LIVING IN THE SHADOWS

Seth hunkered down behind a large leafy bush. He could smell a strong urine scent of an animal that had recently relieved himself close by, but his need for safety far outweighed his need for the luxury of a rose-scented bush. He could hear them coming. They were not trying to hide themselves or camouflage their numbers, why would they? They obviously had the upper hand, he was but one, they were many. Or at least there seemed to be many. They were big boys, strong boys…mean boys.

Last week they had slammed him into a locker at the end of the school day. After what seemed like hours, the janitor had finally heard his cry for help and broke down the locker door, and released him. They hadn't yet replaced the locker door and the twisted wreckage of the door remained as a tribute to his persecutors and as an example warning to those who would dare to gainsay The Badger Boys, as they called themselves. 

They paused, just on the other side of the bush he was hiding behind. Seth crouched even lower, a slight snarl startled him and he looked deep into the bush and met the golden eyes of a feral cat. Its once thick coat was now patchy. Sections of thick mottled fur interspersed with sections of balding, moldy-looking, mangy patches. It hissed again and the bushes rustled as it lashed out a clawed paw in Seth's direction. Seth understood his message. “This is my bush get out.” Seth feared the Badger Boys more than he did a feral cat and stayed put, but he lowered his eyes in submission to the king of the bush. He was a master, but only when it came to submission; he had, literally, years at perfecting the stance. Head down, eyes lowered and if need be, belly on the ground and arms curved protectively over his head. The perfect position for groveling, begging, and pleading.

Seth heard a voice from the sidewalk in front of the bush, “What's that noise?  I heard something in the bushes. It must be Seth, we've got him now,” it was Luke the leader of the pack. “Jake, you and Dwight go around the bush that way, Raj, you and Chang go around the other way. We will ambush him.”

“If he's behind this bush it won't exactly be an ambush because he can hear us,” stated Chang succinctly.

“Shut up Chang, you know what I meant. You want a piece of me?

“Just sayin’” mumbled Chang.

Just then the cat gave a loud meow and snaked his body through the intertwining branches and emerged on the sidewalk in front of the Badger Boys.

“It's not him, it's not Seth, it's just a cat,” declared Dwight.

“That thing is a cat? it looks like a mutant alien beast,” stated Jake with disdain.

“Well, it's not Seth and it smells bad, real bad. Let's get out of here. We will get that pipsqueak Seth another day. Let's go,” ordered Luke.

Seth could hear them as they noisily traveled down the sidewalk, He waited a good ten minutes before emerging from behind the bush, peering nervously in the direction they had left in. They were a cagey group, they might double back. He stood for a moment trying to catch his breath after hauling himself to his feet.

He jumped about a foot when he heard his name called. He turned, a look of terror on his face. He clutched his pudgy hand to his chest, then breathed a sigh of relief. It was just Mr. Winters, the gym teacher at school. He was only a block from school so it stood to reason that a teacher might be in the vicinity at this time of day. He knew Mr. Winter lived close to the school and often saw him in the neighborhood. All the kids knew the exact location of Mr. Winter's house and egged and toilet-papered it every Halloween. It was tradition,  and it was a right of passage, a childhood expectation to harass teachers, just on principle. Mr. Winter was one of them, even if he was the most-liked teacher at school.

“Seth? Seth are you okay?” asked Mr. Winter with concern in his voice.” I just saw you creeping out of the bushes. Why were you hiding in the shadow of the bushes?  Are you okay?” He asked again.

Seth couldn’t speak yet, he just nodded.

“I heard about the trouble you had last Friday after school,  you know…the locker and everything. I was sorry to hear about that. If you ever need anyone to come to and talk about things. I'm here for you”.

 Seth stood rocking back and forth, not quite looking Mr. Winter in the eye.

“I know you refused to tell Principal Riley who it was that locked you in the locker but I have a pretty good idea who it was. If you feel more comfortable telling me, that's okay too. I know there is a code; you don’t rat people out, but I’d really like to help you.”

Mr. Winter was one of the best-liked teachers in the school, he was firm but fair, He knew every student in the school by name. Seth knew that some of the kids went to Mr. Winter with their problems when they felt they couldn’t go to anyone else.

“I c…c…can't.” he stuttered.

“You mean you don't know who it was that locked you in a locker on a Friday night,” his teacher asked him.

“No, I mean I can't rat out my friends.”

“Seth, whoever locked you in that locker after school on Friday, with the possibility that you might not have been found till Monday morning, was NOT your friend. You were lucky the janitor forgot his mop in that section of the school and had to go back for it.”

“If I tell it will only make it worse. They will annihilate me. They hate me.”

“Why? Why do you think they hate you?” Mr. Winter asked gently.

Seth looked down at the ground and scuffed his shoes in the grass. Finally, he said, “Cause I’m fat. Cause I’m stupid. Cause I’m a wimpy weakling. Cause I’m different.”

“Different? Why do you think you’re different?”

“I just am, always have been.”

“Seth, we are all different and unique in our own ways We each have our own personalities, unique character quirks, and idiosyncrasies, our own flaws, imperfections, defects, weaknesses, but also our own attributes, talents, strengths, and skills.”

Mr. Winter was just warming up, he gestured with his hands, his face intent and resolved. It was clear he was on a mission.

“These differences are what makes our world interesting, It would be pretty boring if we were all alike, just a bunch of clones, all looking the same, acting the same.”

“But it's easy for you, you are a grownup and everybody at school likes you. You’re every kid's favourite teacher, even the kids that don’t get you for gym. All the girls always say you are the cutest teacher here and all the guys are always saying how ripped you are and you can bench press five hundred pounds or whatever.”

“Well, that's a gross exaggeration but I get your drift and thanks for those compliments but it wasn’t always like that for me. When I was your age I was just like you.” Mr. Winter nodded his head vigorously.

“What, you were fat and ugly?” Seth asked with disbelief.

“Well, let's just say I was a lot heavier than I should have been. A lot heavier,” he emphasized. “I had absolutely no style or if I did have a style it was a dowdy and unkempt style. I had no friends, I hated myself and everyone else too. I had all the personality of a… a… an ameba.”

“Really? No way. But you are so friendly and funny too. Mr. Wilson let's face it, you have it goin’ on.”

“I wasn't always like this, that's what I am trying to tell you. I had to learn to like myself before I finally, and I do mean finally, got it all together.”

“Like yourself, scoffed Seth. Why did you have to like yourself, as long as other people like you isn't that all that matters?”

“Awh, the misconceptions of youth. If you don't like yourself, how will others like you?”

“ So how did you do it?” asked Seth with a modicum of interest.

“Do what?”

“Go from like this,” he grabbed his muffin top belly and gave it all a good shake, “to all of that” he gestured towards Mr. Winter’s tall, fit body.

“This is something I have never told a living soul other than my Mum and Dad.  Not my best friends not any of my girlfriends. NOBODY. He looked around as if he half expected that the trees had ears. “One day I found myself in a similar situation as you find yourself in today. I lived on a farm with a bunch of other red-necked kids, as people say, and truth be told, I was probably the red-neckiest of them all. That's probably not even a word but you get my drift. One day I was working away in my father's hay field and some of the older kids at my school came along in their pickup truck. They thought it would be fun to lasso me with a lariat just like they do bulls at the country fair. So they chased me down, caught me and hog-tied me, and left me like that in the field until my Dad finally found me the next morning; wetter than a duck in a pond. It had rained and thundered and lightninged all night long and there I lay hoping that lightning wouldn't hit that giant county fair belt buckle that I wore back in the day. My Dad searched all night long for me.”

“At least you had a Dad that cared enough to search for you all night long. Mine walked out on me and my Mum when I was eight. Then my Mum up and left when I was ten. My Gran, I don’t think she cares much about what happens to me.”

“Yeah, sometimes life throws us a curveball. My Gran always told me when life hands you lemons…”

“Make lemonade, ya I’ve heard that before. But tell me how you made lemonade out of your lemons.”

“Well that very next day, after those bullies hog-tied me, I decided to make some real changes in my life. I figured a lot of my life had to do with making choices. Better choices. In life, there are some things you can choose to change and some things you can not change no matter how much you choose to. I was determined to make the conscientious choice to change what I could. I started working out; we had a long driveway that must have been about a half mile long. I ran that driveway till I put a rut in it from all my running, I started to eat more of the fruit and vegetables that my Mum grew in the garden. And I helped my Dad a lot more around the farm. Do you have any idea how much a bale of hay weighs? Probably about forty to seventy-five pounds. I moved a lot of hay bales that summer. By the end of that summer, I lost about forty pounds and sprouted up a good four or five inches, and started taking care of how I dressed, and how I looked, I started feeling better about myself started liking myself, learned to love myself and figured out I was worthy. I sorta had a wellness plan going on, you know, Mind, Body, and Spirit.”

Mr. Winter crossed his arms across his strong healthy body, then giving a nod as if he had reached a major decision, he reached into the back pocket of his pants and pulled out his wallet. Opening it up he pulled out a worn picture and held it up for Seth to see. “This was me when I was about your age. I keep it to remind myself of what I was and what I have become. That hard work pays off, that we can all be better people. That we can make choices, better choices for our lives, that we don't have to be weaklings, afraid of bullies. We don’t have to be living in the shadows, concealing ourselves behind a bush, hiding from bullies. I made a promise that day  as I lay,  soaking wet, trussed up with rope in the field, that I would never let anyone make me feel like a victim and that I would learn also to forgive those who bullied and persecuted me I see such potential in you Seth, you just have to believe in yourself.”

Seth stared at the picture for a long time in stunned surprise. It was hard to believe the changes that Mr. Winter had made in his life.

“Well that's it, that's my story. I still run around the track at school every day, rain or shine, you’ve probably seen me. People might think I’m a little crazy but that track is my happy place. This is the last week of school before summer vacation. I usually spend the summers running or jogging around the school’s track, I take some weights and other equipment in the back of my SUV and work out in the middle of the track. You are free to join me. I won't ask you to come to my home gym, cuz that would just be weird and unprofessional but I’m sure no one would object to us running on the track, outside, on public school property.

Mr. Winter put the ragged picture back in his wallet and the wallet back in his pocket.

“I volunteered to paint all the school bleachers this year, it wasn’t in the School Board's budget but they okayed me volunteering my time and for me paying for the paint and everything. Maybe if it's okay with your Gran, you might like to help me. Unless you have some plans for summer vacation?”

“So what, you feel sorry for me because I’m almost an orphan,” asked Seth. You feel sorry for me because everyone picks on me.”

Look Seth, I do feel sorry that some bad things are happening to you but I like you and I think I can maybe help you a bit and that maybe you can help me a bit this summer.” Mr. Winter broke into a grin,” do you have any idea how many heavy paint cans it will take to paint all those bleachers? I could really use the help and it sure beats living in the shadows underneath a bush. What do you say?.”

“Yeah, I’d like that”.

 “Also running the stairs on the bleachers is a great workout, just don't step on the sections with the fresh wet paint.”

“Deal,” said Seth and gave Mr. Winter a high five.

                                                             *******

September came and school was back in session. The front lawn of the school was filled with students renewing friendships and chatting about their summer holidays. The Badger Boys were sitting on the brick wall that ran beside the stairs to the main entrance.  They commented as each student climbed the steps to the front doors; a wolf whistle for those girls who met their criteria or a snort of derision for those deemed not up to snuff. Their mates got the same scrutiny that the girls did albeit no wolf whistles for them. A new student caught their eye coming down the walkway.

“Oh look,” said Luke, “ here comes a new student… fresh meat for The Badger Boys.”

The new student was accompanied by several pretty girls on either side of him. Dana and 

Kristen,  two of the most popular girls in the school. They were all laughing and smiling.

Luke looked hard.” That's not a new kid. That's… that's Seth.” he said in utter disbelief.

It was Seth, looking fit and wholesome his muscles rippling under his tight body-hugging shirt. He had grown a great deal over the summer and lost a good forty pounds, his acne had cleared, his hair was styled and his clothes were trendy. He came up the stairs with his harem and paused on the step even with Luke. Stopping he nodded, smiled, and looking Luke straight in the eye he said, “Hello Badgers.” then confidently walked into the school with an arm around each girl.