Desperate Remedies

Wendy, a very curious and precocious child with a brilliant mind, eagerly explored the world around her, soaking up knowledge like a sponge and leaving a trail of wonder in her wake. Once she began to recognize the beauty around her, the more she wanted to share it with others, her enthusiasm infectious and her passion palpable. Unfortunately, though, her mental health was often a struggle, casting shadows on her otherwise bright spirit. Each time she wanted to share her light and the beauty she discovered, the shadow wanted to bind her and keep her chained because her dream was to change the world in her own way. But when she was alone at night, the shadow clung to her, implanting thoughts into her brain. The shadow would say: 'You will never be enough. Why would you think it would be you? Why even bother? Nobody can stand you. Your existence is inessential.' Wendy's eyes swell from tears as she walks to the bathroom, turns on the light, and looks in the mirror. She says, 'You're right. Who am I kidding? I do not belong here.' The shadow embraces her once again. 'You're right, my darling. You do not belong here, so why don't you take a handful of those pills?' The shadow chuckles, 'Why even ask? I know you'll do it. I have you under my spell; you could never escape this hell. I am nothing without your light, so I must take it for myself so I can shine brightly. I cannot attack you directly, so I will fill your mind full of poison. For each lie that I tell you, I take over. "You'll never be enough, why even bother?" I start with her heart because that is her soul's center, slowly covering her in darkness. Desperate remedies for desperate people; the shadow has now become the puppet master. It is time to take the pills in the bottle.

As Wendy reached for the bottle, her hands began to tremble, uncertainty gnawing at her resolve. She had battled with the Shadows whispers all her life, its insidious voice chipping away at her confidence and conviction. "Am I doing the right thing?" she wondered aloud, her voice barely above a whisper. But before she could dwell on her doubts, the shadow's voice slithered into her mind, cold and persuasive. "Darling, would I ever lie to you?" it hissed, its words dripping with malice. "You know I am telling the truth. You have been made a fool time and time again, so why don't you just give up and give in?" The words hung heavy in the air, suffocating any semblance of resistance Wendy had left. Despite Wendy’s trembling hand, she caves and places ten pills in her mouth. With one final look in the mirror, she says, ‘You’re right, goodbye. I don’t deserve to be here’ and swallows deeply while tears stream down her face, waiting for the inevitable. As her breath began to grow shallow, she felt her self-slipping away consumed by the darkness that had plagued her. But then unexpectedly, she heard another voice, one she did not recognize. It was calm and comforting, the antithesis of the shadow’s sinister whispers. ‘It is not your time. Do not let go,’ the voice reassured her. In an instant, Wendy began expelling the darkness from within, each retch a forceful purge of the shadow that had enveloped her. She purged until there was nothing left once every ounce of the shadow had been expelled Wendy questioned whether the voice was real or just a hallucination induced by the pills.

The next day, Wendy realized that it did not matter whether the voice was real or not; what mattered was that she had found the strength to fight back. From that day forward, she vowed to never let the darkness consume her again. Wanting to honor her soul, she took the initiative to show herself the same love she freely gave to others, and in the process, she became whole. After some time, the shadow made another appearance, but Wendy simply acknowledged its presence without letting it control her. Following a near-death experience, she had an epiphany: the shadow had been a part of her since childhood, an integral aspect of her growth. Wendy understood that life required balance; there could not be light without darkness. To maintain equilibrium, she filtered her thoughts, questioning their alignment with her true self whenever negativity arose. Throughout her life, she had struggled to balance the dark and the light, often swaying between extremes depending on her state of mind. Now, she was determined to find harmony and embrace both aspects of her being.

Wendy realized that even in pain, there is still a lesson to learn and something to gain. She understood that life can be challenging; it is all about perspective. Through her experience with the darkness, she learned the invaluable skill of resilience, taking everything with a grain of salt. Just because something is said does not make it true; she learned to acknowledge words without granting them power. A phrase that Wendy once loved, 'Water off a duck's back,' became her mantra during moments of darkness. It symbolized the temporary nature of struggles—like water rolling off a duck's back, she could shake off adversity and start anew. This mindset empowered her to face challenges with courage and optimism, knowing that every setback was an opportunity for growth.

Ever since that fateful day, when she confronted the shadow within herself, everything changed. She realized that she did not have to live in despair any longer; there was hope for healing and transformation. Whether the voice she had heard that day was real or a hallucination remained a mystery to Wendy, but its impact on her was undeniable. It served as a catalyst for her journey toward self-discovery and healing. It was as though the voice had unlocked a door within her, allowing rays of light to penetrate the darkness that had shrouded her mind for so long.