Dear son, dont be afraid to be different - letters for the future

Today is March 20th, 2065

My mom is quiet now… I wish I could hear her voice. Wait…I can! I just found a notebook with letters for me. Having down syndrome is not easy. I had to learn how to communicate and I believe I learned ... .And if there was someone who believed in me, those were my parents.Now I have this notebook…hard to read. But there is one letter… 40 years old. I love it so much that I will write it here in my log.

My dad told me to keep a log of what I do, it was my mom´s idea. Here I just share my heart. Here is one of the letters:

“Morelos, Mexico. Today is March 20th, 2025 approx 11 am

Dear son,

I know you won't get this letter until much later. I hope to be alive and able to share this writing with you. If for some reason I can't talk to you, just read this notebook.

I want to tell you how proud your dad and I are of you. You are overcoming lots of challenges. You are four years old now. You always have been our treasure and special boy. You are different of other kids your age because you have down syndrome. It is nothing wrong with that you just take more time, for instance you are starting to stand and walk a  few little steps. Now we are at Mexico visiting abuela (grandma) and other family, as you know you are Mexican-Canadian. You are attempting to speak and say lots of things but it is hard to understand you. Don´t worry, we will keep trying. 

But now I just want to tell you a couple things about yourself, who knows? Maybe in the future will be useful. Anyway, here it is… I have always admired your resilience and enthusiasm….Every time you put your mind on  getting something it is almost nothing that can stop you from achieving your goals! For instance, earlier today you decided to explore the kitchen, not walking yet but oh boy! You certainly move very fast bumpscooting. You found a gabinet and this gabinet had a door… Who knows what secrets will I find here ? I believed you thought. 

So you had to explore, nothing more important to do and what did you find? Abuela´s special and fragile dishes, they belonged to her mom Bitita, who you were not able to meet. Abuela and I were in the table finishing a coffee and Bum! An alarming sound and we ran to the kitchen only to find a couple of dishes spinning in the floor. (You really like to spin things) No! We said… but you kept going there. We were worried and a but frustrated because ot seemed you don´t understand the word No.Thank goodness nothing broke and you were not happy at all taking you out of there. I am sorry you were upset but you need to learn you won´ always get what you want and most of the grown ups love you and want to keep you safe…it seemed to be a long day and it was only 10:30 am. 

You might remember, or maybe not, how we tried to teach you that in life in this world there are boundaries that we need to respect. Remember abuelo´s (grandpa) words: your freedom ends when someone elses´s freedom begins. However, now that you are older I want to encourage you to live your life fearlessly and bravely,do your very best to succeed despite your challenges…find the way to achieve your dreams and goals. Now that I am writing, you approach me and hug my legs, I have discovered that means you need something, I remember thinking ‘What does he want to tell me?¨’ and abuela had the idea to take you outside in her yard where there is a big trampoline. You seem happy and are babbling some sounds. How I long to understand what you are telling me! I am sitting in an outdoor living room watching you play and trying to jump even just a bit with your bum. I am just here observing you playing with a ball and talking to the air…. Or are you talking to me even if I am not so close… I wonder…

Do you know what is one of your strengths? Your smile. Your smile makes all sadness disappear and all darkness find a new glow, a shining light. Your smile and laugh teach me, and your dad - and everyone who meets you-that you don't need to have much to be happy and that you can find joy in the small little things such as playing with your favorite toy and transforming a pot into a drum. If I write all your little examples of joy there were not enough notebooks in the world! I don´t know if you remember our walk earlier today, you were riding in a car and I was pushing it while I sang. As you know I love to sing, especially to you. When we came back from our walk down the street you were not happy at all. You might know by now that if we change activity or focus you might do something new and fun! By the way… now that you are 40 have you fallen in love? If you have I can only advice share your heart, take a chance and if nothing works at least you were brave and tried. 

It is close to 12 pm. Now is time to go to the pool but Instead you are in the trampoline playing with a ball and from here I can hear your voice babbling something, making different sounds…On! How I wish I could understand you! What are you saying little one? I pray now that you read this letter, or before, we can have a conversation and tell me all your life adventures that I am sure there is so much to tell. Maybe you can teach me how to smile even in difficult times. I could finally know what is in your beautiful heart. Now that you are 4 I won´t stop you from attempting to talk or use your communication device even if I don´t understand your babbling or what you are trying to say. And I say to you…keep trying. The world needs to hear - or read ´-your words and your thoughts. 

I might not always be with you in this life but I will be accompanying you in the next life. You will not ever be alone. So in this life or the next I promise you to be with you in every step you take and listen every word you say. You are and always will be in our prayers. 

I also want to take this opportunity to say I am sorry. I am sorry for the times I have gotten frustrated with you or when I don't pay attention to you because I am busy with something else. I promise to try harder. I thank you for your patience.  You are my most precious gift and I will always love you.

I keep looking at you from the distance while I write this letter in this notebook that I hope give it to you one day or perhaps you will find it. I am amazed how you play and say so many things I cannot understand much but I wish the wind carries your song and message of love and joy. I long for your voice cheers someone up or help him to find the answers he is looking for. 

One day you will talk, one day we will know what you want to say, one day you will share your stories with us….One day…

In the meantime…I will just wait and see how wonderful you will become. By the way, tomorrow March 21st is World Down Syndrome day. Let's celebrate how special you are!

I love you always,

Mama”

My mom always told me I was different because I am special and now I want to tell her how special she is to me. I wonder if she can hear me, she seems to be asleep but not sure wen she will wake up. I ask the stars and angels to tell her in her dreams “I love you mama and I am proud to be your son, I am ok and I love you too, thank you for believing in me”

Time to stop my log but my heart will keep dreaming, remembering … how safe I was in her arms and still am in your dreams.

The end