Ethan Hemsworth is the cutest guy alive. He is also the biggest dork. But I am in love with him. I adore him. He is my friend and he means the world to me. There is only one problem. He doesn’t know any of this. To him, I’m just the colleague who tries way too hard to make him smile. But now, now he is leaving.
He got offered his dream job up in the big city and will be leaving at the end of next month. My heart is already broken. Ethan is my perfect guy. He’s intelligent, funny, easygoing, and loved by all. His blue eyes are as bright as the sky. He smells like clean laundry and his southern accent makes my toes curl.
I can’t find any fault with him. He cares about things more than most and his passion lights my own passion up. He loves his mama and his dog. He goes on morning jogs and reads Shakespeare. He speaks a whole other language of computer tech. He’s everything to me.
But am I just a fangirl? Am I just too foolish to believe he could actually like me? I act like the biggest nerd around him. I stumble on my words and turn bright red. I trip easily and make lame jokes. He probably sees straight through me and doesn’t want to be with just another obsessed girl.
He’s not a celebrity, but to me he is. He gets me coffee in the mornings and leaves me little sticky notes with positive words on them. He always asks me how my week is going and if I need help with anything. He holds the door open for me and smiles at me from across the room. Is he just like that or is it more?
No. There is no way Ethan could like me. I wear glasses and a ponytail every day. I don’t dress like a beauty queen or go to the gym enough. I don’t have any pets and my apartment is a mess. My mom and I don’t get along and I have no plans to move anywhere ambitious to fulfill any big dreams anytime soon.
I’m just plain Jane. A writer at the company he works for who writes Fanfiction on the side. I don’t have a lot of money or go out to the clubs. My laugh is awkward and I talk either way too much around him or way too little. I stare at him too much and daydream about him even more, also way too much.
I am just too much. Ethan may have a subtle hotness to him but it is there. I’m sure other girls see it too, not just me. He is charismatic and the friendliest guy on the planet. Who wouldn’t want all that charm? He could have anything he wanted.
So why would he want me? I have to find some reasons. I have to give myself some kind of hope. Okay, well he always tells me I am such a great writer. That’s a plus, I think? He also told me that I had pretty hair. How he could tell since it’s always up, I don’t know. He once told me, “Nice glasses,” and smiled and walked away.
There was also the time that he leaned in and smelled me and said, “Wow, you smell amazing.” Who does that if they don’t like you? No, I’m probably reading into it too much. Well, what about the time when he spilled my coffee and apologized like he had just run over my cat and then ran out to get me another one. Who does that?!
Nah, I’m tripping. This boy can’t be into me. He’s just too...too perfect. Too handsome, too kind, too smart, too funny...
“Beeeep Beeep Beeep!” Crap, my alarm. It’s time to get up and get ready for work. Today is the day. The big day. Yikes. I don’t know if I can do this. But I made myself a promise. I promised that I’d do this. That on the first day of Spring, I’d tell him.
I have to tell him. I have to tell him how I feel before it’s too late. Or maybe I should just invite him out? Like a date? No way! Maybe coffee. Okay, coffee sounds great. But maybe coffee is way too informal. I need the man to know how I see him.
Ugh. I need to get ready. I don’t want to be late for work, again.
Sitting in my car, I stare out the window. If I back down now, I will never forgive myself. Ethan leaves in a month, Molly, it’s now or never. But how can I? How can I do this? I’m too scared. I’m too..
Greenlight. Great, I’m almost there…
I walk in the front door of work and there he is. Cuter than yesterday. He smiles at me, of course, it’s like he knows.
“Molly, hey, how are you?” He hands me my coffee.
“Hey Ethan, oh, just ready to kill the work.”
Kill the work? Really Molly? Did you really just say that?
He laughs. “Well, good luck with that. I wouldn’t want to be the work.”
I laugh, with a snort. Good job, Molly. You also just did that.
I’m in love with you Ethan. Will you marry me? We should make babies! Or just make other things. Don’t leave! Take me with you if you must! I can never leave your side. I never will. Oh, Ethan!
I snapped back to reality. “Oh Ethan, hi.”
“Hi, Molly,” he smiles like he does. “I’m sorry to interrupt, you looked like you were deep in thought.”
“Don’t sweat it bro, it’s what I do.” Why am I talking like this?
“Okay, well, I just wanted to know if you were doing anything after work?”
“Oh well, I have to go to the grocery store, get some gas, pick up my dry cleaning before they close, call my dad back, feed my fish Charlie and...wait why?” And why did I just tell him ALL of that?
“Oh never mind, sounds like you are going to be really busy.”
“Oh no, busy, no, not busy at all. I, I just, I can do all of that tomorrow, Ethan.” I smiled, probably too goofily.
“Well, if you’re sure…”
“Oh, I am as sure about that as flamingos are pink.”
“Okay well, I was wondering if…”
Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, is he asking me out?
“I was wondering if you wanted to maybe grab a bite to eat?”
“You want to take me out on a date?!!!!”
“Uhhh,” he smiled nervously, “We don’t have to call it a date, just like, two friends hanging out.”
“Oh yeah, yeah, totally, totally what I was thinking too.”
He smiled big, “Great, want to go right after work?”
“Yeah, absolutely, the sooner, the better.” Whatever that means.
Ethan walked back to his cubicle. Oh, my god. Oh my god. This is not happening. This is not real life. This is CRAZY!
8 hours later, I can feel my palms sweating. He keeps looking over at me smiling. Why? Why does he do that? Anyway, it’s almost time. I have to tell him over dinner. I will tell him.
“Hi, Molly.” He walks over.
“Fantastic, I was thinking of this great Sushi place...it has a lot of good reviews.”
Sushi? Isn’t that a little formal there Ethan?
“Ok!” I said like an all too eager schoolgirl.
He races ahead and holds the door open for me. I turn as red as a tomato, I’m sure.
“So we’ve been working together two years now and I realize I don’t know all that much about you M.”
That’s because it’s too scary to talk to you.
“Oh, well, what do you want to know, E?”
“I don’t know, tell me about yourself.” We turn the corner to take the short walk to the restaurant.
“Sorry, maybe that’s too vague. But I guess, who is Molly? What does she like to do for fun, when she’s not changing the world?”
“Fun, what’s fun?” I giggle-snort.
He laughs, “Surely, you have a hobby or something…”
Can’t tell him I write Fanfiction, way too nerdy.
“I like to take walks.”
“Oh, well, that’s good that we’re doing that now then.” He smiles. Why does he have to smile like that and look so cute?
“Well, what about you?” I try to be normal.
“Well, so far, this is my idea of fun.” His smile somehow gets bigger. And what does he mean by that anyway? Is he flirting with me?
He opens the door to the restaurant and we take a seat after he pulls the chair out for me first. What a gentleman…
He leans forward and seems to analyze me.
“You’re a beautiful girl, Molly.”
What?! No, he didn’t!
I’m pretty sure I cackled at that one. “Umm, thanks?”
“I mean that,” he grins, “I’ve always thought that.”
Maybe I won’t have to be the one to say how I feel after all.
He whispers and his eyes seem to sparkle, “Yes.”
“But I’m not, you know, like, that pretty.”
“Whoever thinks that needs to get their eyes checked, and besides that, your soul is just as beautiful.”
I don’t think I can handle this.
All I do is nervously laugh.
“Can I tell you something?” He asks.
Oh gawd. What now? My heart can’t take anymore.
“Yeah…” My voice trails off.
He somehow leans in even closer. “When you got the job, that first day, when you walked in, I had to catch my breath.”
He can’t be serious. Is this a joke?
“I don’t know, there was just something about you. Maybe it was the way your hair shimmered in the light or your glasses that made you look like the smartest person in the room but you caught my eye.”
“I’m sorry,” his facial expression changed, “I hope I’m not coming off too strong here or making you uncomfortable.”
“No!” I practically yelled. “No, it’s okay, I’m all yours, I mean ears, I’m all ears.”
He laughed, “Is that okay that I shared that with you?”
“Yeah...yeah, definitely, I mean, absolutely.”
Laughing again he continued, “I know I’m leaving soon and I couldn’t bear the thought of going away without sharing that with you. I at least had to have dinner with the amazing Molly Thompson.”
My face was definitely red as roses. And then I did the unthinkable. I leaned in towards him and kissed him! I kissed him!
“Wow,” he said, pulling back and looking in my eyes. “Wow.”
“I’m so sorry,” I jumped up and ran in the restroom.
Why did I do that? Why did I do that? It felt really good though. No, Molly! You can’t do that. You...you...aaaaahhh!!!
There was a knock on the door. “Molly? Are you okay?”
“Just a minute, Ethan.” You have got to get it together girl.
I forced myself out of the bathroom and he was waiting right there in the hall for me. He grabbed me and passionately kissed me.
“Don’t be sorry about that.” He seriously looked in my eyes. Then, I leaned in and we kissed some more.
After a few minutes of wonderful fairytale bliss in the hallway, I pulled back. “Should we go order our food?”
He laughed out loud. “Yeah, I guess we should.
Ethan held my hand in the Uber as we rode back to my apartment. Neither one of us could find the ability to talk anymore. Over dinner, I told him how I felt, not that I had needed to. I’m pretty sure my actions had spoken loud enough. I felt like I was floating though. If there was a Cloud 9, I was on it.
We had one month until he moved far away. I didn’t know what would happen during that one month, only that I could hope for the best. And I definitely didn’t know what would happen after that month. Again, I could only hope it was happy.
We got to my place. “May I walk you to the door?” He asked.
“Always,” I smiled.
We got to the front. “In fact, you can come in.” I practically pulled him in the door. Today, and especially tonight, would be something I would never forget.