One mistake

Dale watched the children playing in the front yard, chasing each other, giggling and laughing when the small black dog joined in. He couldn't help but smile at their antics, wishing he could be a part of it. The older girl ran around the large oak tree in the middle of the yard, the younger one chased after her until she disappeared up into its branches.

He took a deep breath and stepped out of the car, a large plastic bag full of colorfully wrapped boxes in his hand. The girls stopped playing and ran for the house the moment he stepped into the driveway. He flinched at the reaction his own kids had at seeing him. Most children would have run joyfully into their father's arms, but not his. His head hung in shame.

After a year, he had hoped his mistake wouldn’t still haunt him, but it seems that nothing had changed where his kids were concerned. They still ran scared every time they saw him. He wondered how many of the neighbors knew who he was and why he didn’t live with his family. Not that it mattered. They would gossip and make up whatever story suited them. With a heavy heart, he headed towards the red brick house.

His estranged wife stood at the door waiting, the girls hiding somewhere in the house behind her. He tried to peer around her rigid form, but the white door blocked most of his view. He never did understand why she hadn't divorced him after what he did. Tammy had left him, taken the kids, and refused to let him be a big part of their lives. He didn't blame her, not really. Every time he picked up his mail at the post office, he expected to see papers from a lawyer signaling the end of their marriage, but they never came.

“You can't just show up whenever you want.” With hands on her hips and lips pressed into a thin line, she was a force to be reckoned with. She had a temper but somehow always managed to keep it in check. He, on the other hand, was a loose cannon when it came to his anger.

“I just wanted to give them something for Christmas.” He held out the bag filled with gifts. She made no move to take it from him.

“You can’t buy back their love. You can’t undo what you did.” She crossed her arms over her chest. Her face softened ever so slightly as she looked at the bulging bag of presents.

“I don’t want to buy their love or your love. I just want to make up for what I did.”

A chuckle escaped her lips as she raised an eyebrow. “There is nothing you could ever do that would make up for what you did.” She took a step back inside the house and started to shut the door.

Without thinking, he stuck his foot in the door, stopping it from closing. With his free hand, he held the edge and pushed back slightly to relieve some of the pressure on his foot. Her eyes went wide, one hand reached around to her back, resting just above her back pocket where the butt of a gun peaked out.

He let go of the door with his hand but kept his foot firmly in place. “I’m sorry.” the words sounded hollow even to his ears. “I’ve changed. I'm not the same person I was back then.”

“I've heard that before, and nothing ever changed. I don't believe you anymore. I gave you chance, after chance. I was willing to try and work things out, even after you hit me. But the moment you laid a hand on my little girl...” Tears glistened in her hazel eyes. She tried to shove the door closed, but his foot still blocked it.

“Can the girls at least have the gifts?” He once again tried to hand her the bag overflowing with boxes wrapped with blue snowmen and red Santa clauses.

Tammy shook her head. “We don’t want anything from you. Move your foot, or I’ll call the cops.”

With narrowed eyes, Dale glared at her. "They're my kids too." He spat out angrily.

Fear flashed in her eyes as her hand inched closer to the gun. "Just leave us alone."

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath in an attempt to control his temper. Maybe he hadn't changed as much as he thought. He opened his eyes to look at her.

Emptiness gnawed at him as he searched her eyes for any hint that she would at least forgive him. It was like looking into an empty, emotionless void. His eyes moistened slightly, knowing she had closed her heart to him.

With nothing left to say, he pulled his foot free. The door slammed shut, bouncing the green wreath on its hook. He blew out his breath and placed the bag of gifts on the doorstep. He had no idea if the girls would ever see the presents or read the letter. His heart ached with the memory of what he did.

A single tear slipped down his face. No matter how many times he tried to fix things, tried to make things right, it did no good. One outburst of uncontrolled anger had lost him his wife, and kids. At that moment, he realized there was nothing he could do to ever make up for what he did.

He made a mistake he would pay for, for the rest of his life. He glanced back at the brick house with its white picket fence and big oak tree. This could have been his house.

Two faces appeared in the big picture window to the right of the door. He waved, and the faces disappeared in a whoosh of curtains. If only he could go back in time, change who he was before it was too late. He shook the thought from his head as he climbed into his little white car and drove away.