I knew going to the apple orchard would get me in trouble, but I had to see it one more time. Alan wouldn’t let me go back once he married mom and I had to be there one more time, before I couldn’t anymore.

I shivered slightly as the cool October wind blew through my flannel, fall was here, and apples were in season. The Pennsylvania apple orchard was my favorite place, ever. The rows upon rows of beautiful trees, the colors falling from the branches, the soothing sound of the small creek that ran alongside the honey crisps.

It was perfect here and I was about to lose it.

When dad died, it felt like the world would crumble away from me, dropping me into an endless void of pain and sorrow. Somehow, I held on, but losing him is what made me hate my mom. She acted like he never existed, jumping from boyfriend to boyfriend. Eventually landing on Alan, and now they’re engaged. Wonderful, simply wonderful.

He proposed to her today, but I won't go to the celebration, I’ll sit under my apple tree and write. Writing is all I have at this point. If I lost that too, I don’t know what I’d do.

Before I did, I decided to go apple picking, since it would most likely be the last time I could do so. I went straight for the honey crisps, they were my favorite. Grabbing a canvas bag from the picking stand, I walked slowly through the aisles. Looking for the best apples, the ones that would crunch under my teeth and explode with the sweet flavor of autumn.

Reach up, grab, pull. Repeat.

As I picked, a thousand memories flooded through my head, my dad carrying me up the stairs, tucking me in, covering my ears when mom was yelling at my brother, holding me close when the thunder drove me into his arms. Riding on his shoulders at this very orchard, picking apples and laughing when he bounced me up and down. Riding in the car with him every Saturday to go to the orchard. Him taking me here on my 15th birthday, driving up the hill, seeing the truck swerve towards us, remembering the sounds of my screams.

I shook my head and stepped away from the trees, stop. I told myself, I couldn’t do this to myself, not again. I willed the tears not to fall, because once they did, they wouldn’t stop.

I made my way to my tree, clutching my leather-bound notebook tightly, like I could hold on to my life if I could hold on to the words on the pages. I sighed happily when I saw it, the only oak tree in the middle of the orchard. Tall, branching out, the most vibrant colors of all of them. My tree. I plopped down underneath it and leaned against the wood, opening my notebook and pulling out my pen, I immersed myself in the world that I created.

When I put pen to paper, anything was possible, I could live another life, a better life. The cool breeze blew my hair across my face but I payed no mind to it, just focus on the words. I finally unclicked my pen and leaned my head back, sighing and letting the sadness overwhelm me. As I cried, I heard a twig snap and I looked up, quickly wiping at my face when I saw someone drawing near. He looked about my age, wavy brown hair, and these bright blue eyes.

I thought he would just walk right by me but, to my surprise, he came directly to me. He squatted down in front of me and smiled, a soft smile, confident but, sensitive,

“Hi, you look lonely, I’m Ashton.“

I tried to smile back, though it was hard to do when my eyes were probably bright red and puffy,

“Harley.“

He sat down next to me,

“How are you, Harley?“

I sighed,

“I mean, I’ve been better.“

“Do you want to talk about it?“

I looked at him questioningly,

“You don’t even know me, why are you being so nice?“

He shrugged,

“I had a feeling you needed someone to talk to.“

I laughed,

“Surprisingly, you’re right.“

He shifted slightly so he was facing me,

“I’m kind of new in town, will I see you here often?“

A spike of pain hit my heart but I pushed it down,

“Normally I would say yes, but after today, I can't come here anymore.“

He scrunched his eyebrows,

“Can I ask why?“

I looked at him,

“Not allowed.“

He made a gesture that suggested I should explain it more. I sighed, I didn’t have anything to lose, telling him wouldn’t hurt anyone,

“My dad is buried here, in the cemetery across the street, he died while driving to this orchard, and it makes me upset whenever I’m here, but I keep coming because well.“

I sighed and looked around,

“This is my happy place. Its where I feel closest to him, if that makes any sense, anyways, my mom and her new fiancé are going to ban me from coming here because of it.“

He nodded,

“I get it, and I’m sorry that that happened to you. My mom died a couple years ago so I get trying to feel close to them, I have one of her old scarves and whenever I miss her, I just hold it close to me.“

I smiled,

“That’s really sweet, I have to go but, can I get your number?“

He pulled out his phone,

“Of course, I need friends in this town.“

As we exchanged numbers, I got a feeling in my heart, I don’t know how to explain it, but I knew, I knew that Ashton and I had something special, a connection. Now, I don’t believe in love at first site, but this, this was something amazing, something I have never felt before.

We parted ways and I started home, it no longer mattered to me that I would get in trouble for going, meeting him, was worth it. While I was driving home, my phone started ringing, I pulled over and answered quickly,

“Hello?“

I smiled when I heard Ashton’s soft voice,

“Hey, its Ashton.“

It didn't even bother me when I returned home to a bunch of yelling and -I'm-so disappointed-in-you(s). Ash had told me to call him back when I could, and that was all that I chose to focus on. I sauntered right past her and didn't even give a glance to Alan, he was not my father, and I would not let him think he had the right to act like it. Walking into my room, I plopped on my bed and pulled out my phone, clicking on Ashton's newly made contact.

"Hello?"

For some reason, it calmed me, hearing his voice,

"Hey, sorry I just got home."

He chuckled,

"You're good, I didn't think you'd call back."

"Well I told you I would, didn't I?"

"Good point."

I smiled and sat up against my wall,

"So, since I won't be seeing you at the orchard anymore, maybe we could hangout sometime?"

"Sure I'd be down, I totally forgot to ask you this but, how old are you?"

"Seventeen, you?"

"Eighteen, are you free this weekend? Maybe we could take a walk or something, you could show me the town more."

I thought for a second and looked at my calendar,

"I'm free on Saturday around two-ish if you want to meet up then."

I could hear the smile in his voice,

"Sounds good to me, do you want me to come to your house?"

I shut that down real fast,

"No no no, don't come here, I'll meet you at your house if you want to text me your address."

"Okaay then, my house it is."

I looked at my desk and sighed,

"I'm sorry but I have a mountain of homework to do before school tomorrow, I'll call you back when I can if you want to talk, if not I'll see you Saturday."

"I'm good if you want to call back, but you go be smart, I'll see you Saturday Harley."

"Okay, talk to you later."

I hung up and sighed, I hoped that I wasn't doing something I would regret. I didn't really know Ashton, but I really wanted to.

We hung out a lot after that first phone call, it kind of flew by, days knowing him, turned into weeks, turned into months, turned into a year. By now, I knew that I liked him, but I couldn't risk losing him as my best friend. I was waiting outside my house, looking at my phone, he was picking me up and we were going to the apple orchard with a couple friends. Finally, I saw his blue truck pull into the driveway and I slipped in quickly,

"You're late."

He laughed,

"It's great to see you too Harley-Quinn."

I slapped his arm, though I was laughing too,

"Quit calling me that you brat."

He smiled and pulled out, I turned on the radio and blasted the music as we drove to the orchard, he rolled the windows down and I smiled. My black hair blowing in the wind, I stared at him, noticing the sparkle in his eyes, the happiness in his smile. We reached our destination and I looked away before he noticed. We got out and quickly realized that Amara and Jackson weren't here yet, so we decided to walk through the aisles of trees. As we were walking, his hand kept brushing mine and my heart raced, was it an accident? Or was he trying to tell me something? We reached my tree and suddenly, he stopped and turned towards me,

"Harley, I need to tell you something, and it might make things really weird but I have to tell you."

I raised my eyebrow,

"Ok?"

He sighed,

"I really like you, like, more than just a friend, I have liked you for a long time, and it doesn't feel right to not tell you."

My mouth dropped open,

"Are you messing with me?"

He shook his head and my eyes went wide,

"No way, Ash, I feel the same way."

He stared at me, silently asking me if it was true, I nodded and he threw his arms around me,

"I can't believe it."

I shook my head and pulled away from him,

"No I, I can't, you deserve better, not me, trust me, this isn't something you want ."

I went to step back but he stopped me,

"No, Harley this is something I want, I want you."

I started to cry, I had always felt that he deserved someone better, every since my dad died, my mom had always drilled into my skull that I didn't deserve love and that it did nothing but hurt. I took a step back,

"Ash, I'm not-"

He cut me off by stepping forward and kissing me. Like he was reassuring me that he was here and he wasn't leaving. He pulled back and looked at me,

"Harley, you are the most amazing person ever, I know that you're scared, but I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere, so please, can you just be mine already?"

I laughed and wiped away my tears,

"Of course I will."

We turned and saw the headlights of my friends car, smiling at each other, he grabbed my hand and we walked off, intertwining our fingers. Who knew that the person I had randomly met in this apple orchard, would grow to be the most important person in my life.

SEVEN YEARS LATER

“Mama!“

I turned and smiled as my little daughter ran towards me and jumped into my arms,

“Hi Lynn, where’s daddy?“

She giggled,

“He’s waiting for you under the tree!!“

I laughed and spun her around,

“Did you pick out a pumpkin sweetie?“

She nodded,

“I got the biggest one!“

I grinned, she was only four years old, and already so full of life. I kissed her cheek and set her down,

“Go find your brother, I’m going to get your dad.“

She hopped up and down and ran off, screaming,

“Aaronnnnn where are youuuu?“

I laughed, watching her run away, her brown curls bouncing as she ran through the trees. Walking to the tree, I grinned at my husband who was waiting for me, he was holding an apple. He set it down before pulling me in for a hug,

“I’ve been waiting.“

I kissed his cheek,

“I should’ve known you’d be here.“

He picked me up and twirled me around, I shrieked in shock,

“Ashton Tovar put me down!“

He laughed but complied, setting me down and kissing my forehead softly,

“I can’t believe it’s really been seven years.“

I smiled,

“Happiest seven years of my life.“

He bent down and kissed my stomach, where our third child was waiting, he looked up at me, nothing but love in his eyes,

“They are lucky they have such an amazing mother.“

I smiled at him,

“I love you Ash.“

He stood up and cupped my face with his hand,

“I’ve loved you since that day so long ago my darling.“

Suddenly we heard Aaron yelling at Lynn and we both laughed simultaneously,

“You should probably go make sure they aren’t killing each other.“

He nodded and chuckled,

“I’ll keep them busy, take your time, I’ll be here when you get back.“

He took off and I sighed and headed across the street, picking wild sunflowers as I walked. I passed by multiple graves and stopped in front of one, laying the flowers in front of it. I stood and smiled as tears ran down my cheeks,

“Happy birthday Dad.“