Purple

Now what. 

I can’t move. I can’t think. I’m just sitting here, frozen, mouth slightly agape, staring at a sea of people. 

Well, a room with about 50 wedding guests, give or take— but you get the point. This isn’t a great start for a Maid of Honor.

What am I supposed to do again? 

A small voice breaks through the fog. 

“Come on, Liss. You can do it. You’re almost there.” 

I look over at the boy sitting next to me. Not a boy anymore, not really. A man. Seth is more of a man now than our father ever was. 

I look into Seth’s big brown eyes, Mom’s eyes, and catch the wonder in them. I love the way he looks at me, has looked at me, all his life. He’s smiling as though I’ve already finished my speech and it’s enough to lift me up. 

No, quite literally I think I’m standing up. I hear my chair screech against the wooden floor as I push back, rising on wobbling legs. 

I grab the mic. 

“Thanks little brother,” I whisper. I give him one last look and then I turn my attention towards her. Towards the person I flew to England for, to be here today. 

Towards Mia. 

She’s sitting across the room from me, dozens of wedding guests between us. She might as well be an ocean away. But I lock eyes with her and she offers me a small smile. There’s no anger there, not even a bit of worry. 

Just patience. And love. 

I take a deep breath and click open my notes app on my phone. As I scroll through the speech I prepared, I think about everything Mia and I have been through. 

I think about the day Justin never came home, and how Mia was there to hold me, for months, as I sobbed into pillow after pillow. I think about when Mia’s Grandpop turned left instead of right on the freeway, and how often I visited Mia in the hospital afterwards.

I think about all the summers we shared, the secrets we kept promised, and the dreams we believed in. 

I think about the day we met, 22 years ago, and how formidable she was, she still is, to me. 

And I think— I think— I can start there. 

I glance back at Mia, tuck my phone in my pocket, and begin. 

“Hi everyone, it’s so nice to be here. My name is Alissa, and I’m Mia’s Maid of Honor. First of all, I want to congratulate the two of you, Mia and Mason, for getting married! Mia has been waiting for a love like this for a long time, and it makes me so happy to see her so happy.”

I pause and look at her. She’s smiling, beaming at me, and in that moment the rest of the room fades away. In that moment it’s just the two of us, and I find the courage to say what needs to be said. 

“When Mia asked me to say a few words today, I thought, how could I not? She’s my best friend. She’s always been my best friend, ever since I can remember. 

I remember when we were just ten years old and my soccer team, FC San Diego, played against our town rival, PQ Premiere. 

Her team was red and mine was blue. 

As our teams warmed up before the game, I couldn’t take my eyes off their intimidating center midfielder destroying her teammates during warmup: Mia, the one wearing the head gear. I quickly realized that being a center midfielder myself, I would soon get destroyed by her, too. And I did.

But standing there on the soccer field all those years ago, watching Mia out play everyone, never did I imagine that one day I’d be standing here, delivering this speech at her wedding. 

That’s the strange and sweet thing about life; it always finds a way to surprise us. 

So, a year and a twist of fate later our two soccer clubs merged, and then, we became teammates. Tryouts were scary, I thought I wouldn’t make the team, but somehow I earned a spot on the field beside her. 

The rest is history. 

Mia and I learned our homes were two blocks away from each other, and the quickest way to each other’s houses was by scooter. 

Hers was red and mine was blue. 

We lived in each other's houses and had sleepovers all the time. I remember all the nerf wars we had with my little brother (Hunger Games style). I remember fawning over her adorable dogs Ellio and Brownie. I remember the giant Fernando Torres poster she had hanging above her bed that she couldn't stop looking at. And I remember all those days we played soccer down at the park until the stars came out. 

Mia was in most, if not all, my favorite childhood memories. 

Then came high school. We didn’t need scooters anymore because we had cars. 

Hers was red and mine was blue. 

She’d share life’s greatest secrets with me, and I held onto each one like a lifeline. There was so much to learn, so much to know, and I finally had a sister to guide me. 

Fast forward through college, two ACL surgeries (we had the same surgeon and same knee brace, by the way), the pandemic, a couple break ups, getting our first career jobs… She was there for it all, by my side on the soccer field and in life. 

And I loved Mia because she was different from me. Really different. She was confident when I was timid. She was loud when I was quiet. She laughed a lot and had wild eyes.  

She was fearless. Always fearless. 

So I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised when she called me one day and told me she had met the man of her dreams (his name was Mason and he had an accent!), they were getting married, aaaand she would be moving to England. 

This was a big deal, my best friend moving across the world, but like I said, I knew Mia: She was bold. She was brave. And she always followed her heart. 

I got to meet Mason and quickly realized Mia had found someone who loved soccer (and puzzles) as much as she did. Her dog Binx would jump into Mason's arms as if she had known him since she was a puppy, and I knew it then: this was it. 

Mia had found her person.  

So when the day finally came for her to take the big jump and move here, I wasn’t worried at all.

I could see how happy she was, how in love she was.

Mia wasn’t flying away.

She was flying home.”

My voice cracks on the last sentence and I reach forward to grab my champagne glass. 

“So, let’s all raise our glasses to the lovely couple, and cheers, to Mia and Mason!”

I blink through a swell of tears as the room erupts in applause. Everyone is raising their glasses, cheering and drinking. Mia is already out of her seat and tearing her way through the crowd. 

And then there she is, veil and all. She wraps me in a bear hug and I hold her close, both of us crying.  

When we finally pull apart, we stand there holding hands, laughing through the tears. 

“Liss, I just, that was…” She begins, but I stop her. 

“Mia, you know I—” It’s hard to talk when you’re sobbing. And, fuck, I’m going to miss her.

I’m really going to miss her.

“You know I wouldn’t be anywhere else today,” I finish. But Mia shakes her head and this time, she’s the one who brings me to tears. 

“Liss, I’m absolutely terrified that I'm going to have to go through life without you. Birthdays, big life events, random days where I just want to call you and see if you want to hang out and do nothing— those days will be the toughest.” She squeezes my hand.

“But what I do know is that no one will ever replace you. You are my best friend and will forever be, no matter the distance between us. San Diego to Sheffield has nothing on us.

You’ll still be the first person I share any news with, the one person I trust to share all my deepest thoughts with, and the only person I trust to give me advice in my life. And…” 

Mia swipes at the tears falling down her cheeks and takes a breath.

“And just, thank you. Thank you for helping me get here. Thank you for protecting me. Thank you for believing in me. I can’t thank you enough for being my best friend, you know?” 

I nod, because I do know. 

I’ll always know. 

***

That night, we danced like maniacs out on the dance floor, and around midnight, glow sticks were passed around. Once Mia and I had ours, we giggled like the little kids we once were. Then, counting to three, we cracked the glow sticks together and watched the neon colors shine. And as we shook them out, we couldn’t stop laughing. 

Because hers was red and mine was blue.