Always Crashing in the Same Car

“Spike, Spike, Spike,” said Jet, tapping the steering wheel. “Troubles always know how to find you.”

“You can say it again, Jet,” said Spike, lighting a cigarette. “Damn, you sure can.”

“Didn’t you quit?”

“Huh, after what you did, I wish I could.”

Spike snapped with his gas lighter, puffed the smoke, and looked at his friend. Having noticed his staring, Jet drew off his attention from the road for a second, and looked at Spike, smiling.

“Yeah, I know what you’re thinking,” said Jet, grinning.

“Just want to remind you that you were three years older than me.”

“Oh, come on, just shave your stubble, hit some parties as we used to, and,” he hesitated for a while, grasping a steering wheel tight. “Anyway, you better tell me how is she?”

Spike chuckled for a second and then answered: “Oh, like you don’t know, right?”

“Well, it’s not a cinema theater up there with a perpetual movie called “Earth”, so, yes, there are plenty of things I’ve lost track… sadly.”

“But she is okay.”

For a second there was silence. The only sound was a low roar of the engine under the hood.

“Come on, it’s not the answer,” said Jet and poked Spike’s shoulder. “Is she married, any children?”

“She has a daughter, about six or seven,” said Spike and took a drag on his cigarette. “Anyway, I don’t see her that often these days.”

“So do I.”

They both burst out laughing.

“Stop it, man,” said Spike, still laughing.

“Well, full of dark humor.”

“As always, man,” said Spike and stopped laughing. “And I miss it.”

Jet pushed the pedal and the engine roared wilder. The car went forward faster, disappearing into the lights of a lonesome highway outside the city.

“It’s really strange, but I do miss her,” said Jet, after a short moment of silence. “And how foolish of me to think that she is still-”

“Time is a killing machine, and we have no way to dodge it,” said Spike and breathed smoke out.

“Hate to say it, but you’re right.”

“Don’t get me wrong, Jet, but if she saw you and your smooth, gentle skin, your sharp cheekbones right now she would swoon, I’m telling you.”

Jet laughed. The car was moving forward, all along the night road.

“And how does it feel?” asked Spike, puffing a cigarette.

“What? Being there?”

“Yes.”

“Well,” said Jet with a sorrowful smile spreading across his face. “I don’t think you would like it up there, it’s kinda…”

He became lost for a second, searching for the right word.

“Controversial?” asked Spike.

“Well, yes, that place is not what people think. I think it’s better here… because here, I could do everything in some way, but-”

“But now things are different, man,” said Spike and put a cigarette butt in a car ashtray. “Life is taking care of everything, and honestly speaking… I miss those days too.”

“Taking care of everything? Huh, tell me about it,” said Jet and looked at the dashboard.

“What I’m trying to say is that the more I get older the more things piling up, and I just try looking back… just to catch a glimpse of those old days and it’s getting harder… seems like sooner or later this pile of mistakes, bad choices and regrets will separate me from all the memories… from you.”

Spike opened the window and lonely, night air started getting inside.

“Maybe you just shouldn’t?” said Jet.

“Shouldn’t what? Like… looking back?”

“Yes, just let it go,” said Jet and looked at Spike with a twisted smile.

Jet started slowing down, then turned right.

“Where are we heading?”

“Gasoline.”

They drove into a gas station and then came out of the car. Jet forged on ahead towards a small store.

“Hey, wait for me, I’m going with you,” said Spike, stretching out his back after a long ride.

“No needs, want some snacks?”

“No, just wait,” said Spike, yawning.

Jet had come up to the door and stopped.

“What? Are they closed?”

He looked inside. There was a shopkeeper. Jet started waving his hand, asking for her to open the door, but he didn’t seem to be bothering her at all.

“No knobs or anything?” asked Spike, coming up to his friend.

“Nothing. Am I blind or what?”

Only when Spike had walked up to Jet, the sensor indicators caught his motion and the door opened.

“Oh, now we’re talking,” said Jet and dived into the store.

The cozy, well-lit store was cuddled in calmness and serene atmosphere. It seemed that even time stopped here. Jet touched Spike’s shoulder and nodded to the side of a chocolate stand.

“Not today,” mumbled Spike and strode to the cashing till. “Gonna pay for our fuel.”

“Snickers with almonds?!” shrieked Jet. “God, you guys really don’t waste your time here. I wish we had it back in our time.”

“Good night, miss, first pump, please, full tank.”

She smiled at him warmly.

Spike looked back to check on his friend.

“Full tank?!” laughed Jet. “That’ll happen one kilometer from here.”

“Cash or card?”

“Isn’t that funny, huh? Full tank… but what for?” mumbled Jet in the distance.

“A?” said Spike.

“I say: are you going to pay with cash or card?” she repeated kindly.

“Oh, with my card, sure, excuse me,” said Spike, then tapped his bank card and looked back again.

“Isn’t it too boring to drive all alone in the pitch dark, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“A? Sorry, and can we add that Snickers with almonds as well.”

“Sure, no problem.”

“Sorry, what did you say?” asked Spike and again looked at Jet. He was absorbed with all the glittering candies and their colorful wraps.

“Loneliness. I said: if you feel lonely driving-”

“Ah, no, it’s… it’s all right. I am not alone.”

She looked over Spike’s shoulder at the empty car.

“Well… whatever it means, sir. The payment was successful, thank you for stopping by. Have a nice road!”

She was glittering with a smile.

They came back to the car.

“Are you sure you don’t feel sleepy?” asked Spike.

“No, I’m all right,” said Jet closing the door. “Even if I’m not you can’t change anything here.”

They were sitting in a car for a while in silence. Raindrops started appearing on the windshield, like unexpected guests.

“Spike.”

Spike looked at him.

“It’s time,” said Jet.

“Already?!”

“Already. Don’t matter on which side you are, time is ticking everywhere.”

“But…”

“But what?” said Jet and looked at his friend.

“Can’t we go together this time?”

Jet looked at the windshield and sighed.

“You see, I don’t really fit into this scheme of things,” continued Spike and dived into silence for a second. “And we… we don’t have much time left, but I… I always keep thinking about you and what you’ve done. It was kind of… the right thing to do.”

“The right thing to do?” chuckled Jet, and his smile started changing into a horseshoe.

“Yes, I think so. After that day everything, including fun, started fading away, slowly,” said Spike, and then their eyes met each other. “You chose a good moment for your deed, man”

Jet sighed sullenly.

“Oh, Spike,” said Jet, starting the car. “You think if you aren’t here, you don’t suffer. But as I told you before: troubles will find you. And it doesn’t matter where you are. Troubles and time. One can’t exist without the other.”

The rain turned into a downpour. Raindrops pounded on the car, killing all the silence around. The engine roared hungrily.

“But I’m about to give up on life, give up on everything, Jet, ” his eyes started getting wet, every time he blinked. “Can I go with you? Please.”

Jet looked at him sorrowfully and tried to smile.

“Spike, have I ever lied to you?”

“Why do you ask?”

“No, answer me: have I ever lied to you?”

“No,” said Spike, sobbing.

“You won’t find peace or solitude there. The things you try to escape from will find you no matter where you are.”

“But what should I do?”

“Become a friend of your life. Become a good partner of time and cherish every single moment of it. You’re right. It won’t be that cool anymore, and it’s hard to admit. The pink, raspberry sunrises of our youth are gone, but now you have something else, something we didn’t have during our time.”

Spike leaned forward and hugged Jet. They embraced in a warm, bear hug, eyes tight closed, holding the salty oceans under the lids.

“And about that so-called right thing to do,” said Jet and hesitated for a while. “I would have never chosen such fate for myself or anyone despite any piles of troubles. I think you should know it.”

Spike looked at Jet, bewildered.

“But we all thought it was your dec-”

“No!” said Jet, running his finger over his wet eyes. ”My fate was doomed to end among these raindrops and snarling brakes. And that’s why I wanted to meet you, to tell y-”

***

The annoying sound of the alarm clock began to hum David Bowie’s “Always Crashing in the Same Car.”

“Wake up, sleepyhead,” said a sweet woman’s voice.

Spike was lying on the bed, flapping his eyes.

“Bad dreams? I know the cure, darling, one second. Jet! Your dad woke up!”

Hurried footsteps were being heard from the hall. In a second a soft childish voice sang:

“Daddy! Good mo-orni-ing!”

“Hello, my little hunter!” answered Dad, his voice sleepy and dry.

“Oh!” shrieked Jet. “Your chin is so… thorny.”

“My chin is what?” laughed Dad.

“Oh, Daddy, thank you!” said Jet, forgetting all the chin problems. “Do you always keep some snacks in your bed?”

“What do you mean?” asked Dad and looked at the palms of his son.

The son was holding a chocolate bar, smiling.

“Yes, I guess… I guess this is for you,” whispered Spike, his body covered in cold sweat.

“Oh, God, from where did you get it?” asked his wife, startled.

“From… from an old friend of mine,” said Spike barely searching for words.

“The best,” corrected Jet, engaged with an almond snickers. “He was the best friend, daddy.”