Oscar Grim

     Oscar Grim is the mayor of the small town of Griswold, not far from here,  population 12.  Oscar in a contentious race , won by the flip of a coin. The six-to-six tie was not unusual, and two families make up the entire number of inhabitants of Griswold. Because of this unique situation it was determined over one hundred and forty years ago, by the flip of a coin, that all ties would be resolved by a flip of a coin. That of course was only the beginning of prolonged arguments over which type of coin should be used, who would be determined to make the call, and should the coin be blessed and kept sacrosanct in the churches vault? But which of the two churches would be designated this keeper of the Griswold Grail?

     The Grim family although claiming to be the founders of Griswold had no proof. The Dinkheller’s also claimed to have founded the town, claiming George Dinkheller had in fact been living on the edge of the Neverbend River where he was claimed to have trapped the last leghorn weasel in the territory. His distinction however could also not be proved definitively, leaving both families claims nebulous at best. 

    Both churches in town were dedicated to the proposition that all Gods were created equal, and therefore the birth of the non-denominational religiosity movement was solidified. This movement, although in direct opposition to the predominant idealism of the time, industrialized dominance, had a small but dedicated congregation of minimalists.  The idea that force would be used to coerce the countries morals and ethics towards one nationalistic religion, Consumerism, flew in the face of the directives of the founding fathers, according to the NDR movement. But being an integral part of the capitalistic ethos, it had to be allowed to exist under the proposed Freedom to Capitalize amendment. Although never enacted, it remained a dominant illusional force in the creation of any and all legislation.

    The political philosophy of the time made it impossible to not be engaged in one form of capitalistic consumerism or another, leaving the citizens of Griswold, although diametrically opposed to one another because of their founding issues, to agree whole heartedly on the fact that all men, and most women, deserved to remain free of consumerism, and be allowed to practice pacifism without the condemnation of consumeristic activists.  This one shared philosophy brought the town to accept that they would rather die than be forced to purchase anything they did not need, simply to increase the gross national product.

    This act of defiance caused the citizens to be labeled non conformists. Some went so far as to call them cowards for not embracing progressive consumerism and its benefits. Others simply enjoyed the power rush they received by degrading those who did not agree with their god given truths. 

    The major impediment to any revolt against authority, is the condemnation by various forms to discredit the opposition by any means possible. Newspapers, TV, and recently the dictatorial use of digital media, made it impossible to avoid the stigma of being labeled old fashioned, or worse intellectually active. In an attempt to stop the spread of religiosity and its inherent deleterious effect on consumerism, any number of Intellectually Active clinics were closed down to facilitate the more profitable philosophy of consumerism and its activists. 

     Surprisingly, even to the residents of Griswold, the media driven frenzy against minimalism forced them to become more open to possibilities, than any of them would have considered possible. Having shared the label of “Cowards For Consumerism,” they found that some idealistic pursuits were bigger than individual beliefs. 

     Because of the media attention and the movements popularity, the town began to grow. Suburbs sprang up along the river. It became the Mecca for minimalists throughout the country. If it hadn’t been for the catastrophic floods, claimed to be repercussions of global purchasing edicts, the town would have more than doubled in size. Not to be deterred by factors beyond their control, the town decided to abandon its present site, and move to higher ground. They would establish a new town where individual differences, along with recently purchased items, would be left at the city limits. 

    A new philosophy would be celebrated, “There is no need of want, when want is no longer a need.” No one knew what the slogan was intended to mean, which was the undefinable point. It kept people from agonizing over a need for difference and reminded them daily of their acceptance of a creed dedicated to inclusion, regardless of one’s stock market credentials or bottom line.

    Oscar Grim was elected mainly because of his preference for tails. He had been and is, an ardent hunter of squirrels. He kept their memories alive by displaying mementos of his conquests on the walls of his garage. It was his obsession that inadvertently changed the mind of Amy Dinkheller who happened to catch sight of his collection during a brief moment of Oscar's impropriety; he having left the garage door open while taking out the garbage. Amy confessed to never having seen such dedication previously, and although having inherited the disapproval of everything Grim, the display opened her mind to the possibility that death need not be as gruesome and costly as she had been taught to believe.

    Amy went on to become curator of the Forest Lawn Cemetery LLC, where the illusion of life continued for a brief time even after the inevitable occurred. It was her accepting the position that threw the town into contentious evolution. No longer twelve, but eleven, created the distinct possibility that not only would their voting procedure be jeopardized , but possibly the future of consumer detractors everywhere. 

     Their conundrum was avoided by the interjection of Oscar Grim who reminded people that the “need of want, and wanting to need” were inherent according to Darwin’s theory of diminishing returns. Their problem was easily rectified, someone would have to be excommunicated. He offered himself up as the sacrificial lamb, claiming he’d just purchased a toaster, that was although not a necessity, was on sale. His gallant proposal was not heeded however, as Bertha Grim never having seen a toaster before had a heart attack, and the odds had been restored through what some said, was Devine intervention.

    At the next town meeting, it was suggested they refer to the Forest Lawn Principle which allowed for the participation of a recently departed Griswold citizen in an election if necessary to preserve the union. The price of toasters, because of inflation, had become an unnecessarily extravagant expenditure. The town budget, being what it was, and people’s dislike of having to pay taxes that benefited only others, Oscar Grim under significant pressure from the town board, passed an executive order making the ownership of a toaster redundant.

    Every naturalized citizen had obtained a toaster after the new banks promotion advertising the fact that, the “need of want, and the want of need,” both come with a price tag and possibly a social stigma.

Oscar Grim it has been rumored is not going to run for re-election, claiming mental gratuities were insufficient to overcome his pending sense of evolutionary expenditures. Amy Dinkheller is said to be returning to Griswold for the upcoming primaries.