Fifty Reasons Not to Talk

Fifty Reasons Not to Talk

Marvin Larson

Grade 7

November 19th

1. I will not talk when Miss McCloskey is talking like I did today

and that’s why I have to stay after school and make up 50

Reasons you’re not supposed to talk.

2. I will not talk when Miss McCloskey is teaching us something

because I am only eleven and I have a lot to learn here at Our

Lady of Eternal Goodness.

3. I will not talk when announcements are made because there

could be something important for kids to hear like maybe a fire

drill or even more terrible.

4. I will not talk to George Feeney or Angel Martinez anymore

about knives or guns.

5. I will not say anything about Julio Alonzo, not about his lisp or

the way he talks.

6. I will not talk when we have Assembly because it is not

respectful and when somebody else is talking you have to be

quiet. Because we all know it’s very important to Miss

McCloskey for her students to be quiet. You have to do things

quiet. You can feel things yes but you have to feel them quiet.

7. I will not talk during Bible Reading because that is a time for

God to talk and when God is talking then everybody should

listen and think about what His words mean. And do like the

Bible says to do. So you can grow up to be Good. Good in

school and good in life. Good and quiet.

8. I will not talk when Miss McCloskey is talking to me like I did

this morning. And when you answer a teacher back they can

make you stay after school and make up 50 Reasons Not to

Talk. And you Miss McCloskey are an expert on how a

person should not be and what they should not do.

9. I will not talk to Hollis or Angel about our baseball mitts in

class and argue which guy has a better mitt, because what fits

right on one guy might not be right for another guy.

Everybody’s different.

10. I will not talk because I am only eleven. My birthday was two

weeks ago on November 5th. And I have a lot to learn if I

hope to get into eighth grade.

11. I will not talk during Geography class like when you showed us

pictures of Asia and Greenland and Iceland.

12. I will not talk about Marilyn Campbell’s sister who got killed

last summer by a drive-by shooter. But Marilyn has a bad

smell Miss McCloskey and I would like my seat changed.

13. I will not talk to my neighbor in class. And neighbors have to

be quiet too.

14. I will not talk with my mouth full or put banana peels in my

desk like I did last week and you wrote about it in my folder

and I felt bad.

15. I will not talk about how the principal Mr. Howard SPITS

when he talks. I’ve known this since I was in third grade.

I know this as a fact because I’ve been at this school for four

years. Way before you showed up.

16. I will not talk about the time Suzanne Smith wet her pants

during the Geography Test because it’s a thing any person

might do when they get upset.

17. I will not talk during test time like when we had the Fractions

Test. I guess you think this after school punishment will fix

me. Well maybe it will but maybe it won’t.

18. I will not talk but this is only Number 18 out of 50. It’s hard to

think of more reasons and I still have a lot to go. It’s lonely in

this classroom with you up at your desk marking the Fractions

Test and me sitting in my seat all alone writing this stuff. All

the guys are outside playing soccer. I can hear them yelling

across the field. Hey, I’m not a teacher and I don’t like writing

words the way you do. You love words like you love those

little Hershey Kisses wrapped in silver foil you give to all your

favorites who can spell good and make up sentences using our

Weekly Words.

19. I will not talk to Ronald Henderson about his operation

because how would you like it if you broke your arm running

to Home Plate for your team. And then have the kids make

fun of it because the hospital fixed it wrong and now it

doesn’t hang right. I respect a guy that runs fast for his team.

20. I won’t talk any more. But after this Number 20, I’m going to

the Boys Room.

21. I will not talk about how there’s never any soap in the Boys

Room, only that white powdered stuff that don’t even get your

hands clean.

22. I will not talk during Assembly. Now Miss McCloskey you

think you see and hear everything, but the whole school

knows Miss Kapiston’s class talks during Assembly and they

never have to stay after school and write reasons not to talk.

Like last Friday, Hollis and Billy and me saw Mitchell Mozer

put a dead cockroach on a kid’s shoulder. Even Albertina

Watson was laughing and you know she laughs real loud.

I looked over to see if you saw it but you were blowing your

nose and never saw it. But you always notice me doing bad

things how come ? Even if I do the littlest thing your eyes

catch it like a hawk.

23. I will not talk about how you have your favorites in this class,

and one of them is Darlena Bianco who never does anything

wrong in her whole life probably. And the other perfect

person is Norman Howard who is the principal’s son and

we all know you’re nice to him because his father runs the

school. Well in case you haven’t noticed, Mr. Howard SPITS

when he talks. Me and Angel found this out when we were

first sent to his office in the fourth grade. It was three years

ago on the day Luann Scott vomited on Richard Grogan in

Miss Baker’s class. And we had macaroni and cheese for lunch

so you can just imagine what a mess on the floor. Me and

Angel were laughing so we got sent down to Mr. Howard’s

office. Everybody knows, you better not stand too close to

him when he talks because he SPITS.

24. I will not talk to foreign agents.

25. I will not talk to strangers in our mists.

26. I will not talk about a person’s smell but Marilyn Campbell

needs a bath. I sit close to her and I want my seat changed.

She needs a good hot bath because she stinks. I’m sorry Miss

McCloskey but there are times a person has to take a bath or

they’re going to lose friends. I know her sister got killed last

summer by that drive-by shooter but please can you say

something to her. Some things are hard to write about,

like how a person smells.

27. I will not talk tomorrow November 20th, not during Roll Call

or during Bible Reading. But Darlena Bianco your favorite

Bible reader keeps reading the same psalm YAY THOUGH

I WALK THROUGH THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF

DEATH and it spooks me. I done wrong by talking today,

but some nights I dream about the Valley of the Shadow and

I wake up frightened. Do we have to hear it every time

Darlena reads the Bible? I like the psalm that Reverend Reed

reads at the black church, the one that goes A TIME TO BE

BORN AND A TIME TO DIE AND A TIME TO PLANT AND A

TIME TO PLAY SOCCER, etc. How come every time in your

class is a time to be quiet? I guess on the eighth day the Lord

turned to Adam and Eve and all the animals and He yelled out

WILL EVERYBODY PLEASE JUST BE QUIET ! ! !

28. I will not talk about Reverend Reed’s son Henry who even

though he is black has a part of his face pink. Because like

we discuss in class, God has a reason for everything He does.

And just so you know, it wasn’t me who said something

stupid about Henry’s face that day you were out and the

substitute was here. It was Mitchell Mozer who said it, not

me. I happen to like Henry Reed. Henry and I were born on

the same day of the same year. Maybe that’s why we’re pals.

You know what Henry's old man Reverend Reed told him?

His dad told Henry that when kids ask him

WHY’S YOUR FACE LIKE THAT ? Reverend Reed told

Henry to answer them, I GUESS THE LORD THINKS I’M

SPECIAL. Well, I think Henry is kind of special. So can I sit

next to him instead of next to Marilyn?

29. I will not talk about bathroom things. You scold me and

Hollis about this all the time. And Angel and Billy and

Mitchell too. But there’s never any toilet paper in the

Boys Room because this guy named Oliver from the Lower

School steals it to take home. He’s real poor. If you’re a

teacher, you get pink soap and a clean bathroom, but if you’re

only eleven like me you get that hard toilet paper that’s

hardly never there anyway and that powdered soap that spills

all over and it don’t get your hands clean neither.

30. I will not talk in class about stuff somebody in class shouldn’t

talk about. But you know, Miss McCloskey, I got ideas in my

mind that nobody can stop me thinking. These ideas nobody

can see. Not you, not Mr. Howard, not my parents, not even

my pals. Some things I know I can keep secret all the time, all

my life, even if I walk in the Valley of the Shadow of Death.

Because if you know something is true, nobody can make it

not true. Even when you’re supposed to be quiet, there are

still times when you know the truth and you just have to tell

it.

31. Charles Wright is another reason I want my seat changed.

He has strange eyes and he worships Satan. You won’t believe

me but I know it was Charles who put up the Nazi Swasticker

on the wall. Angel knows it and Mitchell knows it. And Hollis

knows it too. You don’t always have to see a thing to know it’s

true.

32. I will not talk on Monday or on Tuesday or on Wednesday or

on Thursday or on Friday. I will only talk on weekends and

holidays when I am not in your class.

33. I will not talk the rest of November or in December or in

January or in February or in March or April or May or June.

34. I will not talk the rest of Soccer Season. We have the top

soccer team in all the Catholic parishes but I can’t go to

practice today because I talked during Bible Reading when

Darlena Bianco your favorite student was reciting the 23rd

Psalm.

35. I will not talk until I am spoken to. Someday if I have to go to

War, I will design a special torture for the enemy. I will make

them have to read and write in total silence. Not be able to

move. Not be able to whisper. Not be able to even go to

the bathroom even. Not until they can correctly spell all or

our Weekly War Words. Nobody’s allowed to move, and all

their feelings and all their ideas have to stay in their mind

because they may not talk, and they better not even sneeze.

NO TALKING, GUYS. HEY, YOU ! I SAID NO TALKING ! !

Now the only way they can fix their pain is by writing (in

silence, of course.) And all of our Weekly War Words have to

be spelled perfect. No exceptions. And if they go crazy from

the torture of the quiet, I can just tell my sergeant OH SIR,

I DIDN’T NEED TO USE ANY WEAPONS, SIR. NO, SIR.

YOU SEE, SIR, I MADE THE ENEMY STAY REAL STILL AND

BE REAL QUIET. NO MOVING AROUND. NO MOVING YOUR

LIPS AND NO SCRATCHING YOUR ITCH AND ABSOLUTELY

NO TALKING TO YOUR NEIGHBOR. AND YOU KNOW

WHAT ? THEY JUST WENT CRAZY, ONE BY ONE. YOU

HEAR HOW QUIET IT IS NOW? THOSE ENEMY GUYS WILL

NEVER TALK AGAIN. NEVER. OH, SIR, WHAT IS THIS METAL

OF HONOR YOU’RE PINNING ON ME ? OH WOW, SIR ! !

THE McCLOSKEY AWARD FOR THE BEST TORTURE ! ! !

OH, WHAT AN HONOR, SIR ! ! !

36. Students have to be quiet so teacher can talk more.

Everybody in our class knows that’s the real reason.

37. Number Thirty-Seven hereby refuses to cooperate and tell

the 37th reason a person should not talk. Number 37 chooses

to remain silent.

38. Now Look Here. Number Thirty-Eight is going to punish

Number Thirty-Seven for being bad and behaving improper.

Number Thirty-Seven, do you hear me? Are you listening to

me ? Do you answer when I speak to you, or shall I report

your behavior to the principal? Your choice, you decide.

I have all the time in the world. Okay then, since you won’t

cooperate, and insist on being bad, you can just march

yourself down to Mr. Howard’s office where you will get

scolded and spit on. And when you’re ready to fix up your bad

ways, you may return to your seat and sit like a zombie who

never speaks unless he’s spoken to. Do we understand?

Answer me, Young Man! Look at me when I’m talking to you !

DO WE UNDERSTAND ?? DO WE ??

39. I will not talk when I’m not supposed to. I will just sit here in

my seat between Charles Wright the little Nazi and Marilyn

Campbell who needs a bath. Just sit here until the end of

seventh grade feeling rotten like I felt at Juliet Campbell’s

funeral last summer when the minister looked up at God and

asked OH WHY DO THESE THINGS HAPPEN ?

40. I will not talk in Miss McCloskey’s class tomorrow because she

owns all the space in the class and all the time in the class and

that’s just the way it is.

41 . I will not talk because talk not will I.

42. I will not talk even though the November sky is growing dark

because you think that writing out all these reasons is going to

help me change from being a bad kid who talks into being a

good kid who doesn’t. When you play soccer, the goal is to

kick the ball to the other side of the field, and then you make

your team happy. But when you’re inside of school, the goal is

to keep the noisy talk inside you, and then you make your

teacher happy. Oh, I can do it. I am strong enough. If my pal

Henry Reed can go through Life with a face half pink and half

black then I can be brave too.

43. I will not talk to any kids tomorrow, November 20th.

Especially if they are GOOD kids like Darlena Bianco, Marilyn

Campbell, Antoinette Vega, Yvonne Maddox and of course

Norman Howard the principal’s son. I bet Miss McCloskey

you have a list up at your desk of whether a person is good

(good meaning they hardly ever talk ) or bad ( because they

always talk ), the bad kids beginning with me, Marvin Larson,

and George, and Wally, and Mitchell. And certainly Angel

Martinez who you can’t stand. Oh yes, especially Angel

Martinez whose mother screamed at you in Spanish in front

of Mr. Howard.

44. I will not talk about who stole your stapler even though

I know who stole it.

45. I will not talk about who cut the plug off the projector even

though I know who did.

46. I will not ever talk. I will just hold the talk inside me just like

I'm holding the _______ inside my body until I can get

home to a bathroom that has toilet paper.

47. IWILLNOTTALKIWILLJUSTSITSTILLNOTMOVEBESILENT.

48. I will not talk about something I know that you Miss

McCloskey wouldn’t want me to know, me being only a dumb

kid and you being the Boss. I will not talk about what I heard

Miss Kapiston tell the principal, a secret you don’t want your

students to know that shows how maybe you’re not so

perfect.

49. I will not talk about our perfect Miss McCloskey. But if you

show these fifty reasons to anyone, even one person, even

Mr. Howard or even my parents, I swear I will tell everyone in

the whole diocese how you’ve been seen every day STEALING

THE PINK PACKAGES OF SWEET AND LOW from the

Teachers’ Lunchroom and slipping them into your purse. Yes,

YOU, Miss Margaret McCloskey, 7th grade teacher at Our

Lady of Eternal Goodness.

50. I will not talk as I write the last of my 50 reasons. No, I will

not talk when I put these papers on your desk and walk

out of your classroom. I will not smile and I will not make a

face. I'll just hand in my punishment and get out and go

home. I’m going to walk out to the soccer field, and then I’m

going to start to run, and then I’m going to start to scream.

Because the November sky has been waiting this whole

afternoon for my scream. My scream will be as big as

the sky, so big and so loud it'll be heard all the way down in

the Valley of the Shadow of Death. And you’re going to hear

it too, Miss McCloskey. Oh boy, are you going to hear my

scream !

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