For weeks now, a certain scent had drawn him to this place each morning. still unusual, yet the scent of an intricate figure, had been pulling him through the doorway and into the bustling symphony within. He settled into his usual worn leather chair in the corner and was assaulted by layers of sound and texture as he waited, for her.
He cataloged each sensory detail, clinging to these impressions like a lifeline. The rising heat from a fresh mug, the sharp citrus oils released into the air when a lemon is squeezed - these things he could understand, not like the inscrutable nuances of facial expressions. For him, these were nothing, but mysteries hidden behind blurry paintings.
Ever since that day, that senseless day. Something essential had been missing in him, some innate ability severed. He could see the individual parts - the foggy eyes, upturned nose, bow-shaped lips - but he simply could not fuse them into a coherent whole. His world is painted in impressionist swirls and reduced to blurry outlines. But she! She was different! She might be the one - his savior!
He sat by the window, gazing out at the city streets below as the cacophony of morning noises swirled around him. Brief snippets of conversation drifted past on currents of steam and bean-perfumed air. His fingertips tapped impatiently on screens or drummed distractedly on worn tables as he desperately waited, for her.
Checking his watch for the third time in as many minutes, he scanned the room, careful to avoid direct eye contact. There was a couple whispering closely in the corner, fingers interlaced beneath the table. A student typed furiously on her laptop; bookmark-filled textbooks spread haphazardly around her. The hiss and whoosh of the ornate metal machines rang out as orders were filled and handed across the crowded counter space. Nervous passengers picked routes between packed tables, finding what little open seats remained.
And then, the chime above the door finally announced her arrival. Unruly dark hair, cashmere sweater, scuffed oxfords - an impressionist painting of a person, blurry yet distinct. He studied the contours of her silhouette as she waited in line. He shouldn't be there, shouldn't have come, but the temptation proved far too great. Just a quick glimpse, in and out. No expectations, no connections - his longtime mantra.
He could almost forget the chaos in his mind when she walks in, the gaping void where connection should be. He sought solace in the senses, steeping himself in smells, sounds, textures. Here in this place, they surrounded him, transported him, kept him safely anchored. Until the chime above the door announces her.
Two chairs scraped loudly against the floor as the couple gathered their things to leave. She glanced around, oversized mug in hand. The sound of his heartbeat resembled a machine gun the closer his eyes got to hers. He looked down at his hands again, clenching them tightly around his mug, until he heard the squeak of the vacant chair in front of him being pulled out.
"Do you mind if I sit?" a voice asked.
He lifted his head up and their eyes were met for the first time. It was a fraction of a second, but it was enough. Enough for him to notice the green flare in her hazel eyes, the upturned corner of her mouth. Something clenched in his chest. He didn't trust his voice, so he shook his head mutely. This was uncharted territory now. She settled in across from him, and he felt the gears of his world shift almost imperceptibly. Maybe it was time to take a risk.
He took a slow, deep breath as she situated herself at the small table across from him. The rich aroma of her steaming drink reached him, mingling with the faint scent of her luscious hair, and her floral perfume. Yet, for some reason, underneath all these scents, something familiar seemed to be hiding. He fixed his gaze just past her shoulder, still unable to meet her eyes directly.
"I'm Claire, by the way," she offered, her voice tentative yet warm.
"Noah," he replied simply, wrapping his hands tightly around his cooling mug. An uncomfortable silence settled between them, and he scrambled to fill it, to keep this connection, this rescue buoy from slipping away.
"I… I come here a lot," he gestured vaguely. "it’s a nice place.”
She nodded, leaning forward slightly. "I can see why. It's very soothing here."
Through the fringe of his lowered eyelashes, he noticed her eyes dart curiously to his face and then away again. Even this oblique interest made his pulse quicken.
He couldn't ignore it anymore! Underneath Claire's perfume, a familiar scent. It tickled at the edge of his memory, conjuring glimpses of sun-warmed grass, laughter echoing across a playground. The scent was achingly familiar, yet just out of reach.
His eyes were drowning in the black sea inside of his mug, the scent kept washing over him. It reminded him of something from long ago, something precious. If he could just grasp the fragments swirling in the darkness behind this foggy glass, perhaps they would reveal who she really was to him. But the harder he chased the memories, the more they scattered like startled birds. He was even more on edge than before. Who was this woman across from him, with her soothing voice and teasingly familiar scent?
The sounds faded into background noise as Claire began speaking.
"I've been coming here for years. This place...it's comforting. When the world outside moves too quickly, the warmth here feels like a hug."
She paused; eyes unfocused like she was viewing a distant memory. He noticed a subtle smile play on her lips.
"They bake an orange cake here. Just a simple, humble little thing. The zest against the buttery cake, and the glaze on top...it's like a brilliant sunset."
Her voice dropped, almost to a whisper. "As a girl, I had a best friend who lived for that color. He loved anything orange - cakes, candies, even orange socks."
He caught a glint of playfulness in her eyes as she continued. "We'd climb to the highest branch of our tree, he'd point west at the setting sun, and say 'Someday, we'll chase that!'"
Claire smiled softly at the memories. "So, whenever I see that orange cake, it takes me back. It's the little pleasures, you know?"
He nodded slowly, surprised by Claire's openness. He sensed in her tone that this childhood friend was dear to her heart. Her face seemed to radiate a gentle warmth as she shared these reminiscences. Her words resonated through him in a way he couldn't explain. He clung to them like a life preserver.
"I… I had a place like that once," Noah's words hung in the air, fragile as a spider's web. He cleared his throat, willing himself to continue. "A tree taller than the house..." his voice barely audible over the noisy clatter.
Claire leaned in, her gaze encouraging him to take his time. Noah took a slow breath and continued even quieter than before. "It had branches that stretched like a ladder toward the sky."
He trailed off, but something in Claire's eyes told him she understood. She gazed at him steadily, but didn't pry further, just nodded with a gentle empathy that caught him off guard.
Claire smiled encouragingly as he mentioned the tree from his childhood.
"Tell me more about that tree." She said, her question hung in the air between them. Noah dropped his eyes, unable to withstand the care in Claire's expression, and in a second, his eyes got sunk inside that mug again, drifting in the fragmented echoes of his past, picturing the massive oak tree that dominated his backyard. In a low tone, he went on.
"It was an oak tree, with a trunk almost too wide to hug. The bark was rough and rigid. In summer, the leaves were so thick you couldn't see the sky."
His voice was scarcely above a murmur now as he continued conjuring details. The cool shade under its branches. The snapped twigs and scattered acorns across the ground. The rope swing dangling from a high bough, the ropes fraying from countless hours of play.
Claire studied Noah from across the small table as his words trailed off, the memories hanging thick in the steam-filled air. Noah kept his eyes fixed on the mug cradled in his hands, the remnants of his distant past reflections swirling in its inky depths.
The noisy clatter faded, no more than distant white noise. Between Noah and Claire, only silence, as thick as honey. Few seconds stretched by, each settling around them with the weight of years.
Noah's eyes became anchored to the tabletop, studying whorls in the wood that resembled fractured memories. Steam rose languidly from his forgotten mug, fogging the air and mingling with Clair’s familiar scent.
After the small, yet eternal pause, Claire chuckled lightly. The sound cut through the cozy ambience like a stone cast into a still pond. leaning toward him intently, her next words jolted him from his broken world. "I remember that oak tree." She said.
Noah's eyes flickered up in confusion. Claire's smile held a trace of her earlier warmth, yet something heavier lingered behind her expression now. In the space between them, fragments of memory and present intertwined - intangible yet palpable.
His lungs constricted; breath caught. His eyes, cuffed and locked on Claire’s lips. Remember? Impossible word. That tree was his and his alone, a tether to a past only he should know, or so he believed.
Her words continued to reverberate through his mind, unfathomable words. His oak tree, carved deep into the bedrock of his memory, part of the landscape of a past only he could know. He was alone, he was sure of it, after all, he always was.
Panic rose in his chest, acidic and burning. He tried to calm himself down with lies and possibilities, but Claire’s scent was like a headlight in the dark ocean that he was trying to hide in. something that he could not ignore anymore. The monsters of that senseless day clawed at the walls of his memories, salivating over Claire's scent like starving predators.
"Who is this woman?" Noah wondered. "A savior come to rescue me from my isolation, or another agony come to tear open old wounds?"
Claire continued, oblivious to Noah's turmoil. "I loved that old oak tree dearly, as did my friend." Her eyes glinted with nostalgia. "Mr. Thompson never shared our affection though, I think. The branches grew so wide they blocked the view of his restaurant from the road."
She chuckled softly. "That tree was a wily thing. Some days, when Mr. Thompson's cooking stank up the whole block, I like to think those leaves rustled just a bit more to spare the neighborhood from another bout of food poisoning."
Noah sat still, barely breathing, as Claire spoke. The more details that emerged to affirm their shared past, the further his tenuous grip on reality slipped. The vibrant chaos of the place dissolved into silence till only Claire's voice remained, cutting through the shroud that veiled his eyes.
Some ancient, primal instinct warned him to flee the sanctuary she offered, to burrow back into the bleak isolation that had become his single source of comfort. But creeping tendrils of hope had sprouted too, their fragile shoots yearning for the light in her eyes despite his resistance. Salvation or suffering awaited - he stood paralyzed at the start of a splitting road, terrified to move in either direction.
Claire leaned closer. He could feel her breath gentle against his face, yet he could not meet her eyes no matter how openly she regarded him.
" You know, the thing I loved most about that old tree, were the words carved on it..." she said softly. "Be an oak tree, don’t focus on the leaves you lose…” Claire began, but before she could utter the beloved words, Noah finished them himself in a prayerful whisper:
"Focus on the leaves you still have!"
At that moment. Little Tears welled unbidden on Noah's eyelids, He did not dare to blink, scared to release them, a fear that reality would shatter once more into fragments too painful to reclaim.
As Claire spoke the familiar phrase, something broke loose within Noah that had lain dormant for so long. The memories came flooding back in cathartic release - summer days spent clambering among those branches. Claire’s familiar scent reminded him of a friend, his laughter borne aloft on the breeze. A simpler time before loss and confusion had obscured his heart in shadow.
Unsure what to do, he tried to seek cover in the senses. But, as the words faded into the space between them, the clinking mugs, the ornate metal machines, the nervous crowd, and every little thing around him, all fell silence, slowing to stillness in a thick fog. Everything blurred at the edges like a watercolor left out in the rain.
But then… he felt a solacing touch of a kind hand under his chin, delicate yet sure, guiding his stare to meet hers through the fog. Though the world had dissolved around him, and for the first time since that day, her face was as clear as the summer sky.
"Hi, Noah," she whispered, as she looked directly at his eyes, through his glasses, framed in orange spectacles.
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