Acrophob 'I' a

I looked towards the horizon; the sky's blue was merging somewhere with a lighter version of the sea. The light blue color far above my head with foam-shaped white clouds, a sight I have always enjoyed, was frightening this time, and with trembling feet, I glanced downwards; the ground was much far below, and it seemed the sky is closer to me than the ground. My wife, watching from the base of the tall rocket-shaped metal frame, appeared like a small toy. The wind blowing from the sky was so heavy that the erected frame started to shake with clanging sounds of loosened metal parts hitting each other. I was feeling dizzy, the shivering progressed from my legs through my nerves to my fist, and a flash of lightning went through the spinal cord.

My vision blurred, and the sight of a tall, isolated almond tree that stood like the cursed lone trees in horror movies crept into my mind. The blue sky was far above, but the greeny wet ground was much far below. I desperately attempted to scream, but the rush of blood to my head made it like a whimpering sound. I hung upside down on the branch where I sat a few minutes back, with my legs still holding on to it and arms still searching desperately for something to hold on to.

Dad…. the shriek was so piercing that I regained my composure. I looked upwards, my six-year-old daughter was standing on a broken portion of the metal steps, and the next step was inches below. Her only hope was her acrophobic father, paralyzed midway, facing the worst fear from his past.

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May 1993

The tree stood like a giant in the middle of the meadow, with its head high and numerous arms stretched in all directions. The beginning of the monsoon had decorated the floor with bushes and little plants, transforming it into an enchanting green bed. The tree was the Mount Everest of my life; it was there in the middle, lone and unconquered, as the center of all the humiliations I had faced in the last two months. There was no going back this time, I need to climb to the topmost branch, I want to prove to my friends that I am a better climber than them. 

This mid-summer vacation had been entirely different from the previous ones because I agreed with my friends on a mission to climb all the trees in our neighborhood. Being raised near a forest in my maternal home till eight years old, the trees had always been a part of my life. No trees had ever defeated me so far, no matter how tall and slippery they were. But this almond tree appears like it hated me, giving my friends who were jealous of my climbing skills a reason to make fun of me. The tree defeated me several times as I fell or slippered to the ground while my friends climbed to the lowest branches.

There was only one way to win, to climb to the topmost branch, and it would not happen in their presence. The more I failed, the more conscious I became, and there was one solution: climb it when I am alone. I knew I would be strong and free from expectations when I am alone, and once I conquered, it would be easy to repeat the paths which led to glory.

 I stepped slowly and gathered speed as I moved through the greenery. I sprinted the last few meters like an athlete, and for a moment, it appeared that the tree was watching me. The words flew like a war cry from my mouth. Keep watching as long as you wish, I had conquered larger trees than you are, and the topmost branch is mine hereafter. There was no act of protest or disapproval from the tree as I climbed like a monkey. The view was astonishingly beautiful from the top, and it appeared like the Gods were watching the world from Heaven. I pulled a small paper cutter from my pocket to etch my name on the branch. 

I stabbed the knife hard and peeled the tree's outer bark to engrave the first letter of my name. There was not even a gentle breeze at that time, and complete silence followed, and the tree stopped moving for a second. Something was going to happen. The knife slipped, and I stretched my right arm to catch it, slightly losing the left hand and tightening the locks made with my legs. Suddenly, a wind was blown out of nowhere, and the tree moved back and forth with its full power. It felt like a supernatural force was shaking the tree, and I was losing my grip, and within seconds, I hung upside down like a bat, hanging only onto the lock made by folding the knees. The knife dropped from my right hand, disappearing into the lavish green plants below.

Trying to lift my weight was impossible; only a trained gymnast could do such a thing. There was nothing to hold on to except the thin air; the only option was to scream as loud as possible, and I did it as long and louder as possible, but the meadow's perimeter was larger than the combined sizes two stadiums. You need a handheld PA system to let people know you are screaming for your life. It was out of the question, and I screamed for hours. Finally, I was tired and thirsty; the blood was rushing to my brain in buckets, and whatever sound I made was like a whimpering sound. The legs were weakening, and a crash landing was expected at any time. Visions blurred, my throat was drained, and my lips were dry, and I moved back and forth between consciousness and unconsciousness.  

 I think I heard someone talking and with much difficulty I opened my eyes, there was no one on the ground. The thirst was so intense that even my urine would have quenched my desire for water. Suddenly I felt the strong smell of someone smoking weed, and the smell got stronger every second. Slowly scattered, messy, and thick facial hairs of a man were visible. He was talking to himself and still smoking something as he climbed upwards like a trained climber.

Boy, What are you doing there? Why did you climb to the top alone? Are you out of your mind? Within a second, he reached the same branch I was sitting, and I heard him shouting.

Boy, the torn portion of your trousers was clinging to a broken twig of the branch; you are lucky that I arrived on time; it was going to break anytime.

He tied me to his filthy-smelling body with a sling and freed my trousers from the broken twig. To my horror, I saw the twig was smaller than my middle finger, and it was not my legs but the twig and a portion of the trouser that saved my life. We started our backtracking slowly. I looked upwards, and the tree seemed like enjoying the scene; it had already won; first, the tree threw me out, and then it defeated me again by saving me from falling. I looked at the man who saved my life, he stinks all the time. People always had driven him away, especially kids who were the most ruthless; even I had been a part of it sometimes. Yet this man risked his own life to save the life of an unknown kid, who was a part of the children who would humiliate him often.

 That was the last time I climbed on a tree; fortunately, no one knew about the incident. But the time I spent hanging upside down stuck to my subconscious mind, and it reminded me sometimes in dreams. I have neither climbed any tree thereafter nor dared to look down or up when I ascend to a height. 

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May 2018

Beaches are one of the destinations that my wife and I liked to visit, and our daughter has inherited some of our tastes. The beach gets crowded in the evenings, and so is the associated children’s park. We were early to reach there, and the beach appeared deserted then. My daughter had enough space to roam the beach and enjoyed every second she spent at the park. 

Despite all the rides and entertainment in the park, the most attractive one is a gigantic metallic rocket erected at the end of the park a few years back. The structure is so huge that kids could see both the sea and the land for a long stretch from its top, and the heavy wind from the ocean was an added advantage. My daughter had seen it only in pictures before and sprinted toward the structure when we approached it. My wife decided to wait at the base considering she was conceived and encouraged me to climb along with our daughter. 

I knew there is a limit beyond which I can’t climb, but the kids are not afraid of anything, and the childish enthusiasm was visible when my daughter climbed each step. The wind was getting stronger, which made the structure begin quivering. For small kids, their father is a superhero with no fears, and neither my wife nor my daughter knows my fear of heights. I decided to wait after climbing a few steps and acted like enjoying the view from there.

Suddenly my daughter screamed, and I heard a cracking sound from the top . A few pieces of broken metal and some rusted parts fell to the ground, followed by a large scream from my wife. I checked where she was waiting; she had moved away from the spot and yelled our daughter’s name. She was trying to say something, and the strong winds took her voice away; then she pointed upwards, and I realized she was telling me to secure our daughter. Fear began to fill in mind, rust was still falling from the top, and I could not see what had happened there. A few seconds passed, the dust seemed to settle, and she was, waiting on a partially broken platform to be rescued by her father. A large portion of the steps leading to it was missing.

Dad, I am afraid. She started to cry.

Hold on, my dear; Dad will be there soon. Hold on. I shouted as loud as I could.

No one was going to rescue our daughter. The beach was almost empty, and the nearest person was miles away from the structure. Calling 911 is another option, but rescue takes time, and God knows how long the platform could withstand her.

My wife was screaming, and she wanted me to climb.

There was nothing to think about; watching our daughter falls will haunt me for the rest of my life, which will be heavier than my worst dreams.

Dad, it is breaking. My daughter screamed from the top.

No, Dad will be there before it falls, I am on the way, honey. Almost there. Sometimes a lie can calm down a person for a while.

I stopped after climbing a few steps. I can’t do it ; I am feeling sick, and I thought I would die before I reached there.

I looked towards the horizon; the sky's blue was merging somewhere with a lighter version of the sea. The light blue color far above my head with foam-shaped white clouds, a sight I have always enjoyed, was frightening this time, and with trembling feet, I glanced downwards; the ground was much far below, and it seemed the sky is closer to me than the ground. My wife, watching from the base of the tall rocket-shaped metal frame, appeared like a small toy. The wind blowing from the sky was so heavy that the erected frame started to shake with clanging sounds of loosened metal parts hitting each other. I was feeling dizzy, the shivering progressed from my legs through my nerves to my fist, and a flash of lightning went through the spinal cord.

Dad, the shriek was so piercing that I regained my composure. I looked upwards, my six-year-old daughter was standing on a broken portion of the metal steps, and the next step was inches below. Her only hope was her acrophobic father, paralyzed midway, facing the worst fear from his past.

I started climbing, and with each step, I started looking down. The wind was stronger than I thought, and it carried the smell of the ocean with it.

The sound of metal hitting metal, the whistling of heavy wind, the smell of rusting, the shivering metal structure, and the space below my feet, I was switching between consciousness and partial consciousness.

My vision blurred, and the sight of a tall, isolated almond tree that stood like the cursed lone trees in horror movies crept into my mind. The blue sky was far above, but the greeny wet ground was much far below. I desperately attempted to scream, but the rush of blood to my head in the inverted position made it like a whimpering sound. I hung on to the branch where I sat a few minutes back with my legs and arms still searching desperately for something to hold on to.

Dad, a few more steps, don’t sleep. I opened my eyes; I was shocked. I had not stopped climbing, even in a semi-conscious state; my love for my daughter was bigger than my fear. She was inches above my head, and all I had to do was hold onto my left hand and extend my right hand with my legs forming a loop to balance me around a pole. The wind stopped for a second, and everything fell silent. Something was going to happen; I have felt that before.

My vision blurred, and the lone almond tree came to my mind. The metallic structure started to quiver again, this time more violently, and suddenly the wind appeared out of nowhere. 

Dad, she screamed like she had seen a ghost, then another cracking sound right above my head.

The smell of smoking weed filled my nostrils. I opened my eyes; the platform above had broken down completely. Like a trained gymnast, I leaped into thin air and got hold of my daughter. My right arm wrapped around her waist and held tightly to my body, my legs were still firmly locked up, and my left arm held onto the grill.

I slipped through the pole and landed on the nearest unbroken platform. We are safe, honey. My daughter smiled and held on to my body, and we started descending to the base. I signaled my wife to wait there, and we rushed toward her as soon as we reached the ground. 

Dad, you are a superhero; you were jumping like Spiderman. 

Honey, what you have done is beyond narrating; I saw it from here. She is right; you were climbing like Spiderman. My wife added.

 I looked upwards to the top of the structure, which was still quivering in the wind, but I was not.