresh pine, The clouds peacefully drifting through the sky.

If only a heavy sense a dread didn’t cling around me throat like a noose. I rounded the corner of one of the buildings with Libby close behind. Before me stretched a courtyard, A few trees stretched tall casting long shadows. The trees were surrounded by a few dry patches of grass and shrubs. I had to shift my head a bit to the right but I saw him standing there, maybe fifty feet away. His name was on the tip of my tongue, it was nearly out of my mouth in a whisper before something slammed my jaw shut. 

The way he stood gave me pause. His neck seemed to hang from his shoulders. The way he stood, his arms dangling empty at his sides, unmoving.

I began to reach out to stop Libby but before I could she slammed into me. The knife she gripped in her hand clanged loudly through the still air into the shotgun strapped to my back.

The breath in my lungs left me like someone had just punched me in the stomach. I looked to where Paul stood horror clogged in my throat as his head whipped towards us. What had happened next came in a blur. Minutes passed in seconds, my body numb as my instinct took control of my muscles. I grabbed Libby’s arm and began to sprint as fast as I could. We ran across a street, hearing Pauls footfalls quickly gaining on us, I refused to turn around. I didn’t trust blindly running into one of dark doorways that could hold any number of threats. Instead my eyes scanned for anything we could climb. 

Relief spread over me as I spotted a ladder that hung from one of the buildings. I urged Libby ahead of me letting her climb the ladder first as I turned, planting my feet. I raised the rifle cocking it back before aiming it at Pauls head. 

I fired before my fear could choke me, his nearness unsettled me. He dropped hard to the ground unmoving and lifeless. His body skidding against the pavement, twisting unnaturally as it landed. I turned climbing the ladder after Libby my mind played over what I saw before the bullet ripped through Paul. 

In a flash I saw blood that coated Pauls throat but not from a bite, it looked more like a slash from a blade. I tried to focus on the placement of my hands on the rungs of the ladder but my mind buzzed. 

Finally reaching the top I froze overlooking onto the roof where Libby stood motionless. Before her stood a man, his hands reached out before him as if he were trying to calm a spooked animal. Without thought I pointed the rife directly at him. Below me I was faintly aware of the infected down below gathering at the base of the ladder. Their frenzies, gargled sounds reaching my ears. However all my focus was on the man on the roof. His attention turned to me and in that instance shock radiated through me. 

I knew this man.

I recognized his dark brown eyes from another lifetime ago. When his eyes didn’t hold circles bags and his skin seemed to hang from his bones. He had worked in my department, for years we had walked the same halls and attended the same meetings. His name formed on my mouth without though as I slowly lowered the rifle.

“Jesse?” His eyes widened at the sound of his name, he lowered his arms. He looked different, almost unrecognizable as he stared back at me. 

Libby and I joined him on the roof, Libby silently sat, staring blankly ahead towards the slow moving clouds. I however stood with Jesse staring over towards the small town that was now crawling with infected. Their screams and snarls echoing through the streets below. 

“Bad call firing the rifle.” Jesse said. His word came out a harsh whisper. His tone disturbed me. No person was the same after the outbreak but something about Jesse seemed off. Hysteria seemed to have set into his once warm eyes. His jerky movements made me feel as if he was close to the edge of insanity. 

This man was not the one I had known in my life prior. I wanted to take Libby and leave as soon as I could but the streets below were unsafe. I tried to calm my nerves and talk soothingly to the man giving no indications to my fear other than the bullet already loaded into the chamber. 

“I know I regret it now… but I just wanted to give us enough time to reach the ladder.” 

His hand twitched at his side. “Well look what you did.” He angrily pointed at the street below. When he moved his arm my gaze drifted to his hip where a gun poked from waistband. I had noticed it before however now I could see it now in detail. I inhaled a sharp breath as realization soaked in. I grabbed the shotgun slowly bringing it around to my front. The motion caused his head to snap in my direction. 

“Where did you get that gun?” I asked my voice coming out shaky. Anger twisted his face as he grabbed it the same second I took aim with the rifle. Libby stood swiftly at the quick change of our position. The gun he held was my gun, the one that I had given to Paul the night prior. 

“I found it.” Jesse said, his voice coming out in a snarl. The image of Paul running towards me replayed in my mind. His throat slit. 

“You killed Paul.” I said bothered by how my voice quivered. Jesse shook his head hard as if he were trying to shake a thought out of his head. His arm twitched again. Nausea rolled up my throat, terrified of this crazed man before me. His face kept twitching and he jerked again, using his free hand to wipe the sweat from his forehead. I have seen my share of evil men in this world but something about Jesse was different. That is when I saw it, a trickle of blood running down his forearm. Poking out from his sleeve was just the outline of a bite mark. 

“You’re infected aren’t you Jesse.” Anger contorted his face again as I said his name. He was on the edge of turning… I could see that now. His twitch movement, his sunken eyes, his pale, sweat soaked skin. All signs that a person was infected. I placed my hand on the trigger ready to pull it, well aware that if I fired the then he would too. We would most likely both go down and Libby would be alone. However at least she would be alive. 

“Don’t do this… please..” My voice came out hoarse, pleading. Just then something shifted in his eye. Clarity. For just a brief moment the old, kind Jesse I knew was there. 

“I’m sorry.” He looked scared. Then he pulled the gun back aiming it at his own head and fired. The force knocked him sideways and I watched as his body tumbled over the side of the roof. 

Libby let out a shriek as I stood in silent horror, my hand clamped over my mouth. I ran to the edge peering over at his disfigured body as it lay three stories down. It took only seconds for the horde to surround him and began ripping into his flesh. I stepped back nearly tripping on thin air. I seen some dark things, I was no stranger to tragedy. However it was something I could never get use to.

The sound of his croaking apology replayed in my mind. Sorry for what… for killing Paul? For not making his bite known sooner?

I wondered if he had even known what he had even done to Paul. I know the infection took hold before the person was completely lost. Stealing bit by bit until there was nothing left. 

      I knew I would see Jesse again. He would eventually join me in my nightmares like all the others. Him and Paul would haunt me until I met my own fate one day.