Our Apple Tree

A small girl clings to a wall at her elementary school, a couple of her fingers play with a hole in her sweater.

She watches a group of boys run by, her leg twitches as if it had a mind of its own.

Her eyes jump up and down with the girls playing hopscotch.

Thick red and yellow leaves camouflaged the playground. The boys use them as masks, and planes. Meanwhile, the girls cover them with piles of woodchips, serving them as pancakes or a chocolate cake.

The little girl felt a plate of warm scrambled eggs in front her face .

Boys and girls swing into the crisp morning air with big happy smiles worn like part of the school uniform.

She looks down at her shoes sliding them together and then separating them again. She watched as other pairs of shoes walked by, they all glistened as even the sunlight preferred to touch brand new shoes. Her black suede shoes resembled an old worn out blanket that needed to be thrown out. Her eyes glided over all the pretty shoes, she imagined herself in a pair of her own. She especially liked looking at the shoes with colorful lights that bounced with each footstep. A vibrant rainbow shinning in the night sky appeared in her head.

Suddenly her whole world turns sideways, she can no longer see all the shoes. All she can see is the grey milky sky and the tree tops touched by golden flashes of light. It was her thin body that was flying sideways. She fell to the ground with a crash. Luckily her elbow and book bag managed to break her fall. She feels tiny little rocks digging into her arm. She did not see what hit her ,but it had to have been a horse, she was sure of it. Her mamá had told her stories.

She was still on the ground when a tall boy with black hair held out his hand. It took her a second to realize he was holding it out for her. She took it, and the boy lifted her up to her feet.

“Thank you” The little girl smiles.

“Umm…I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hit you.” The boy threw his right arm over the back of his neck. A small grin played with his lips.

The little girl had forgotten all about that, she had been distracted by the strange boy.

“What’s your name?” she asked.

“Ismael, what’s your name?” The boy now brought his arms together over his chest.

“Paloma” Her smile still stretched across her face.

“Do you want to play tag?” The boy points to the field and the group of boys that she had seen earlier.

“Yes!” She takes off with the boy, the morning breeze brushes her face and waves through her curly hair.

Moments later, the boys are falling over trying to catch their breath.

After each breath the boys took , she could see the icy exhaustion floating away. She may not have brand new shoes with lights on them, but none of the boys even came close to catching up to her. She felt like the rainbow she had painted in her mind earlier , full of color and warmth streaking across a cold night sky.

5 years later.

Beams of sunlight burst through a foggy bedroom window, resting on the necks of a tall beefy boy and a curly haired girl. The two sat shoulder to shoulder, both in their white school shirts. Each had a packet of paper on their lap. Nothing was worse than homework over the summer, Ismael thought to himself.

“This sucks, why do we get homework?” he falls back on the fluffy mattress.

Paloma jerks as she regains her balance.

“Because they need to make sure that you’re smart enough to go!” she laughs.

“You mean that I qualify?” he asks.

“Yea, whatever.” she brushes hair away from her face.

“Well at least I know how to read.” he fires back.

Paloma turns away, and is sucked into the pages of her text book.

He thinks about walking away, before a knot forms in the boys belly followed by getting a frog caught in his throat. He peeks over the textbook.

Her bouncy caramel hair covers most of her face.

He lets out a weighted sigh.

“If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t know how to do my math homework.” he admits leaning in with a big smile on his face. His teeth are covered in a brown liquid, chocolate.

A grin creeps on her face. She chuckles pushing the textbook out in front of her and Ismael along with it.

He falls over landing on his bottom.

“You have chocolate on your teeth dork.” she giggles.

A bright blissful smile took shape on her face. Suddenly her knees wiggle under her making it harder to stand.

The boy, mouth wide open, looks into her chocolate kissed eyes. Fireworks go off inside of him he hears every pop and feels every burst of heat.

The moment is interrupted by Paloma’s mamá.

“Ya terminaron la tarea?” She asks in Spanish. “Is your homework complete?”

“Si!” Paloma squealed.

Minutes later, the pair came crashing out the front door. The room could no longer contain the jolts of electricity that are racing through their veins. They chased each other up and down the block, carelessly losing themselves in each other.

As the sun set, some of the older kids started to come outside.

A tall slender boy and a short puffy boy rode around on their bikes.

They rode up to the pair, jumping off of their bikes and into Ismael’s face.

“Hey broke boy, where did you get that shirt?” the short puffy boy snorts.

Paloma looks at his shirt, she never really payed attention to his clothes. She notices his shirt stretches out below his waist, the color had faded resulting in a creamy orange color. It almost looked like it shouldn’t belong to him. It reminded her of the black shoes she had as a kid.

Ismael drops his chin to his chest, his shoulders follow.

Suddenly he feels something warm and soft fall into his hand, the warmth rushes through him flushing his face. A flame burns in his eyes, fueled by the warm feeling.

Her hand is locked in his.

Paloma’s heart begins to race, she knows he’s going to do something.

“Your momma!” Ismael yells out.

The tall slender boy immediately buries a fist into Ismael’s gut.

His body bellows, falling over.

Without thinking Paloma takes off her sandal and smacks the short puffy boy.

“Hey!” he cried holding his nose with both hands.

Her eyes dart over to the slender boy, who is already turning to run away.

She chases him, quickly catches up to him, and unleashes a barrage of spanks and slaps.

The boy is in tears when she finally turns back to Ismael, who is now on his back, rolling in laughter.

The pair walks a couple blocks to get to the liquor store where Ismael buys a drink and a bag of chips.

“We’ll share it.” he smiles at Paloma who returns the gesture.

On the way back home they walk by a small church with a wide open field. In the corner there was a small hill with an apple tree. From the sidewalk it was hidden behind the church, a secret only a few were lucky to enjoy on a hot summer evening.

The kids sat with their backs against the bark of the tree, eyes on the stars that glistened in the dark sky. A cool breeze rolled through.

The kids talked about what had happened with the bullies, aliens, and how unfair it was to have homework over the summer.

Ismael wrapped himself in his own arms, his eyes in a trance reflecting a cheesy full moon. He looks over at Paloma, her eyes shining in the night. She was his friend, he thought as he stared at her.

A painful memory surfaces, he feels a tug on his heart, it threatened to leave him. Ismael tries to move past it and reclaim this moment of joy. He can’t, it’s too much. Images of his little bother crying are engraved into his thoughts. He can’t win this tug o war, he is consumed, swallowed by events he had no part in.

“My parents are getting divorced.” Ismael declares quietly.

Paloma is not surprised by this, she had over heard her mamá on the phone recently. Pobresito she thought to herself. Poor little boy.

“I heard, I’m sorry, you must feel horrible.” her eyes watch over him, she’s waiting to catch him if he needs her to.

“I’ll be okay, it’s my little brother I’m worried about.” his eyes are glossy, he doesn’t let her see.

He can see his mom holding little Danny in her arms, keeping him warm under a bridge, with a tent for a home.

He shakes his head, trying to cast out the vision.

“He’ll be okay, he’s got you, you’re a good bother.” she says.

As she says that Ismael can see her eyes sparkle, her words set a blaze inside of his heart, like a flame igniting life into a dying frozen star.

“Thanks” he smiles. The moonlight dances inside his dark spacey eyes. He lets out a heavy sigh. Seconds later, he hops on his feet and starts scanning the tree branches. She notices his shoes, they’re worn resembling an old mattress. He has traveled down a similar road as hers, now it seems his has taken a turn for the worst.

“Want one?” Paloma asks, jumping up to follow him. The apples weren’t too high of the ground yet. They were within reach.

He points out the apple that caught his eye.

Together they reach for a crisp golden apple, like two thieves picking a jewel off a tree.

Ismael reaches it first, they pull it together, he takes it from her.

“This apple is a gift to you, but also a promise that I will be awesome no matter what!” he holds out a thumbs up.

Paloma takes the apple making a promise of her own. A promise she couldn’t say out loud. She was too scared.

I promise to catch you when you fall. Just like the apples from this tree, you are sweet and deserve to be picked.

She holds the apple out in front of her chest in the palm of her hands.

“Make it official, take a bite!”

Both kids take a bite, then toss the apple out into the field blanketed in white daisies, neither wanting to touch the side the other bit.

They instead picked their own apples, and ran home.

Homework was the best thing that happened that summer, Ismael thought.

10 years later.

A white dove flies over a massive field littered with stones. There is always something to be found here. People often leave gifts and offerings resting on top of these stones. Perfect scavenging grounds for a bird.

A young woman is kneeling in front of a plaque, the tips of her oily leather shoes dig into the dirt.

Tears run down the young woman’s face, they trace her sculpted jaw.

Her eyes are red and swollen. She remains there for several minutes, lost in memories of the past.

The other figure is sitting on a stone, his arms are crossed and his foot is tapping the earth underneath. His eyes watch over Paloma as he shakes his head.

He’s going to wake up the dead, Paloma thinks.

She imagines a tornado of dead leaves possessed by the souls of this cemetery. An unforgiving red beast comes to life behind her eyes, seeking only revenge.

“Hey…I’m getting hungry, are you almost done?” he says.

She sighs.

“Yea, let’s go.” She collects her things and bids a final farewell to her loved one.

“Alright!” he shouts. On his feet he catches up with Paloma, his eyes glued to her rear, who didn’t bother waiting for him.

A slimy smirk spills on his face, he pulls Paloma towards him by her waist.

“Mamacita, you know I love your baby brother, but who’s going to bring him flowers if we starve to death?” he says, fidgeting with a gold watch on his wrist.

The white dove spots something of interest in the sea of the dead, it dives through the air landing gracefully on the plaque.

Paloma had left a piece of bolio for Daniel , it was his favorite to have with mamá’s chocolate.

The dove could hardly believe it, all the food it could ever want. It pecks at the bread, each crumb bigger than the last.

The dove spends most of its afternoon eating until it can’t no more.

The cemetery is the perfect hunting ground, it is filled with dead souls that don’t care for others. It watches the other birds on their own stones, and drops its guard, joining the massive feast.

A loud screech is heard over the canopy, sending some of the birds away, many choose to ignore it.

It is the last sound the white dove hears before its world goes dark.

Blood spills on the plaque, sinking into the earth.

A hawk takes off in search of its next meal.

Its talons pierce the dove, holding it by the neck, like a fish caught on a hook.

Paloma and the man with the gold watch walk to his car, her belly enlarged. They are followed out of the restaurant by other people who are out on dates and family dinners.

“Does Pooh need more honey?” he teases. He runs up to her grabbing her from underneath her jaw, and plants a wet kiss on her lips.

“Shut up,” she says. Her teeth grind into her jaw.

The car seems so far away for her, quick breaths and a hand on her waist do the trick.

Back at home in the shower, a flash of Ismael’s face takes form in her mind, a face she thought she had forgotten.

She only wished she had.

It was a painful reminder of what could have been.

She brushes her face as if to wash off the regret.

She takes a deep breath, exhaling any thoughts of the past.

She feels nauseous and rushes to get into bed.

She often stayed up at night, wondering why she hadn’t been enough. Wondering if she could have done more.

If she had, maybe he would still be here.

Maybe, he would have held her while she cried.

Then again, she wouldn’t be crying with a blank sheet of paper in her arms if Ismael had been there.

5 years later.

Orange Grove Penitentiary

Ismael Centeno

For my Palomita,

It’s almost midnight here, it’s easy to lose track of time in here. But today I’ve been counting down the minutes, shit…I’m counting down the seconds. Today is my last day. Tomorrow they let me out. I’m not sure how much you know or if you even care.

The cop confessed, they dropped all charges.

I know it must be difficult to hear from me after seven years. How could I… after how much I disappointed you. I’ve written many letters, I asked for forgiveness, promised redemption. I couldn’t send any out. My shame paralyzed me, infected me with fear and doubt.

I broke my promise to you.

All these years wasted, years I would have given anything to have spent even a minute with you.

I heard you were married a while ago, is it true?

Years ago, you asked me to leave my excuse for a life behind, to show my brother a better way.

I ignored you…and it cost my little brothers life.

Not a second goes by that I don’t wish the bullet had hit me instead.

My little Palomita where have you gone? How far have you flown? How much of the world have you seen?

As selfish as it sounds, I can’t imagine travelling through the cosmos by myself.

I’m out tomorrow, and the first place I’m heading to is our tree.

The place where we went to make sure that the world would turn, and the sun would rise another day.

Where we picked an apple we both bit into.

I’m ready to share the apple with you now. I won’t throw it away into a field of weeds.

The truth is there isn’t an apple on a branch that rivals the sweet nectar your love introduced to my heart.

I dream of your smile, and the frijolitos you have for eyes, I hope to see you again.

I’ve missed you so much.

Love, Ismael

Tomorrow

Scarlet and yellow leaves danced in the air clearing a path for Ismael. He carried a small plastic bag as he got off the public bus.

The church has been closed for many years.

No signs of life from what he could see.

His hopes misplaced.

Paloma is happy, married to an astronaut or something, he thinks.

He turns into the corner behind the church.

A golden shower of light sparkled over an apple tree on a hill.

The golden sun retreated into the ground, revealing to Ismael a couple of silhouettes.

One in the shape of a woman, and one in the shape of a little girl.

The girls ponytails danced with the currents of salmon rushing through the sky.

Ismael walks closer, his heart beating out of his chest.

He makes out a thin woman with curly hair, she holds out in her hands, an apple.

The little girl in the white dress flashes a smile, her shoes are covered in mud

He’s now close enough to look into her eyes.

He takes the apple from her hand, it already has two bites.

One smaller than the other.

His eyes surrender, melting into hers to form a tender dessert.

He takes a bite.

End