The ending

**WARNING: THIS STORY CONTAINS MENTAL HEALTH AND SUICIDE/SELF HARM**

Dear Diary,

This is my New Year's resolution, mom thinks it will help me.

-January 1st

Dear Diary,

Mom just told me I get to visit dad tomorrow, I am very exited I haven't seen him since before Christmas

-January 2nd

Dear Diary,

I am worried about mom she seems worried and scared. I don't know what to do. I also got to see dad today, I didn't like the hospital with its cold white rooms and perfect shiny hallways.

-January 3rd

Dear Diary,

Mom said that dad is coming home soon. I hope he is. I miss him. We can't see him very much when he's in the hospital. Maria May and Vanessa Pin were cheating on their test today. I was too scared to tell the teacher. No one likes me much in school, I'm just kinda there. Sometimes I wish I were invisible.

-January 4th

Dear Diary,

Today mom and I went to the doctor for my appointment. I am still a little underweight but the doctor said as long as I'm eating well it should be fine. Mom told me today that Dr. Wrig said that dad can come home on February 10th. Maria May invited me to sit with her at lunch, but I think it was to be mean not nice. I haven't told anyone why my dad's in the hospital, becasuse I'm to embarrassed. My dad was almost killed working for the CIA that's all I know. He went to Europe for about 2 weeks then came home and went into the hospital. It's hard for us to talk to him while he's working otherwise it might blow his cover. I hope he doesnt go back.

-January 5th

Dear Diary,

mom just told me that we are going on vacation, and I can choose where! i will probably choose the salt flats in Utah I have always wanted to go there. It just seems so pretty. And I love photography last year for my birthday I got a fancy camera. utah willl probably have good pictures to take!

-January 9th

Dear Diary,

Dad is getting discharged tomorrow. Me and mom are going to make his favorite dinner, Spaggetti and meatballs. With marinara sauce of course. and mom booked the flights to Utah for April break. I'm so exited.

-February 9th

Dear Diary,

Dad had to go back to the hospital last night. he wasnt home for very long. I miss him again. Hopefully this will only be a short visit.

-February 22nd

Dear Diary,

Mom has been very sad lately. I catch her crying more often than I don't. I feel bad for her. But there is nothing I can do. Dad hasn't come home yet. I think she feels like it's her fault. But its not.

-February 28th

Dear Diary,

Dad came home yesterday when I was at school. We watched a movie together and I drew some pictures of mom and dad cuddling each other on the couch. I'm a pretty good drawer.

-March 8th

Dear Diary,

-March 11th

Dear Diary,

Dad had to go back to the hospital in an ambulance lastinight, I had to call 911. Except I don't think they saved him this time.

-March 12th

Dear Diary,

I was right.

-March 13th

Dear Diary,

I miss him. I went to the wake today. Everyone was crying and wearing black. I've never been to a funeral before.

-March 20th

Dear Diary,

The funeral and wake is over now. Mom won't leave her room. She's been sobbing for days. Auntie Aunna came today. I don't think it's healthy for mom. Auntie Aunna made me dinner. It was good and she ate it with me before bringing mom a plate. Auntie Aunna left and told me nana would be back tomorrow

-March 23

Dear Diary,

I don't even want to live anymore.

-March 26th

Dear Diary,

I wish I were dead but I can't leave mom here alone.

-March 27th

Dear Diary,

Life is pointless and everyone in school told me to die. I think I agree with them.

-March 28th

Dear Diary,

-March 29th

March 30th:

The wind whips my hair into my face. I am cold. But pain will be gone soon. Everything will. Mom's body still lay in her bed. I didn't want to. I knew she wanted to be with dad and that it was only a matter of time before she did it herself. We will all be happier this way. I step out of the safety of the attic and onto the roof. I walk to the highest point. I jump. I feel pain but then it's gone. Everything is. I see mom and dad waiting for me smiling, I was the last one. I smile. I shiver and jump in my sleep. My eyes flutter open. The dream is over. Just like my life.

OPTIONAL (because I wanted to end the story on I don't even want to live anymore and an empty entry then I wanted to end it on March 30th but it wasn't enough words so if you want too read this part but it really is just adding fluff to the story. I wish that I could've ended the story at March 30th it's so much more mysterious. So sorry guys :(

March 31st:

The wind is chilling. Real this time. This time mom is actually in her bed. I am ready. I am willing. I want to be with them. Life isn't fair. Life isn't right. Nothing about anything is ever fair. Why did it have to be my dad? Why? I never did anything wrong! Why couldn't they take a person with no family to go home to! A person who didn't want to live anymore. I had so much more life to live! I realize I'm sobbing. Hot tears streaming down my face. I'm going to end this. I'm going to make sure I can be with dad forever. I'm going to decide. And I'm going to end it.