The Beginning of the End

He sent me away.  I really wanted to bash my head into the steering wheel as I drove down the empty highway. The desert never really suited me. I had to return to Florida with my tail tucked between my legs. But I had nowhere else to go. I wasn’t going to draw things out by forcing him to continue living with me. Phoenix was truly his, and I had only wished for it to be our’s. The look in his eyes before he turned for the door had shattered something deep inside my soul. I had packed up everything of mine I could find and stuffed it back into my Hyundai. He had been gone for three hours without a word. That was my cue. I had called my mom to ask her if it was okay to come home. There was no hesitation in her voice. “Of course.” She had thought this whole masquerade was a bad idea from the start. I assumed she was just waiting for me to realize it myself. It had taken a good seven months. The landscape seemed never ending, but I wouldn’t allow myself to let any more tears fall to water this dead landscape. 

The shower water was still running. I tried to tune out the ringing of his cellphone from the bedroom. It drove me crazy. When I asked him who could possibly be calling all the time the answer was always either “my mom” or “a friend”. I knew he was lying. It would start up as he was getting ready for work. He was a bartender, outgoing and handsome. He had let his hair start getting more shaggy since we had met. It suited him. We were on different schedules so only had a few hours together certain days of the week. I got home at 3, he left at 6:30. Saturday and Sunday mornings had been our quality time, but lately he had been picking up doubles whenever he could. His affection and attention were limited these days. The phone kept ringing but the water didn’t stop. Enough. I got from my seat on the couch and crept across the hallway to our room. I made sure to keep an ear out as I peered at the screen. There was no picture. Just a name. Meghan. I didn’t recognize the name as someone he had introduced. The call finally went to a voicemail and a text almost immediately popped up. Are you on your way yet? Innocent enough. Maybe it was a coworker. Or even a very good customer. Nothing to worry about, right? I released the breath and I didn’t realize I was holding and turned away. Only to come face to face with him standing in the doorway, a towel wrapped around his waist. The water still dripped down his handsome face but it was his eyes that held my attention. 

We laughed together as we walked down the streets of downtown. He held me close, making sure I was steady in my heels. It felt good to dress up and hit the town. The red mini dress clung to every curve. I had made sure to style my hair perfectly but not go over the top on makeup. It was my first time meeting his friends. I wanted nothing more than to make a good impression, I wanted him to be proud to have me on his arm. My first month or so after moving out here had spent job searching, interviewing, and trying to navigate this new city. I had never been as much of an extrovert as him either. I had always been a homebody, stuck between the pages of novels. We came to the door of the cocktail parlor and he whisked me inside. The place was filled with the Saturday night crowd but he weaved his way through like an expert, keeping a constant reassuring grip on my hand. We finally made our way to a table where two men and three women sat. They were all amazingly good looking and greeted him enthusiastically.

“Long time no see man!” “Where have you been hiding?” “We thought you didn’t like us anymore.”

He went down the line to hug or fist bump each one before introducing me. They looked at me with focused interest in their eyes. Who was this stranger that had been holding their buddy hostage? He pulled out the chair for me at the end before taking his place next to me. I let him place a drink order for us, surprised when he only ordered one. He smiled at me, winking, telling me to just wait and see. I laughed as the drink arrived, a large yellow duck with two straws sticking out of it. 

“The first one you gotta share,” the blonde named Kyle explained. “It’s a tradition for new relationships.”

The rest of the evening passed easily. I never felt pressured to add to the conversation but his friends still made sure to include me by asking questions. I felt warm as the time came to depart and I felt a sense of welcome that would hopefully extend to a pleasant new social life. 

Girl’s weekend had begun. Marina, Kaylee, and I had driven down to Miami from Kissimmee to enjoy the electric energy for a weekend. As soon as we were done checking into the hotel and unloading the car, we had headed down to the beach. While the other two had chosen tiny bikinis that fit in well, I had chosen a more conservative monokini. The bright turquoise was the only thing that made it pop. Even at twenty one, I had spent more weekends at the local theme parks than at parties. Attending the University of Florida had kept me close to home so I had missed out on living the crazy dorm life that my small group of friends talked about. It sucked to admit but I had had a pretty sheltered life. It had been just my mom and me for years. I felt the need to always be there for her. We had maintained a very close relationship and she was the one that had convinced me that I needed to go on this trip. Graduation was right around the corner and I deserved a breath of fresh air. We laid out our towels and while the other girls laid out to catch a tan, I headed towards the water. I stopped at the edge of the ocean as the warm water lapped across my toes. With eyes closed, I breathed in the salty smell and let myself be encompassed by the sounds around me. And when I let my eyes slowly creep open, they landed on the shirtless man standing a few feet further in. Black ink crawled across his back to form the image of the headless horseman. My breath caught in my throat as he slowly turned and I could see his face. He was clean shaven with brown hair that barely touched his ears. He wasn’t overly muscular but he still had some definition. His green eyes locked on mine as he caught me staring. I turned away quickly as I felt a hot flush spread across my cheeks. I contemplated rushing back to the safety of my friends but before my brain could process anything he was standing in front of me.

“Well hello there.”

I turned slowly to face him, a goofy smile stretched across his face. He had a dimple in his left cheek. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to be so rude,” I stammered.

“It’s okay,” he laughed. “Hopefully you were staring cause you liked what you were seeing and not the opposite.

He invited me to sit with him and the time passed quicker than I could have imagined. We laughed and shared stories of home. He told me how he was on vacation from Arizona, letting loose before starting a new job. Suddenly my friends were calling to me. We were going to be late for our dinner reservation. I sighed as I stood, brushing the sand off my bottom and legs. I assumed this would be goodbye to this beautiful stranger.

“You know, I will be here for a couple more days. Maybe I could see you again before you leave?” he suggested. “What’s the worst that could happen?” 

I mulled it over wondering if this boy could be trouble. It couldn’t be too terrible to socialize a bit with him, he did live across the country after all. 

“I mean, you could break my heart for all I know,” I joked.

“Well I certainly hope not. I would never let you get away.”