Broken Chains

This is actually a true story of what God did in my life, how good/ loving He is and the hope you can find in Him no matter where you're at.

It came slowly, creeping up behind me and into my thoughts. Into my life as well. There was nothing I could do. I fought and fell, I ran and tripped, I tried to be strong, but It became stronger than me.

At a point in my life I was overwhelmed with trails, deep sorrow, and attacks. I'm not sure when it started anymore, but I do know there are some things I will never forget. What I thought was the end, became a gateway for amazing grace, love, and healing.

These thoughts that crept up on me were evil, invalid, unwanted, sinful... hated. They were filthy languages(curse words) that I shamefully accepted to read or watch in book and movies. Thinking that I could handle them, I didn't realize I was playing with fire and got burned. Thus, because of them, I became sensitive to everything I saw and heard. This is what opened the door for an attack from the enemy(That is, the devil). He hates every single one of God's creation- saved or not. There is no love in him.

The intrusive thoughts came against God, the people around me and myself as well. They were blasphemous, slanderous and rude remarks. I hated them and hated myself more.

Whether you're going through this or not(Or it you're going through something else), Just know with Jesus, there is Redemption and Freedom, because, He died for all of our sins so we could be reconciled to God and have life.

Often, I found myself weeping as my heart broke hearing those thoughts, as I prayed, as I was in school(virtually), as I was sleeping or even as I woke up( very annoying). It physically and mentally drained me. I remember at this point in my life, I loved entertainment which is why I accepted the things I did. I learned while they were distracting, not one of them could truly help me in my dilemma. Putting God first Is important and it has to happen each day. I think I'm still learning to do that.

One of the most important person, (besides Jesus of course) my Mom, noticed a change in my behavior. Lost of appetite and joy, depression, and many among others. She is truly heaven sent. After some convincing(from her), she lend me her ears, and I told her what I felt. But only part of it. I was too embarrassed to say everything(It came out later though). I felt was unloved-I told her- but she reassured me that she loved me. Not just by words, but by actions as well. Despite my mistakes God and my mom still love me.

Love is not just spoken words, but they are also the actions and intentions that backs up the words. Just like the Bible said that Faith has to be accompanied by Good works.( Not that Good works saves us, but it's a product of our faith). I find it hard to love myself and others. I'm now learning that we can be empowered to love by the Holy Spirit.

Jesus showed me his love through his words and actions. During the times of sorrow and sin, He showed me and told me that He would not leave me nor give up on me. Crazy and awesome how the Creator of the universe loves us so much. Yes He loves you very much.

Yet, doubt would always come, fear would overtake me, and anxiety would attack. Yep, the thoughts were still there because while the Lord was fighting for me, the enemy was still after me. In the Bible it says he(the enemy) came to steal, kill and destroy. but Jesus came that we may have abundant life through him.

Sin causes death, and binds us. The wages of sin are death the Bible says, but the free gift of God is enteral life through his Son(Jesus Christ the Lord).

I had not seen it before, but amongst the trails, our Creator became more real in my life at a time of darkness. He was a light in the darkness. I also learn He talks in different ways. His word, other people and more. He's not limited.

Again, I became very anxious that I sometimes shook violently, but this became a thing later on. I was even medically checked upon, but I was not sick, just suffering mentally/physiologically. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can cause the real harm(If you allow them to). I would often hear voices telling not to eat, or to end my life, or convincing me that I'm not saved nor loved.

I found it really cool how my mom prayed for me, and with me. She encouraged me to worship, praise and pray. She also helped me eat better. I felt secure in her arms. A sent hero, indeed.

I really liked going outside, listening to music, walking and sometimes reading. I learned that I like to be alone many times. Although, I also learned that I could talk to Mom about many things. She would always and still does, lead me to Jesus and prayer. She told me not to give the thoughts attention. Along with her, many others helped. God can send anyone your way at the right time.

In the end, I was freed. My chains were broken-In Jesus name. It was a long, hard battle. But since Jesus fought for me and with me, I found victory in Him. There were ups and downs, bitter feelings and thoughts that still repapered, but all along God is- still is, and forever will be- faithful.

So whatever you are going through, call upon the name of Jesus and you shall be saved.(No matter the timing)

I would like you to know I'm no-one special. I am a human and a sinner with problems just like you. I fall and make many mistakes. But God's love is greater. He is always just, righteous and serious about sin, but through his Son, you can come to Him. There is salvation in Jesus and only Him. What ever you've done you can come to Him. Today is the day to come, after all, tomorrow is not Guaranteed.

I hope you're encouraged that Jesus can save you and that you have not gone too far. Turn from sin continuously, and put your trust in Him only. He loves you dearly.

Byee, thanks for reading!! :)