The Sassy, Silent and Sarcastic

“I’ve got a plan.”

Alyssa was stunned at the blood red haired girl’s statement at her doorstep. Sara’s hair color was just an off-shoot of her entire wacky behavior. Sara flinched at anything normal and resorted to only abnormal tendencies like standing at her friend’s doorstep during midnight with an idea. Alyssa’s puffed eyes were not only open halfway, but her mouth was too dry to talk. Alyssa coughed - “Wha.. What idea? What time is it?”

Sara’s eyes boomed - “It's midnight.” Alyssa didn’t bother to glean the significance of Sara's unwelcome visit, as she waited for Sara’s impatience to reveal it. 

Sara rolled her eyes and sighed when she said - “It’s my birthday today silly”

Alyssa - “Oh! Yes. Happy….”

Sara didn’t realize she had interrupted Alyssa when she started - “Happy birthday to me. So excited to turn 21.”

Alyssa was the quiet one who questioned Sara’s statements with scientific precision - “Your age is not an idea. It’s a significant event perhaps. But…” 

Sara started - “Don't start with your logic. That's not the idea. My idea was to do something completely different this time for my birthday.” 

Alyssa allowed Sara into her house, before Sara’s excited voice woke up the entire neighborhood. Alyssa was used to Sara’s “completely different routine” for her birthday. Maybe a different restaurant on the other side of the city? Alyssa chuckled at the thought when Sara blurted - “I want to do a hike.” Alyssa almost fell off from her bed. The only other time Alyssa had fallen off her bed was when Sara tried to squeeze and sit between the impenetrable wall and Alyssa.   

Alyssa puffed eyes widened and before Alyssa could say anything, Sara looked straight into her eyes and said - “Yes. I said hiking. The thing you do all the time without me.”

Alyssa rolled her eyes and said - “That’s better than the thing you do all the time without me.” 

Sara ignored the jibe and said - “We are leaving in the morning. Three hours’ drive.”

Alyssa couldn’t help herself when she said - “Three hours? That’s crossing a continent for you.”

Sara looked genuinely distressed when she said - “I know. Such a drudge to leave the comfort of your home.”

Alyssa – “Don’t forget your bed.”

Sara - “That too. Anyways I thought to give this exercise thing a ceremonial start. I will sneak out of your house now. Good night.”

Sara corrected herself and laughed - “I meant tiptoeing out through the front door. Your room window is smaller than that of a prison cell”

Alyssa didn’t laugh one bit as she was in deep thought. Sara – a person who rather be prisoned to her bed - could have just called her to inform her.

Sara caught Alyssa’s cue when she said or rather deflected – “Ok. Good night.”

“I’ve got a plan”.

Sara’s statement breathed hope and relief where there was none. Or at least that is what she thought would spark the hopes of the three grumpy hikers behind her. But she was met with pin drop silence. Sara is full of plans today thought Alyssa. Perhaps they didn’t need hope, only the end of the road for this trail to end, especially the two older hikers they hitched along with. Bill and Bob didn’t see the need for an optimist or a leader when their ankles and feet were on an overdrive on the steep slope they hiked. Bill chuckled at Sara’s apparent lack of talent to stay quiet. She was full of questions - “How many years have you guys hiked?” “How come both of you are never bothered about flies?” “Have you done hikes harder than these?”. Bill curtly gave her single word answers which a normal girl would have taken the cue, while Bob just chose to ignore Sara, like the rest of his grandchildren when they visited him. Alyssa put more efforts to roll her eyes and hike the trek with Sara’s apparent new excitement for trekking.

Sara’s face soured when she couldn’t elicit a response from the two old companions. She was taken aback when the two old men stopped their walk and stood in silence. Bill’s face shrunk into deep thought, when he finally said - “And what plan could you have?”. His deep thought to avoid sounding rude or sarcastic failed when he further continued - “The trail leads to the top of the mountain and back, unless your plan entails passing through the bushes.” The thorns would gorge the remaining blood from his anemic body. Bill was pleased that his thought didn’t slip out of his mouth, albeit Bob’s chuckle could have spoiled it all. Bob patiently listened to Bill ’s tirades about anemia for decades during such hikes, in silence, only to chuckle or laugh about it during such inappropriate moments. 

Sara ignored Bill’s sarcastic comment and said - “That was exactly what I was about to recommend.” 

Alyssa finally tried to change Sara’s mind with – “Lets pose for selfie first.”

Bill almost cried and Bob just chuckled at Bill's expression.

Just to ease Sara’s mind, Alyssa pulled out her phone to pose for a selfie. Bill and Bob were taken aback for a minute with her constipated expression the first time. Bill did what he normally did, just chuckled and moved on, while Bob began to explore the science of stupidity in his mind.

Alyssa stopped Bill and Bob to ask for a group picture with her companions when Bill’s expression on the first photo sucked away all happiness from the world. Alyssa wondered if Bill ever smiled, and Bob stopped to chuckle.  While Sara was initially enthused by Alyssa to agree to come for the hike, her mood not only soured when Alyssa denied Sara’s frequent selfies and photo requests.

Alyssa tried to ignore Sara but was fascinated with the two curmudgeons they followed. She observed Bill and Bob’s girth never hunched during the hike or even moved a muscle around flies or other pests, while her ‘bestie’ played a variety of roles from karate to “get away from me” to the flies which Sara hoped the flies understood her.

The seasoned hikers not only climbed in silence, but also frequently ensured Sara and Alyssa were able to keep up. Alyssa asked Bill - “How many times have you guys gone on this hike?”. Bill was initially taken back at Alyssa’s analysis, but ultimately looked past her and just smiled. Alyssa had her answer with that smile - a smile that ensured satisfaction from a lifelong pursuit to hike. As they continued the meandering path - they arrived at the one edge of the hill. A few hundred feet below the white shores of the Atlantic on one side and the rocks of the island stretched on the side. The breathless view was suddenly interrupted with Bob’s smirk with his eyes on her. “Do you still want to go through the thorns to avoid this view?”

Before Alyssa could smile, she stopped as she found Sara on the verge of happy tears. Sara was initially mad that her plan to reach the top of the mountain the more adventurous way through the thorns didn’t work, but for the first time in her life Sara. She would have missed the beauty of the shores. Alyssa was also initially mad that Sara had the guts to just be-friend the two older hikers who were ready to hike this morning after they arrived at the location, by asking if they could accompany them. Sara knew the entire town they lived in and happened to apparently know the silent smiling Bill who worked at the convenience store.

Bob had a cryptic silence, while Bill just smiled. Knowing Bob through quarter mile of the hike, he probably wanted to murder Bill. Of-course their messy attire with long hair, unshaved beard and cargo shorts made them look one step short of serial killers ready to butcher them and drink their blood. But a few minutes through the hike, Bob’s cynicism and Bill’s smile eased Alyssa’s worry. Hiking was Alyssa’s first love, but planning was her second. Every trip was planned to her very last detail except this morning hike. The thrill of losing herself in adventure alone during hikes and beaches was satisfying. Outdoor activities were the only way to wiggle out of her two-bedroom home where her family’s wallet was very light and tight. Sara was the first person to not question Alyssa’s small home – even surprised that Sara wanted to spend time inside her house (who would have thought of that?) instead of going out.

As Alyssa admired Sara’s apparent lack of taste, Sara’s mind meandered into her messy head. Long silent hikes were tantamount to idle mind. But Alyssa’s shout behind Sara woke her up from her daydream - a big Tarantula spider walked with nonchalance towards Sara from the tree above them. Before the paralyzed Sara could do anything, a stick wooshed above and broke the spider’s web to fling the spider away from them. The stick arrived on the ground and bowed to its silent master Bill. No drama, no emotion when Bill removed the spider away from Sara. Sara gulped and proceeded with them.

Alyssa was exhausted when she finally asked – “What the hell did you bring me here and why the hell did you come home last night?”

Bill rolled his eyes as he expected a high-octane woman drama in the middle of this hike.

All Sara mustered was a shrug and said – “Just wanted to spend time with my best friend.”

Bob rolled his eyes at the sentimental drama unfolding but caught Alyssa’s wrath – “If you are so irritated with this hike Bob, why did you even come?”

Bob gave his death stare at Bill and said – “Ask him. I just followed him this time. I always do this hike earlier during the year. But for some reason…”

And a fart continued the sentence. People could have easily mistaken this for a cloth tearing itself if not the long-continued squeal. All of them looked at each other, until all eyes fell on Sara’s coyness. She finally cleared her throat – “Sorry guys. My Mcdonald’s burger released itself.”

Bob looked incredulous and asked – “And you wanted to hike after eating a burger”

Sara nodded like it was a compliment, looked at Alyssa and said– “It was before I picked you up this morning.”

Sara never failed to surprise Alyssa, when she casually mentioned a burger-swallow but had to clarify the timing of it. The group proceeded to climb after Sara’s flatulence flattened their frustration.

After another hour of steep climb, the group arrived at the top of the hill. Bill and Bob didn’t break a sweat, while Alyssa almost carried the debilitated and dehydrated Sara. Bill chuckled at the girls as they resembled the beat-up and dusty hobbits ready to destroy the ring. But the view was spectacular with the cool ocean breeze calming them.

Alyssa – “Where is Bob?”

Bill showed Bob had proceeded to the Rock on the far end of the hill where she saw him touch the rock with tenderness. “What is he doing?” asked Alyssa when Bill nudged her to find out.

As Alyssa closed on Bob, she could see the rock as writing on it.

The writing said – “Alice and Henry from Madison, Indiana met here”

Alyssa was breathless, not from the climb but the writing. Bob caressed his hands over that writing. Bob looked at Alyssa and asked – “Nosy to find out what this writing means to me?”

Alyssa just nodded. All of sudden she noticed Sara and Bill stood staring at them from behind.

Bob continued when he said – “Rejected him when he married her. Never saw him after that. I hike every year in June every year to remember him and writing. Don’t to dare shed a tear, can’t stand drama – he is not dead you see”

Alyssa was already bawling when she finally said – “Grandpa?”. She now realized her fascination with Bob as he resembled her father Henry in many ways. But she was absolutely surprised that her parents who worked day and night, who never had any adventures as long as she could remember, climbed this mountain top to create memories.

Bob stopped for a minute wide-eyed. Her eyes resembled his son’s, for him to finally smile. Bill shouted with excitement when Alyssa hugged her grandfather.

Alyssa looked at Sara – her blood red wacky friend wacked Alyssa away from kindness. Alyssa realized at instant that she was all Sara truly considered a friend. A bulky red-haired wacky girl apparently didn’t attract many people around her

Sara and Bill stood next to Alyssa when Alyssa asked – “How did..did you know?”

Sara – “Always helps to know people in the convenience store...” when she looked at Bill.

And the silent Bill finally spoke – “And always helps to recognize friends of my friend” when placing a hand on Sara’s shoulders. Bill looked at Alyssa and said – “Your eyes and smile were enough to recognize you when you usually come with Sara.”

Alyssa stood chagrined she didn’t recognize the people from the convenience store. But who cares, she finally met her grandfather.

Bob couldn’t look at Bill when he hugged his companion tight.

As Alyssa hugged Sara when Sara said – “This is my best birthday gift. Very exciting guys, but I really need to take a shit!”

Everybody looked stunned. Bob was angry with Sara, to interfere in his emotional moment.

Alyssa looked ridiculous and asked – “Here?”

Sara – “Why not? That’s exciting. All the trees, clouds and sea”

Bob continued – “And spiders and thorns?”

Sara turned serious and finally said – “It can wait!”

When the group arrived at the base of the hill, Alyssa looked at Bob and then said – “When will come home?”

Bob smiled – “Whenever you want me to.”

--------------The End-----------------