Turkish Delight

“This menu looks interesting. I can’t understand most of it, so let us order the works and see how things pan out.”

Jack handed the menu to Judy, who, after perusing the bill of fare, nodded in agreement.

Jack and Judy were nearing the end of a Mediterranean cruise aboard the Sea Princess and enjoying a twenty-four-hour stoppage at the Cypriot port of Limassol.

The young couple and most other passengers had opted for an off-ship excursion into the port’s city.

As a result, Jack and Judy wandered the city’s streets until they came upon an eating house with Niazi’s Turkish Restaurant embellished across its façade.

*

“What do you think, Jack? Should we try this place?” Judy craned her neck, trying to see what lay behind a screen standing inside the restaurant’s door.

“Yes. Since the rich cuisine of the cruise ship is getting to me, that sounds a good idea. On the other hand, I’m aware I should say no, but I weaken when the waiters heap those dishes of fattening foodstuff in front of me.”

“Ha-ha. I’m not game to weigh myself, and I’m blaming the water in the ship’s laundry for shrinking my clothes. Therefore, I wish I had the willpower to refuse those chocolate desserts they wheel out each sitting.” Judy, by this time, had decided that Niazi’s restaurant looked the real deal.

*

Overall, the interior of the restaurant turned out as Jack expected. A fez-wearing gentleman greeted them on their entry. ‘Is this bloke ridgy-didge?’ wondered Jack, ‘or is he dressing up to impress gullible tourists?’

Pictures of famous Turkish identities of history adorned the walls, and decorations and soft backdrop music made for a pleasant setting.

The fez-wearing gentleman turned out to be Niazi himself. He led Jack and Judy to a table alongside a small dance floor. Coupled with handing them a menu, Niazi advised they should peruse the drinks section because they cooked the foods served on the premises. He suggested they might enjoy a complimentary house wine while awaiting their fare.

After completing the introductions, Jack thanked Niazi and informed him they intended to order from the bill of fare blind. Most of the food list was in English but included Turkish words and phrases. A young girl carrying a bottle of wine attended their table to take their orders.

*

The wine, called kokinelli, was in an unlabelled bottle with a loose fitted cork. Jack poured and allowed Judy the first taste.

“Jeez, that stuff is rough.” Judy wiped her mouth with a napkin and pushed her glass away.

Jack, smiling good-naturedly, filled his glass and, rising it in a toast to his partner, used the word ‘skall’ in memory of a now deceased Swedish friend. Furthermore, when sampling the liquor, Jack made the mistake of taking a mouthful instead of a sip.

“By crikey, Judy, you’re right. It is rough.” Jack picked residue from his mouth and identified pieces of grape skin, pips, and stalks. “Since Niazi said they prepare the food in-house, they must do the same with this wine! On the other hand, I’ve heard others refer to red wines as rough reds and rotten reds. I reckon we’ve scored a mix of them both tonight.”

*

For starters, they chose yoghurt and bread. Unlike the smooth processed supermarket products, the yoghurt was creamy with a subtle tangy flavour. The bread was coarse and crusty.

“Indeed, I kid you not, this is the best yoghurt I’ve ever experienced,” said Judy, as she used a crust to wipe her plate. “This bread is so yummy.”

Next, they ordered kalama as an entrée meal.

“In any event, I know what this one is.” Jack nodded as he studied the menu. “I’d say kalama is the Turkish word for squid. We use Calamari at home, but that is of Italian origin.”

Following the squid entrée, Jack ordered a meat mese for the main course. “I don’t believe we can go wrong with this order. Meat is meat where ever one may be.”

*

The mese arrived in small portions. The first to come to the scene were separate dishes for Jack and Judy, each with three small sausages. Jack continued sipping the kokinelli while Judy reverted to water.

Next came a similar serving of three meatballs. Three baby chops on the third plate with a quarter of a young chicken coming in at number four. Fresh garden salad, olives, cherries, and oranges featured on their dinner table.

“To conclude, should we try a dessert?” Judy contemplated as she browsed the menu. “It has locum with Turkish Delight in brackets. In essence, I savvy what that is; it’s a jube, and one can buy it coated in chocolate at home.”

“Okay, go for it.” Jack was busy negotiating with a young girl who’d approached the table offering roses for sale. As a result, Jack selected a red bloom and offered a two-euro coin in exchange. He laughed at the quickness of hand of the girl in accepting the token.

*

Jack presented the flower to Judy and asked, “Have you decided on the dessert? I suggested we attend a traditional Turkish restaurant to curtail our eating habits. Overall, we haven’t done that, but I can’t remember the last time I enjoyed a meal as good as what we’ve had tonight.”

“Yes, I’ve opted to conclude with a Turkish Delight sweet and a coffee.”

“By every means, I will join you in that. I’m determined to finish the wine, but it’s a battle. When I return to the boat, I want to brag that I drank a bottle of kokinelli.”

The waiter arrived with two servings of the locum. Expecting to find the dessert in jube form, Jack and Judy looked in awe at what was on their plates. The young man serving the treat explained the method used in the villages for the traditional Turkish Delight.

*

A nut, six or seven centimetres, lay on each of their plates, covered in a thick brown syrup. The waiter prompted Jack to use his fingers to help handle the sweetmeat. This he did, and biting into the soft nutshell, the contents burst into his mouth.

On the contrary, the attendant, standing watching Jack, knew not of Jack’s effort in holding his first mouthful without spitting it back onto the plate. The marinated nut and the accompanying syrup were so sweet his stomach was trying to reject it. He felt it bouncing between his gut and the back of his throat.

While not wanting to embarrass the young man with his good intentions, Jack, with effort, managed not to regurgitate what he’d swallowed and tried to show a brave face.

Jack and Judy ordered coffees to complete the evening. Judy sampled the sweetmeat and decided it was too powerful for her taste buds. When unobserved by the restaurant’s staff, Jack wrapped the two locum nuts in a table napkin and disposed of them in the toilet.

*

The coffee came in small cups, and Jack, the first to sample the brew, brought on laughter from Judy when she saw the face he pulled.

“Jeez, why don’t they filter this stuff? The coffee is half coffee and half sludge! The menu says it comes as unsweetened, medium and sweet. I opted for medium, but it’s nigh as sweet as the locum. The Turks must have a sweet tooth.

Niazi walked the restaurant floor before approaching Jack and Judy at their table. “Good evening. Was the meal to your liking?”

Jack, always the chattiest of the pair, clarified points. “Yes, we enjoyed ourselves, no end. A couple of questions if you’ll be so kind. The bread and yoghurt at the start were out of this world. Those baby lamb chops were something unreal. The best I’ve ever come across. Are they from the fat-tailed sheep we see in the fields with their shepherds?”

“They, too, were from goats. In addition, the goat’s milk yoghurt is a popular dish on the island, and we cook the coarse-grained bread in my kitchen, especially to be eaten with the yoghurt.”

“Goat’s milk?! I don’t think I could have eaten it if I’d known that.” Judy screwed her face and shook her head.

“The yoghurt? Goat’s milk? What will you say now when I tell you the sausages, the meatballs, and the chops were of goat meat?”

*

While Judy was taking in what Niazi had told her of the goat’s milk and meat, Jack engaged the restaurant owner in conversation. “The wine, the kokinelli; tell me where that comes from, please, as it sure delivers a kick?”

“Kokinelli is what’s left in the tank's bottom when the winemakers make their Othello line. Since it has pips, stalks and skin fragments and is not worth further processing. We, in the restaurants, buy it in bulk, cheap, and supply it free as a house wine.”

Consequently, he said, “Those glasses you put on the table, the ones with your name embossed, must set you back a quid or two. Do many get stolen by customers?”

“Oh, yes, that happens on most days.”

“Is that true? What do you do to stop that practice?”

“Now, I visit each table in my restaurant just as the customer prepares to leave. I count the glasses on the table, and if any are missing, I add the replacement cost onto their bill.”

Jack realised Niazi, an astute businessman, had visited their table for that very same purpose.

While noting the low cost charged by Niazi for the evening, Jack did something he, on most occasions, dodged; he added a good-sized tip when he settled the bill.

“Niazi,” said Jack as he picked up the menu they’d used that night, “You told me that diners souvenir your glasses when they eat here. To sum up, I’d be keen to keep this menu to remember you and your restaurant.”

Tempted earlier to take the menu without asking, Jack decided discretion was the better part of valour.

*

With the menu in his hand, Jack turned to Judy as they headed back to the Sea Princess and said, “I enjoyed the experience of eating at that restaurant. Equally important, our next stop is at Haifa. We should do the same there.”

“In general, what do Israelis eat? Don’t they classify their foods just as the Muslims do with their halal?”

“Kosher. I’ve heard of that word but don’t know what it means.”

“Me neither, but let’s commit to doing the same in Haifa as we’ve done here in Limassol. Furthermore, we’ll grab another menu. I wish I’d thought of collecting menus of eating houses we’ve visited instead of what I’ve done up to now-----accumulated T-shirts which I am unlikely ever to wear.

*

“Judy, until this evening, I’ve always considered a menu as nothing but a list of foodstuffs and prices. Now, when I see a goat, I will remember the great night we had in Niazi’s Turkish Restaurant. Plus, I’ll drag out tonight’s menu from time to time and become nostalgic and teary-eyed.”

“Haaa, you teary-eyed?” Judy slipped her arm through that of Jack. “That I doubt I’ll ever see. On the other hand, though, I’m getting that way for knowing it’s unlikely I’ll grace Niazi’s restaurant ever again.”

“Come on, let’s wriggle our backsides. We should be back on board in time for supper, and for your info, I finished that bottle of Kokinelli.”