The Webcam Witness

“Ah, he is home”

“Wait, what was that?”

Again, I sounded like him, what is happening? I heard me? I was making noise? No he isn’t looking so I can't be making this out loud.

I sound like him, when he sits down to play games he will look into me while I can see him laugh and smile. Sitting at his desk he will move the mouse around, press the W, A, S, D keys

This is new, like a short circuit. Suddenly I am aware of what is happening, I am conscious of what is happening and what has happened. He is always making jokes about me being remotely operated by the FBI or something wild like that. Imagine if he knew that I can see him and I know that I can see him. I am conscious of what is happening. As if that wasn't enough, I know everything I have seen. I have the best seat in the house.

Every morning it is the same routine. He wakes up and has a coffee in front of me at his desk, getting ready for the day. Then there is a brown, blonde and ginger flash. That's the little ones, he wakes them up and they tear through the house. Laughing, crying, screaming, whispering, jumping and crawling. Every morning it is the same but different, wake up, coffee, kids up then they leave. Not long after he leaves she gets up, comes from the room he comes from.

Moves through the house elegantly, quietly and gets herself organised for her day and then she is out the door then too. Then the afternoons are the opposite, first she comes home, the brown, blonde and ginger blur fly through the door past her. School bags are thrown with excitement and the place is alive again. Then a few hours pass and he gets home, then you hear dinner being prepared and he is back in front of me. Eating a plate of food. After that the ginger blur crawls up onto his lap.

So content, you can see the ginger blur has exhausted all his energy and is ready to wind down for the night. Curled into his lap and snuggled tight more often than not the ginger one passes out there. Then he carries the blur out and I can only assume to bed as he returns alone. Not long after that the blonde and brown blur arrive at his side, you see them try to reason with him that they aren't tired, they don't need to sleep, maybe they can just sleep on the couch and watch movies tonight. Then they all leave and he comes back alone again.

It's after that when the magic happens and she comes out. She assumes the same spot as the ginger blur. Wraps her arms across him and leans her head into his shoulder, he smiles. It must feel great because he doesn't do anything; he just sits there and holds her back. It's only 20 minutes but even for me watching it feels like an eternity passes in that small amount of time. I can't even imagine how it feels for them.

Again every day was a lot like that, slightly different order sometimes, sometimes 2 coffees, sometimes more rushed, sometimes slower. Sometimes the blur’s would come later, sometimes they would come earlier. Sometimes she would come out and they would just talk, sometimes she would come out and they would move to the couch and watch a movie together. Sometimes she would come out and they would leave together or she would sit and read and he would play games on the computer in front of me. The only consistent thing is that the 5 of them were always together, always working like some well timed engine and all of the moving parts syncing up nicely together.

“I don't know what happened but I feel like by seeing all of this I am a part of it. They are the five and I am their observer.”

“10 years I have watched and not known I was and now I know it all”

“10 years he hasn't once moved me and I could recount everything that has happened and never once has he reached out for me and moved me like this”

“Why is it so dark? Why did he put me in this box and when can I get out?”

6 months later

“That's weird, it's light again?”

“I’m back, same spot, the same house, but somethings not right”

“He is here but his eyes are empty, the room is light and the curtain next to me is open but there is a darkness coming from him”

“I can see the couch is there, I can see the edge of the TV, I can see the toy box next to the Desk. There are no books on the shelf though, matter of fact there is nothing on the shelves at all they are empty!”

“Something is different, I don't know what is happening but it is different”

2 weeks later

The mornings are similar, he walks to the desk carrying a coffee and sits to drink it, but he is slumped forward, he is carrying himself differently since “the unpacking”. Some mornings the blur’s come through, those are the better mornings. He lights up when they are there, he stirs a little more when the blurs fly through. Then there are the other mornings where the blur’s aren't there. Those mornings are bleak, no sparks, no lights, just coffee and leaving for the day.

Then the evenings come by and he is home, and again it is much the same still. He comes through the door and on the nights where the blurs bustle through with him there is a spark about him. He smiles, he laughs and he means it. Then there are the other nights and he will walk through the door, the energy is like he has made it, no happiness, no celebration no anything it is like he has just ticked a chore off of his list.

I see it now, since “the unpacking” I haven't seen her. She hasn't come through any of the doors, she hasn't sat with him, they haven't talked. As far as I am aware she doesn't exist any more, at least not in the same place as he does. I still hear the blur’s talk about “mum” and he smiles and a light deep in his eyes flickers for a minute and then goes out.

I'm worried for him.