The Neuroscientist and the Rockstar

Trigger warning: Suicide

“And with this new technology, we can obliterate chronic depression and anxiety around the world.  Thank you.” Doctor Martin paused a moment, taking in the applause from the stadium that surrounded him with a smirk.  He then glided off the small stage reuniting with his team of researchers.  

“Always leave them wanting more,” he would tell his team every time he gave a talk on the team's newest technology.  Julian always thought that this sounded more like a remark from a rockstar rather than one of the greatest neuroscientists of all time, but then again, Doctor Martin was more rockstar than scientist. 

Julian had spent his entire career working for Doctor Martin.  They invited Doctor Martin to discuss the technology of Julian’s life work at the International Cutting Edge Neuroscience Technology Conference (or ICENTC for short).  He researched and tested and researched and tested some more, revolving in a cyclical cycle more times than Julian could count.  Each iteration of researching and testing, he made minor tweaks to make the technology just right.

Anxiety and depression was a topic Julian was passionate about.  His older brother, Adrian, had suffered from manic depression his entire life.  Adrian was Julian’s hero, which made it difficult for Julian to watch.  When Adrian had a good day, everything was rainbows and sunshine.  He would take Julian to the park or to go get a Coke at the corner store.  Or they would ride their bikes for hours, with no plan but to have an adventure.  

But when Adrian had a bad day, it was hard for the whole family.  Julian would suggest they go to the county fair or play with the neighbors dog, he would do anything and everything to cheer up his brother but nothing seemed to work.  It was not until Julian found his brother hanging by his neck from the rafters in the garage that Julian knew he could no longer sit around waiting for the good days.  

As soon as it was time, Julian applied for medical school, learning in the first few years that by being a doctor, he could help many people.  And although helping many people was great, by becoming a neuroscientist, he could help the world.

Julian met Doctor Martin in his second year of his PhD.  Doctor Martin had a mother who struggled with manic depression and so the two bonded over their passion for solving this epidemic. But Julian didn’t realize that Doctor Martin also had a passion for solving Alzheimers, Parkinsons, and Epilepsy.  He dispersed his time amongst these topics and he had teams of researchers for each one. 

“Nice work,” Doctor Martin winked at Julian as he approached the team.  “What is next on the agenda?” He asked his clipboard toting assistant, Julie.

Julie looked at her clipboard, “You have a panel talking about mood stabilizers in a fast-paced society.  I’ll lead the way.”  She had prepared by studying the venue for the ICENTC this year and had every step planned to the minute.

A woman with strawberry hair pulled up into a tight bun on top her head and black-rimmed glasses approached Doctor Martin with a hint of a Southern drawl.  “Doctor Martin!  I’m a journalist with NeuroTechnologies magazine.  Do you have a moment to chat?” 

Doctor Martin looked at Julie who held up a small hand with all five fingers splayed out.  Doctor Martin looked back at the woman with strawberry hair, “I have five minutes.  Can you walk and talk?” 

Julie led the charge followed by Doctor Martin and the woman with strawberry hair and then the team of researchers.  Last of which was Julian.  

“Congratulations! Pretty exciting stuff.” Paul, a fellow researcher said, dropping back a step to fall in line with Julian.

“Yeah,” Julian said.

“You don’t seem that excited,” said Paul.

“No, I am,” Julian said and forced a smile.

“I sense a ‘but’ coming,” said Paul.

Paul worked on Doctor Martin’s Parkinson’s team so he and Julian didn’t talk often except at conferences and other industry events.  But Julian always liked Paul.  He could carry a conversation about things other than science and dressed, shaved, and smelled as though he gave some interest to his personal appearance.

“I just thought it would feel…” Julian waved both his hands in front of himself in tiny circles as if he was wafting the smell of an Italian dish to his nose.  “I don’t want to seem ungrateful of Doctor Martin.”

“But he is kinda stealing your thunder?” Paul added.

“Yeah.”  Julian said in a breath.  He paused, glanced away and then back to Paul and continued.  “But it’s not like I want to be doing that either.” Julian suggested to the woman with strawberry hair who was in deep conversation with Doctor Martin.

“Hell, no.” Paul added.

“The whole public relations thing looks like a nightmare; always talking to journalists and defending your findings.  I like I can focus on my research and he takes care of the publicity.” 

“But he also gets the credit,” Paul said.  Julian nodded slowly as if to contemplate Paul’s observation.

“One last question,” Julian heard the woman say as Doctor Martin stopped outside the blue door Julie held open for Doctor Martin and the team.  The woman finished with, “boxers or briefs?”

Doctor Martin raised an eyebrow and smirked, “boxers, always boxers.”  Doctor Martin walked through the blue door.

As Julian passed the woman with strawberry hair,  he watched her.  He watched her as she watched Doctor Martin.  She had been voice recording the interview on her phone.  She now held the phone to her chest like a schoolgirl holding her school book and watching as the Quarterback of the school football team passed by.  

Julian rolled his eyes and followed the other researchers.  Julian sat with the other researchers in the dusty folding chairs at the back of the lecture hall and listened as the panel got into full swing.  

Half way through, Paul leaned over to Julian and gestured to the stage.  “This other doctor, Doctor Linden.  He is a bit of a hard ass, don’t you think?” 

“The side effects are mild compared to the problem of depression.  Removing technology and reverting our culture back to the way it was one hundred years ago is not how we are going to solve this epidemic.” Julian could hear Doctor Martin say from the stage at the front of the room.  

“I don’t envy Doctor Martin going head to head with this guy for a moment.” Julian responded. “Or the guy from the journal last week…. Or the woman a few days prior to that.”  Doctor Martin was always needing to defend the work of his research team.

And that is when Julian realized he didn’t need the public praise.  What he was doing was enough for himself and the world.  He had just cured the cause of suicide for the world.  He had cured depression and anxiety.