Family Secrets

Lily sat in a tucked away corner of the library pondering everything the had learned. Her father had told her to stop digging, but what did he expect? He was the one who gave her an old family name and his side of the family was so secretive. Lily was her middle name because her mother had insisted on her having a viable option if she didn’t want to go use her first name, Gertrude. It was strange; family pride had caused her father to insist on the name, but he scarcely spoke of his family’s history. If the family history was so important, why not tell her about it? She had asked that question many times when she was younger but her father always shut her down. Eventually she stopped asking and started listening. Any time someone on her father’s side of the family made an offhand comment or referenced a name that she hadn’t heard, she documented it. If her father wasn’t so secretive about it, she probably wouldn’t be so intrigued. Lily loved her father, but he could be so infuriating. She shuddered, remembering the fight they had gotten in when she told her parents she was going to be using her middle name rather than her first name. It was the night before registration for the high school in their new town. They had moved to Texas to be closer to her grandmother because her grandfather had passed away. Lily decided that a new school in a new state was the perfect place to change her name. She had lived with the teasing for all of middle school and the last two years of elementary school. Nicknames like Tooty Trudy, Trudy Booty, Rudy Trudy got old very quickly. So that night at dinner, when she was asked how she felt about starting a new school, she calmly said “I’ve decided to start using my middle name rather than my first name since nobody knows me here. It’ll be nice to have a fresh start.” “Why would you need that?” asked her father sternly. “Because I think my classmates will find fewer clever things that rhyme withe Lily and I’m registering for high school, not a nursing home,” she responded firmly. “So, to avoid a bit of teasing is worth shitting on your family’s history?!” he demanded. “What history! she shouted back, “you never tell me anything about our family’s history! How can I defend a history I haven’t heard?” “Enough!” he shouted “go to-“my room!” she interjected “I know!” “Little girl, I don’t think I like the girl you’re becoming!” he hissed. Lily took a deep breath and said calmly “I’m sorry to hear that.” as she walked away.

Lily blinked back tears at the memory.  Ten years later and her father was no more forthcoming about his family’s history, nor had his twenty-four year old daughter stopped looking.  Her younger sisters, Sarah and Mary had never cared to push for answers.  They always had other things on their minds.  As twins, the two seemed to share a secret language.  Her older brother, Nathaniel, found it odd, but he lost interest around puberty.  

Lily returned to the old yearbooks in front of her. Had her namesake been someone she’d be proud to share a name with, or genes? 1924. Her great great great uncles had been in their senior year. There was something off about them, the looks in their eyes gave Lily the creeps. They were in a few pictures together, looking secretive. Their mother, Gertrude, worked as the school’s secretary.  Henry and Oliver were the youngest of her seven children.  Clara, her eldest, was a self proclaimed spinster living in the city with another girl who had also decided she would never wed.  Matthew, her first boy, had married a lovely girl from a good family.  They had given Prudence her first, second, and fifth grandchildren. Following Matthew was Arabella.  An effortlessly beautiful girl, she had easily found a good husband to support her.  Arabella was responsible for grandchild three and four, a boy followed a year later by a girl.  Prudence was a year after Arabella.  She married a slightly older man who took care of her.  Prudence was too scared to have a second baby.  The first baby that she carried to term was thriving after a rough start, but the pregnancy an delivery had nearly claimed the lives of mother and son.  Her second son, Arnold, had left home at 18.  He didn’t keep in touch.  

After putting the yearbooks back, Lily started looking at the Library’s archive of articles. After graduation, a girl from their class had gone missing. There were a few articles about the investigation and search. Her body was found a year later, but by then four other women were missing. The first worked with Henry at the grocery store. The next two were sisters that lived next door to their childhood home. The fourth was a nurse at a local clinic. Over the next few years, fewer women went missing, and the bodies started stacking up. The police were at a loss trying to find connections, motives, suspects, evidence, anything. After four years, Clara came home for a visit and got suspicious; it seemed that each victim was somehow connected to at least one of her two youngest brothers. Her mother wouldn’t hear a word Clara had to say on the subject. After a week of fighting, Clara went to the police. Oliver and Henry spent the rest of their lives in separate prisons and Gertrude never spoke to Clara again. She kept reading for a few more hours, learning everything she could.

Lily took a shaky breath and gathered her things. It was time to go to her parents’ house for dinner.

“You seem distracted Gertrude,” said her father halfway through dinner. “Don’t call me that,” muttered Lily. “It’s your name,” he retorted. Lily set down her fork and looked her father squarely in the eye before speaking. “I wish it wasn’t,” she responded, “I wish I wasn’t named after her.” “How can you disrespect your family like that?” he shouted. “I did my research dad,” she said angrily, I know that her two youngest sons were serial killers. I know she lied and protected them and even tried to help them escape.” “She was their mother, and she was loyal to her family, what was she supposed to do?” he asked, unsurprised. “She was Clara’s mother too!” she yelled, “but when Clara did the right thing, Gertrude disowned her.” “Clara wasn’t loyal to her family,” he said simply. “She did what Gertrude should have done, so I’m changing my legal name to Lily Clara,” she said resolutely, “I can’t change my family’s history, but I can choose whom I choose to honor.”